Back to the drawing board

[sunshine_gg]

Hey folks!

Well, I did it again. And, while I may be able to use some stress excuses... the truth is that I've been setting myself up for this for a while now. Moderating really may not be for me in the long run. For now, there's definitely a 30 days AF in order. Starting today.

Time to get honest and serious again.
*sigh* I so wish this was easier.

.

[tiptronic_ct]

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Sun, as long as you don't give up!!!

How are you going to appraoch this, or is going AF fairly easy for you?

[sunshine_gg]

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I'm hoping it will be fairly easy, tips. I've done 2 30-day stints in the beginning of the year and once I made it over the 4-7day hump it really wasn't all that bad. Mind over matter, right?

[universal]

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Sunshine!!!! So good to see you, I was wondering what was happening! Things still good with Mr. Wonderful?

Well girl, I'm sorry to hear you had a slip - it happens unfortunately - but I also know you have the strength and the ability to do this. I have watched your sucesses in the past and I know you are one strong cookie with lots of support.

As you have said to me on many occassions - "jump back on board, I'll move over, there is lots of room".

Love you honey, good to see you.

Uni

[DeeBee]

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Oh Sunny!! I'm sorry to hear that -- bugger.
Helping you up by the bra-straps girlfriend:-)

[Blue Sky]

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Hi sunshine

When I started lurking on this site back in Feb your posts always stood out and inspired me. You were doing so well and seemed so happy. Just want to say thanks to you cos although you didn't know it you helped motivate me into joining up here and trying to sort myself out. I too did 30 days before Easter but am now struggling with modding.

Here's a non-alcoholic toast to getting back on track!

[sunshine_gg]

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Uni!! How are you holding up, hun? Yep, please do move over - I need to hoist my butt up there!

DB... thank you... but... *checking* what are you pulling on? No bra straps today :H

Blue Sky... oh dear, I wish I could be more of a successful positive influence! Right now, I certainly don't feel all that hot and positive. How do you feel about doing 30 days together? I've always done much better when I'm accountable to someone (other than myself)

[sunshine_gg]

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Well, Mr. Wonderful is still (or again) talking to me - so that's a huge relief. I can't believe I was so careless and pig headed. I've read it and even said it myself... you can NOT let your guard down. Complacency is deadly in this battle.

I'm looking forward to day 2.

[greeneyes]

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Hey sunshine! Full time job it is! No paycheck when you go on vacation!

[Evie.Lou]

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Sunny, Sorry .....really sorry !!!
Hurts like HELL, I KNOW !!! What does alcohol have to offer that you need ???
I finally got REAL with myself and looked in the mirror into my own eyes and guess what ???
For me the answer is NOTHING ???

There is a joyful life on the other side....come on over and you will see !!!

[Loobyloo]

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Good luck sunshine, you and me both!

we are all rootin for ya!!!!!!! I am going to do a week AL, then try and make that into two weeks, and go from there. Baby steps!

Wishing you every success

xxxxxx

[National]

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Sunshine - how you doing on day 2? Hope all is well!

[sunshine_gg]

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Yup, Day 2 sees me a bit more chipper than yesterday How are you making out?

[being present]

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Sunshine I have a question, if you don't mind answering. Why did you decide to try and moderate? Why not just stay AF if it feels so good? There is no sarcasm in this, hope it doesn't sound like it, just genuine curiousity since you have gone so long w/out AL before.

[sunshine_gg]

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Oh.. no offense taken here at all

Why? Wouldn't I like to know that myself right now. To be 'normal'. Thinking I had 'kicked it'. To be able to sit down and have a glass of wine with Mr. Wonderful. Ya know? BE NORMAL.

The trouble is... and I've got to be brutally honest here... even before Tuesday's episode my 'moderate' drinking was not NORMAL. Yes, I did manage to stop at a couple. But to check many mornings, with coffee still in hand, to see if there happened to be an open bottle around is FAR from normal.

So... am I going to try it again? I hope not. Yes, I would LOVE to be able to drink normally. But I'm rather doubtful that it's possible for me.