Am I really an alcoholic?

[The New Me]

Quote from Caroline Knapp's "Drinking: the love story", adopted from AA

"if am not an alcoholic, then I do not need to drink, and if I am - I shouldn't"

Simple, but true...

[veritas]

Am I really an alcoholic?

Once someone challenged me, she said, "if you made a cup of coffee with sour milk, would you drink it?" I turned up my nose.

She then went on, "if you opened a bottle of wine that tasted off after the stores were closed, would you drink it?"

in a heart beat, I realised.

[Kayla]

Am I really an alcoholic?

Good couple of insights here. I'm saving these posts ...

[sunshine_gg]

Am I really an alcoholic?

It occurred to me that I hardly enjoyed the glass of wine in my hand... because I was already thinking of the next 3 and just how much was left in that bottle. And, perhaps I should go and get another one, just in case?

Yeah, I'm definitely an alcoholic.

[The New Me]

Am I really an alcoholic?

Sunshine, it is so funny that you said that. I remember the joy of having a full wine glass in front of me and the sadness when I just a sip left... And planning how to get the next one.
I think if one has such an emotional reaction to a drink, there may be a reason to worry..

[Liath]

Am I really an alcoholic?

I do know that feeling. I dont like to call myself an alcoholic but whatever. I can hardly say that I am NOT an alcoholic. Then there is a genetic link to consider. Anyone else have an alcoholic mom or dad?

[JS81]

Am I really an alcoholic?

I grapple with this question all the time. Where does one draw the line? I think it's a very personal question, but here is my own track record...

- numerous, countless "self promises" to give up. All failed.

- keeping a log of my progress to reinforce the self promises. Failed.

- numerous blackouts.

- numerous instances of "drunk dialing" then not recalling the conversation the next day.

- lost or hurt relationships because of drinking

- nights I drove home but do not recall doing so (bad, I know)

- two attempts to stop drinking with physician's assistance.

- one failed attempt with prescription medication Campral.

- being conned out of money by people who befriended me at a bar when I was drunk and whom I never saw again.

- lying to loved ones about drinking.

- feeling a need to hide the fact that I was drinking. Including use of mouthwash, changing clothes, clandestine trips to the liquor store, etc.

- clandestine drinking on the job.

Yeah, I think I have a problem.

[LilBit]

Am I really an alcoholic?

Sometimes, I wish that no one had ever come up with the label, "Alcoholic." Labels are generally so limiting. Why not find your own name (that works for you) to describe the state you're in now, that you never want to return to, e.g., for me, it could have been, "Half-Life-ist." Better still, find a term that describes the desired state you want to be in and fixate on THAT one! 'Just a thought.

[Liath]

Am I really an alcoholic?

Lilbit-
That is a great point. I too dislike the connotations of the label 'alcoholic'. Not sure what to call my desired state yet though.

[being present]

Am I really an alcoholic?

A wise friend several years ago told me, if you ever think you are an alcoholic then you are. I thought that was very simplistic at the time and CLEARLY did not apply to me. Especially since I didn't drink everyday or get the shakes without a drink or EVER drink in the morning. I didn't need a drink, I liked to drink. But after numerous blackouts, drunk driving episodes, bumps, bruises, horrendous hangovers, laying in my own puke (I know disgusting), waking up in strange places, calling into work with excuses, unremembered conversations, and too many bad decisions to count, I have come to realize that whatever the label means and how much ever I want to resist it, I am an alcoholic, and that simply means to me someone who has a problem with drinking. So here is my thought: if you ever ask yourself if you have a problem with drinking, you do, whether you want to call it an alcoholic or not is up to you. Just my two cents.

[The New Me]

Am I really an alcoholic?

Do the labels matter at all?
In my view, if I own up to it, I can call myself whatever I wish.
One of my realizations that I have a problem was when I felt jealous of people who did not drink. I felt envy of their freedom to say "no", while I felt compelled to say "yes"
I will have plenty of opportunites now!

[DancingGirl]

Am I really an alcoholic?

We're all on our own journey. For me, accepting the label was a big step in breaking out of denial. I don't just drink - I have inherited a genetic disease called alcoholism. I am an alcoholic. God - I just cringed. That's still hard to say.........

Actually I just typed all that, then added the "I am an alcoholic" - (just cringed again)

[being present]

Am I really an alcoholic?

New Me, I completely hear you on the jealousy. i have often watched other people decline, have that one glass or even not finish the glass and been overwhelmed with jealousy wondering why they were so lucky and I was plagued with this problem. Or those people that can get a buzz and then switch to water! I used to think that took superhuman strength until I realized that my brain didn't work the way theirs did, mine didn't possess the internal cut off switch that said enough. My brain said ooh if it feels good now, just think how much better you will feel after another! It took sometime to realize that I wouldn't be so jealous and feel like I got the shaft in the gene pool if I didn't have such a serious problem with AL. I can think of so many other diseases that we couldn't do anything about. At least we can overcome this one! "with a little help from my friends"

[sunshine_gg]

Am I really an alcoholic?

Actually, I am also not a fan of labels, of any kind, really. And, to be honest, I don't ever call myself an alcoholic - except here.

Liath, you had asked if anyone else had alcoholic parents or other family members. My dad is an alcoholic, dry for well over 20 years. He did it with AA - of course, back then there were fewer options and even less knowledge and understanding than today.

Months ago, I tried to look at my 'problem' as an allergy. If I was allergic to nuts I surely wouldn't go out and buy a snickers bar, now, would I? Unfortunately, I also seem to be suffering from sporadic amnesia, since I chose to 'forget' about my little allergy.