Time to change...

[ellabella]

Hello everyone

This is my first post here - so here's a little bit about me. I'm 34 and have been drinking for around the last 20 years, i'd say its probably become a "problem" over the last 15 years. I drink at least a bottle of wine most evenings - if i day off, i feel unbelievably proud of myself, but the longest consecutive period i've been without a drink over the last around 10 years has been 4 days (and that only happened once). I've lost count of the number of times i've tried to cut down / stop, but i always seem to slip back down into my usual routine :-( I know that i have to change, and soon - i'm always shattered, am prone to mood swings, depression and have had to come home from work today due to pains in my kidneys / back area. Can't remember the last morning i didnt wake up feeling shocking....Hope this isnt too much of a ramble..... take care everyone and well done to those who are alcohol free - i hope to join you xx

[Sweaty Betty]

Time to change...

Hey Ellabella, welcome and congratulations onyour first post!

There have been lots of newcomers lately, so you're definitely not alone! Take your time, find your way around the boards, read as much as you can and then think about a plan for yourself.

There is lots of support here, don't be afraid to ask for help!

Bets
x

[sparrow]

Time to change...

Welcome Ella,
You're in the right place. Your story sounds just like mine. I loved my wine. Every morining Id hate myself and say Im not drinking tonight and then by the end of the day that other voice would take over and say why not I deserve a drink, after all I dont drink that much. Then I feel bad, wake up and take advil in the middle of the night. Be mad at myself in the morning; repeat 13 years worth!

Im on day 28 AF and I cant believe it, I was just like you maybe I could go 3 or 4 days but never a week. I feel so much better I can eat again and still lose weight. I sleep like a rock and have more energy.
There are books and supplements on the website. I actually have not used anything yet just the message boards and the chat. Log on in the evening with a cup of tea and meet some great folks.
I have decided to ab instead of mod because it seems like if I start it just gets hard to break the habit.
Stay with us dont quit, just put one foot in front of the other thats what Im doing.

Your new mwo friend,
Sparrow



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[ellabella]

Time to change...

sparrow;659627 wrote: Welcome Ella,
You're in the right place. Your story sounds just like mine. I loved my wine. Every morining Id hate myself and say Im not drinking tonight and then by the end of the day that other voice would take over and say why not I deserve a drink, after all I dont drink that much. Then I feel bad, wake up and take advil in the middle of the night. Be mad at myself in the morning; repeat 13 years worth! .

thats made me cry. i'm just the same - there's so much shame and guilt - every morning i swear thats it, not again tonight and then just go ahead and repeat the cycle. i hate myself for not being able to stick to it.

Thank you both for your welcome and kind words -there's lots of interesting articles on here - i'm looking through the toolbox at the moment. It really encouraging to hear from people who have managed to get control of themselves - thank you xx

[startingover]

Time to change...

Hi Ella, welcome to you.
I too spent way too much time trying unsuccessfully to control my drinking.
I think the key for me was the support and inspiration from the people here.
It is doable, and it makes such difference to a life, good for you for making a start on your journey today.

[Lavande]

Time to change...

Hi Ella,

Welcome! This is a good place, I think you know that already!
I was a wine abuser myself - that is in my past now. I am AF, happy and moving clearheaded into a new phase of my life - grandmotherhood
Stick with us - we'll help you along!

Best wishes!

[tiptronic_ct]

Time to change...

Welcome, Ella

I'm also fairly new here, and I've learnt a HUGE amount in a very little time. There are some really great people here who are willing to give support, so ASK if you need it, and keep posting - it will help to keep you on track!

Tip

[ellabella]

Time to change...

:l thank you everyone - i've only been a member here for a couple of hours, but am already amazed by the amount of knowledge, support and kindness i've seen from the other members. My mood is lifting already and i'm feeling inspired to really make a change this time - there's some much more to life.

[42cat]

Time to change...

Welcome and big hugs to you! You've found an awesome site. This place is wonderful .. and highly addictive .. in a good way.

Lots to read and learn .. and lots of ideas and things try as you find your way "out" .. Oh, and lots of great people too! Looking forward to getting to know you!

[being present]

Time to change...

Ellabella,
Your story sounds so similar to mine. I am 32 and can't remember the last time I have ever had a full week of sobriety. I don't drink every night, but when I do, I drink until I am drunk. I also don't usually drink at home alone, I used to and realized this was not good for me. However, this just turned into me always find an excuse to go out and drink. I have tried to quit and not understood why I couldn't. This is only day 2 for me as I just joined yesterday. But wow, I already feel so much more empowered just reading all these stories and realizing I am not alone. I had a huge trigger for me last night, which is a dinner date, because I love to have wine with dinner. But I never have just one glass and if I do I feel like I deserve a congressional medal. So last night I went on my date and abstained and today I feel so proud of myself and empowered. Good luck to you!! I know you can do it. None of us should have to live with the shame and guilt drinking causes us. No one! And I also know it is not worth it in the long run. Life is too short to not be present for it.

[ellabella]

Time to change...

thanks Being Present I think you're doing brilliantly - especially to have had such a test so early on and to come through it with flying colours!! (hope the date went well )

I drink to "relax" (well thats my excuse anyway) or out of boredom. I dont go out very often, when i do i normally end up hammered (and then feel mortally embarrassed the day after when i remember how drunk i was and how i behaved in front of friends and relatives)..., i normally sit at home and drink alone (i am married but my husband doesnt drink) i will drink until the bottle is empty sometimes i feel drunk, sometimes i dont so much. If there is more in the house i will drink it. I made the mistake last week of buying a box of wine (in the mistaken belief that it was more "cost effective" - now thats an excuse or what eh!) thinking that i'd just drink the same amount, but well i obviously just increased the amount because it was there....

It really helps just to write it all down honestly.... thanks for reading

I think in all honestly i'd have to go down the abstinence route, as i dont think i'd be strong enough to moderate, but the thought of never having a drink again fills me with fear, no thats not the right word, but i just cant imagine being completely free of this (hopefully by hanging around here more, that will change) xx

[Loobyloo]

Time to change...

He ellabella and everyone on MWO, I just joined 5 minutes ago and cried when I read your messages. I am 36 and been drinking for 20 years, every night for the past 10 or so. If I go one night without a drink I feel all holy and then the next night can do a whole botle of wine and sometimes more. I don't know when to stop...

I gave up alcohol in August 2008 because of a terrible alcohol related incident which shocked me to the core. I abstained for 4 months and it felt amazing, like a religious experience. Then I started to sip the wine that I poured for my husband, then I started to have small glasses, now I am back on a bottle or more a night. Last night hubby went out and I drank nearly two bottles. For no reason, maybe boredom (I don't know why I am bored, I have a whole house that needs attention) and I just sat on facebook talking out of my arse for 4 hours. I wokeup this morning thinking what was I talking about and had the fear, bloody awful. So here I am saying to myself again I am going to become AF, again, although this time I don't want to go back.

You can't do it on your own. My husband is helping me and even said we should empty the house of booze, he enjoys wine in moderation and I feel bad to deprive him because of my problem but it will make it easier for me.

It's so scary to think I am never going to drink again and I will really miss it, but then I think what will I miss? Wine breath? Aching back and kidneys? MIssing days off work? Talking shit when I am drunk out my head? Spending a fortune on wine? Upsetting friends and family. Maybe I won't miss it so much after all.

I am hoping MWO forum can offer me the help and support I need. I am scared for myself.

Ellabella you are not alone, I am in the same boat as you.:h

Loobyloo xxxxxx :upset:

[ellabella]

Time to change...

:hug::hug:s for you Loobyloo. We sound so alike! lol - right down to the talking crap on Facebook after a session! It seems that we've both come here today for a reason! I look forward to this journey together - we can do it xxx:l

[sunshine_gg]

Time to change...

Welcome Ellabella and Loobyloo (you 2 siblings, or what? :H)

You have definitely come to the right place! We are a community of very diverse people from many different backgrounds and one common affliction: Alcohol.

Much like you, I also chugged away a large bottle of wine and then some (until DUI - dialing under the influence, passing out, etc.) for years. I became abstinent in the beginning of this year (after joining MWO) and then tried the moderating route. I learned this week, that it is MUCH harder to moderate than to do away with AL. So, I'm back to at least 30 days AF.

A word of encouragement to both of you as you start on your journey: The 'fear' of living without alcohol diminishes after some sober time. Something in your head shifts. You start asking yourself what on earth the big deal about AL is.

Please reach out whenever you need to - there is ALWAYS someone here to help you through a rough spot. And if you happen to encounter a bump in the road and stumble... get up and right back to it. We are all here to support you and lead you back on the straight and narrow (or however that goes).

[Loobyloo]

Time to change...

hello sunshine and ellabella

I feel better knowing I have friends out there who understand.:thanks:

I am shaking like a leaf as I drank so much last night my DTs are really bad today. I have family coming for dinner tonight and am so hungover...but I really want this to be the last hangover ever. I can't wait for this poison to leave my system and get our of my blood, evil evil drink. I am going to get my life back. When I was AL for 4 months last year I felt so happy, like a brighter cleaner version of myself. Then the alcohol crept itself back in and has taken ahold again. All I feel today is dirty and ridiculous.

Whenever I get a craving I am going to make some peppermint tea and come on here and talk to my new friends.

Big love to you all out there and big hugs

Thanks for having me. I look forward to chatting soon.

Loobyloosxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx