Wavering already

[ellabella]

I really cant see me getting through this weekend, or being honest, even tonight AF... whenever i've had the (extremely rare) AF days before, its always been the beginning of the week - NEVER Friday or Saturdays. I've got a night in with the girls planned for tomorrow (been in diary for ages) and its always a boozy night (i always end up more hammered than the others tho of course), and then a BBQ on Sunday at which i know the beers and wine will be flowing. I'm thinking i should just get this weekend out of the way and then start afresh on Monday.... at least i know about MWO now and that should be enough encouragement for me to start properly next on Monday, rather than on a hangover induced whim.... hope you dont think i'm being negative, just being honest

[universal]

Wavering already

Ella - only you can decide how you want to handle this weekend and we are all here to support you. If you choose to drink, try to remember to have non-alcoholic drinks on hand as well (water, juice, pop) to supplement and maybe you won't be the one to get the most "hammered". If you choose not to drink there are a lot of AF options out there in terms of AF coolers, wine, beer - etc.

You need to determine what your goals are, whether it is to mod, completely go AF or whatever your way out is. I have always found that if you don't have a goal or a plan in mind then you have no way of succeeding - if you don't know what your goal is yet - think about it over the weekend. Have you read the book?

Whatever you choose, we are here to help you along.

Have a good weekend!

Uni

[sunshine_gg]

Wavering already

Honesty is great Ella! And, since we're being honest... you KNOW that indulging this weekend isn't the best course of action... or you wouldn't even think twice about it

Here's a couple of thoughts on the subject:

1. IF you drink this weekend, you will be back on day one on Monday. If not, you will have reached a mile stone by Monday already.

2. Why not use this weekend as an experiment... see how it is to partake and observe sober, instead of the usual fog? And report findings back to us on Monday!

3. If you give in this weekend.... what about next weekend?

What I'm trying to say is, please don't throw away what you have RIGHT NOW. The first 2 weeks are the toughest... no doubt. But by wavering now, you'll be right back at the beginning next week. Where you could already be over those first few really tough days.

I also have a bbq/party coming up this weekend. And I intend to have a blast. 100% sober.

Sending oodles of strength and resolve your way! :l

[The New Me]

Wavering already

Ellabella,
Remember, you have the choice. You can do what the others suggested. You can also NOT go to social functions UNTILL you feel stronger. Your decission making this week is still rulled by AL, not sobriety.
How about a weekend of reading the posts on MVO and letting your sober mind learn about AL?

[National]

Wavering already

Ellabella - Your honesty is appreciated. I'm not one to offer advice as I'm just getting started. However, right or wrong, I have told people that I am sick and have cancelled my plans this weekend until I can at least get 10 days out of the way. Good luck and the support is here regardless.

[Lavande]

Wavering already

ellabella,

If you really want to be honest with yourself - then you need to realize that quitting drinking is NOT going to be any easier on a Monday or a Tuesday as opposed to a Friday or Saturday. That's alcohol controlling your thinking!
In order to succeed you really have to want to quit, you have to want it more than anything - more than a couple of weekend parties!
It's your choice of course.
Be kind to yourself.

[Loobyloo]

Wavering already

sunshine that is really good advice. ellabella I am having the same thoughts as you right now but be strong girlfriend, you are not alone. I am going to keep checking in on here to give me strength, hopefully I will see you here too xxxx imagine what we are going to feel like when we make it to day 4, or day 7!!!

[42cat]

Wavering already

I agree about making a plan, etc. Think about what you really want, and think about how to get there. Read around here for ideas. There are lots of strategies. Different things work for different people. A few examples that have helped me in the past are:

Accomplishments. Feeling good about something. I find that when I'm focusing on my positives, I tend to treat myself better. For example, if you're "not" going AF this weekend, what about getting through it with about half of your usual alcohol intake? Come Monday, you'll feel pretty darn good about that, and can then continue on with that sense of control behind you .. and then build on it throughout the week. Plus your hangover will not be as bad.

I also like to remember my reasons for wanting to be AF. They're sometimes easy to forget when alcohol is calling to us ... I have written them to myself in a private e-mail .. so that I can go back and re-read when I'm feeling like I want to give in (Wish I did that on Wednesday, but that's another story). Some of my reasons have to do with family life .. some have to do with health ... then there's that constant hungover feeling every morning .. and I would love lose some of these extra pounds. Maybe writing things out will help you.

And, speaking of writing stuff out ... another thing that has been working for me (again, with the exception being this past Wednesday - eesh) is writing out how I feel / felt during a hangover, or while detoxing and going through withdrawal symptoms (I drank a fifth of rum or vodka every single day, for a long time ... withdrawal was not fun ... and then my hangover yesterday morning from Wednesday - YUCK ... so I've written it out .. because it's easy to forget feelings over time).

Anyway - sorry to be so long-winded. Those are just a few of my things. There are so many things that work for so many people. Decide if you truly want to be AF ... really, truly ... and why .... and plan to get there. If you want it, it can be yours!

Hope your weekend goes well. Nice to meet you, btw. Take care!

[TakeHeart]

Wavering already

Ella,

I think the first days are going to be the hardest, however eventually we need to live in the real world where alcohol exists.

I have been on this rollercoaster for too long. Either you do it or you don't. Like I said on another thread of your's, it doesn't get better or easier with time and time will march on with or without you being sober or not. Choice is 100% yours at this point. Now that's empowerment!

Obviously you will do what you do. If you really want to stay sober and start your new life , then I think your only options have already been posted. 1) call in sick and avoid the situation...truth be told you/we are sick or 2) go and see what it's like to attend these events sober. Afterall, isn't that our goal? To rediscover going out and having fun sober?

Best wishes to you...no matter what your decision is!

[TakeHeart]

Wavering already

~42Cat~ You are so wise!

[ellabella]

Wavering already

I cant thank you all enough Universal, Sunshine, New Me, National, Lavande, Loobyloo, 42Cat and Take Heart :lyou are so wise and generous. For tonight, i have been out food shopping, cooked a lovely healthy tea, had fruit squash and herbal teas to drink and am feeling pretty good! I've NOT seen AL

I read all of your responses and seriously thought about them all... it seems as if i'm having a revelation i NEVER thought i'd get this far, especially on a Friday night, but its me i'm doing this for - i can keep putting it off and saying, oh it will be easier to do next Monday, or the Monday after that - or that or that

It feels strange, like a fog is clearing in my mind - its a new feeling for me - i've had one or two Al free days in the past but it seems different this time somehow..

Its the smallest things, like being able to pop out in the car to the shops because i'd forgotten tomatos - usually i'd be over the limit to drive by 6pm...

A new herbal tea i've bought myself is called "Clarity" lol

I dont want to make any promises (to you or myself) that i cant keep, but for tonight at least i'm Al free - day 2 almost done and i dont feel half bad

I will keep you updated for this weekend, but cant thank you all enough for your support and advice - dont want to sound melodramatic (but probably will) but you are really saving lives :l:l:l

[National]

Wavering already

Way to go Ellabella! Very, very proud of you.

[42cat]

Wavering already

TakeHeart .. you are so sweet!

[42cat]

Wavering already

Ella - what a positive post ... and very Well Done today. VERY well done!

[The New Me]

Wavering already

Ella, I am so glad you did not give in! You are stronger than you thought. I was actually going to send you your own post - Why I do not want to drink - rub it in your face , but YOU DID IT!