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**darkie** · July 12, 2009, 05:56 AM

First days of AF thread...July 12

hi national.im new,(yesterday)dont know much about this sighe yet.but its great to know your not alone.well done on your 5 days i was 7years af///so feeling so horrible now .darkie

**National** · July 12, 2009, 06:51 AM

First days of AF thread...July 12

Welcome darkie - this is a great site and I urge you to browse through all the different posts. No, you are defintely not alone, nor am I. Thanks for the congrats...
Sorry you are feeling horrible now...do you have plans to start again AF? Good Luck darkie...lots of help here.

**sparkleAZ** · July 12, 2009, 07:08 AM

First days of AF thread...July 12

Hey National, I woke up the same way this morning, day 5 here also and I woke up with a non drinking hangover. Hopefully coffee will clear the ole' noggin. Had a hard time seeping last night. Hope this ends soon.

**National** · July 12, 2009, 07:15 AM

First days of AF thread...July 12

Morning Sparkle! Great to hear you're on day 5! Sorry 'bout that non drinking hangover...I'm sure the Java will get you going...
The dreams continue for me...kind of scary sometimes, but sometimes funny. The night before I couldn't figure out where I was and last night some wierd guy in my dream kept trying to sell me Halloween masks by trying on one after another to show me how great they were...scary and definitely wierd!!! Not sure if you call that sleep??? Woke up this morning trying to figure out if I was spooked or whether I should laugh. I chose to laugh! Hope you have a great Sunday!

**darkie** · July 12, 2009, 08:42 AM

First days of AF thread...July 12

today is day two for me,to the outside world all looks well.i want to stop drinking.i hate myself when i drink i hate the way my kid looks at me .pity .fear .sadness.and yes anger.

**MommaBird** · July 12, 2009, 10:42 AM

First days of AF thread...July 12

Good morning everyone. Glad all is well with you National and Sparkle. Welcome to darkie, congrats on Day 2, it is so much better than Day 1. Just hang around this forum and you will be supported. I am Day 4. Last night my husband and I were going out to eat and I wanted to go someplace that did not serve alcohol (my husband doesn't know I am trying to stay AF) to avoid temptation, but he wanted to go to a Mexican place. I did not say anything, except OK, but I almost went into a panic attack in my head. By the time we got to the restaurant, I had sort of talked myself into the fact that I could handle it and I would enjoy my surroundings and the food without going into a foggy brain state. And that's what I did. I really believe each step makes us stronger, but I also know that constant vigilance and positive "self talk" is a must. Hope everyone has a great Sunday. I still haven't received my supplements, meds, and CDs but trying to hang tough.

**prancy** · July 12, 2009, 11:04 AM

First days of AF thread...July 12

Good Sunday morning to all. National, maybe you are trying on different ways of living through the masks, e.g. AF instead of marinating in alcohol. I am hoping the masks are fun instead of scary although your subconscious may be terrified at giving up its good friend (AL). I often have dreams about not knowing where I am and sometimes in a strange house where I wander from room to room becoming ever more panicked. Maybe feeling lost in a psychological way? Who knows? I just remember that they are just dreams......

darkie, I so know that feeling of the way your kids look at you. I only have one but I definitely have gotten the "look." But the way I look at it is if we can just keep with this AF, we will be getting a different kind of look soon. Hopefully one of friendship and pride. I am on day 8. Not many more than day 2 but it sure feels better from this perspective. So just hang on for the ride. My thoughts are with you.

**cacky** · July 12, 2009, 12:16 PM

First days of AF thread...July 12

Hi group. Great to see so many people with more than 1 day AF. Darkie a big welcome to you.

im restarting my AF day today. i have managed over the last 7-8 months of not drinking in front of my kids so now i get to enjoy more positive looks from my kids and i think they are proud of me.

**The New Me** · July 12, 2009, 12:28 PM

First days of AF thread...July 12

Helllo everybody! Happy Sunday! Absolutely fabulous day in NY!
I have replaced my wine with tea, and forgot that green tea keeps me awake. I had a few cups last night and barely slept at all. Guess what? I feel better having not slept w/o AL, than after 10 hours following 1 or 2 bottles of wine. I am really beginning to see the difference.
I have been posting like a maniac today - forgive me. I am just so high on life!

**being present** · July 12, 2009, 01:09 PM

First days of AF thread...July 12

Hey everyone. Day 5 AF for me. I am not feeling so good today. It is very strange that dreams got brought up. I kept waking up with horrible dreams!! Terrible. At one point I made my poor dog come and snuggle with me b/c I was scared. I don't know if the bad dreams are typical, but it sounds like they might be. I woke up exhausted with puffy eyes. I forced myself to take the dog on a morning walk and now I am just reading and feeling crappy. I am still positive though b/c I am AL free and I never expected everyday to be a picnic. At least I feel bad only physically, mentally I am still proud. I begin my day with integrity, I do not think that is possible with AL. Happy Sunday to all.

**The New Me** · July 12, 2009, 01:27 PM

First days of AF thread...July 12

Pesent,
You had quite busy last few nights and lot's of temptations. Maybe your subconciousness is working on something?
Relaxing on Sunday is a right thing to do - this is what Sundays are for!
I hope you feel better tomorow.

**National** · July 12, 2009, 02:33 PM

First days of AF thread...July 12

NewMe - that's wonderful! I was just saying that I would not trade my crazy dreams, shaky hankds/voice, sleep, etc....for one once of AL. I'm really started to feel some positive changes in both my mind and body. Keep it going!!!!!!!!

**darkie** · July 12, 2009, 03:41 PM

First days of AF thread...July 12

thanks all for your understanding comments.went for a walk yith my dogs on the beach,am feeling more positave now,looking forward to another sober day tomorrow.its good to have someone to talk to ,THE NEW YOU .am glad for you.thanks prancy for the hope.cacky your kids are lucky keep it going..mamma bird why dont you tell youe husband?? i feel the same and i dont know why/he is a lovely guy.do we realy want to admitt?/even to ourselves.my head is full of questions//.national i dont know why i picked to today,but im glad i did,

**National** · July 12, 2009, 04:04 PM

First days of AF thread...July 12

Great Job darkie! Keep it up! The positive feeling will only get stronger each day...

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