Sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!

[miserylovescompany]

Hello all - As you will see, i'm new here - browsing on internet I came upon this website and since I have reached a point where I can't think straight, I'm hoping this will give me some solace. I hate what I've become and I don't understand it.

what kind of advice can give to someone who is REALLY sick and tired?:new:

[42cat]

Sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!

Hi there. Nice to meet you. You've found an awesome site. Lots to read and learn about here and on the different message boards. There are so many people in the similar situations who are finding ways out of the hold alcohol has on them.

I'm newly sober, and I couldn't have done it without the great people on this site, their support, advice, etc. I tried some different strategies and kept trying until I found something that worked for me.

Please go ahead and post about your situation if and when you're ready .. Believe me, there are lots of people who will be able to relate and let you know what's working for them.

Looking forward to seeing you on the boards!

[miserylovescompany]

Sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!

Thanks for answering.
My story is so much like the ones I've been reading about (that actually makes me feel better in an obscure way!) I started drinking in my early 20's and have been at it ever since. I have somewhat of a compulsive attitude with alcohol as I will drink one night and then not drink for 2 nights etc. But when I do, oh boy bad news. I'm 40(ish) now and I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I feel so guilty all the time and sick and tired... I stopped drinking for 63 days about 2 months ago but I thought I had it under control. That's my story (banal) in a nutshell.
I'm hoping that putting some of my feelings down will help me move forward.

[42cat]

Sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!

Wow, 63 days - nice job on that one. Sounds like something to build on! I find that the "steps backward" (ie., falling off the wagon) can be great learning tools... when we pinpoint what triggered it, why we craved, why we caved, etc., we can have plans and strategies in place for dealing with it next time ... and we can remember the horrible feeling of the hangovers and withdrawals, guilt, shame - which they say are supposed to get worse and worse each time we fall back...

... Not sure if that's true, but when I had my little "mishap" last week, coming out of it was just horrid. In fact, I wrote about it in an e-mail to myself so I'd never forget .. because feelings like that are so easy to forget - they seem to get clouded and minimized as time goes by. Writing about it, or anything else, such as how you're feeling right now, as it's happening keeps it fresh for whenever you need to read about it. (Works for me! I e-mail myself using my hotmail account, so it's private.)

On the other side of things, you should also remember how great you felt for those 63 days .. being proud of yourself, feeling energetic, alert, and all those good things. Felt great, didn't it! You can get that back.

[jessie]

Sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!

Welcome MLC, you will surely find a lot of company here, everone sick and tired of being sick and tired!
This site has helped me tremendously on my steps forward and picked me up on the steps backward. Just keep on trying.

[Lavande]

Sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!

Hi misery,

Welcome! You've found a great place, lots of support and encouragement to be found here.
You already know that you can stop drinking, what you need now is a good plan. Have you read the MWO book yet? You can download it and read it right away. It's full of useful information to help you make your plan. You did very well quitting for 63 days, what made you start again? Identifying your triggers and having a plan in place to deal with them is very important.

Please join us on the 'Newbies Nest' thread too. There's lots of people there in varying stages of recovery sharing their thoughts & ideas. You have the desire to do this, we'll provide the support you need.

Best wishes!

[miserylovescompany]

Sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!

Thanks for the vote of confidence - all I'm seeing is ONLY 63 days in 20 years - that's terrible !! As you said, the coming out of it is horrible and even though I remember that - the next time I still have that compulsion come over me and I feel like I'm watching myself from outside of myself ? Does that make sense ???

I want to stop, need to stop, do stop, then start, then stop, then start... It's so frustrating. Also I live in a place where alcohol is so much a part of the way of life and culture that to not drink is a social nono.
I think you're absolutely right about writing. This is a good start for me. Hang in there too.

[42cat]

Sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!

Before MWO, I didn't have more than 1 day or so AF (alcohol-free) in about 15 years, and I've been drinking fairly regularly for about 25 years. (I was a weekend drinker early on, and an every-evening-drinker for a good part of the time after that .. and then it graduated into afternoon drinking several years ago, and then to all-day drinking more recently.) I still can't imagine 63 days, but I'm going to get there. Be proud of it - it was a great accomplishment!

Re. 'watching yourself from the inside-out' .. that's exactly how I felt so many times. I'd wake up, pour a drink even if I didn't feel like one, and even say outloud, "Why am I doing this? I don't know." ... and then I'd drink it.

Hey, you've identified one thing - your "compulsion" ... If it's not triggered by anything specific (emotion, situation, etc.), it could be just a craving (and I don't mean JUST a craving .. because we all know it's so much more than "just" .. it's a huge thing and it's difficult to deal with).

Sometimes, for me, re-reading my thoughts and feelings, and reasons for wanting to quit too, can help take the edge off. Sometimes I just have to get myself out of the house, or away from my usual "routine" when I'd usually be having drink. It helps to change things up .. your thinking as well as your routine ... (I've been walking every single evening after supper since June 2 - which is the time I'd usually be pouring my evening drinks and settling in, in front of the TV. I "forced" it in the beginning, and now it's become habit and I actually "crave" the walk, believe it or not!)

Anyway ... These are just my thoughts .. things that I find working for me ... small habit changes .. small thought changes ... forced or otherwise ... little by little .. They add up to a lot!