I know i must sound like a broken record but here i go again. I had a rough night last night.
Here is my story ...last year on July 17, 2008 i left to go to a rehab in California. I managed to stay AF for 90 days. (60 days there and 30 days at home). I was still dealing with a bad situation at home with hubbie of 18 years and things got really crazy and i moved out.
The day i moved out i was drunk and embarrassed myself and my children and was arrested for offensive touching (on my husband). At that time December 2008, i was also facing DUI charges. Since that time (8 months ago), i managed to have all charges dismissed and managed to stay sober in front of my kids and family.
When i left i agreed to pay the mortgage on the house. We were pursuing a divorce but just stopped. Shortly after i left he started a pretty serious relationship and exposed my children to this woman (who appears to be very nice). I thought he broke up with her and we briefly started dating. That stopped over the last month.
Well last night he told me he was still seeing her and wanted to bring the kids around her again. I was on chat last night and was told by a couple of women that he is taking advantage of me. Im starting to see the light. He is getting his cake and eating it to. I feel like im sitting in this self imposed limbo and he is moving on with his life and im footing the bill. anyway, i was drinking last night but had enough forsight (sp) to tell him i was upset but i didnt want to talk about it at the time. i was so upset.
So i woke up this morning after a lot of crying and decided im going to go AF. When i realized the date (the same date as my last sobriety date), i realized that its the right time. If i could do it then i can do it now. I have my kids this weekend and then most of next week too. I thought about my situation. I am not doing anything productive with my life and just sitting here being sometimes sober and sometimes not. so its time for me to take a stand with the AL and after my mind clears i plan to take a stand on my personal life. i dont blame him for dating but what i do blame him for is that he is expecting me to pay the mortgage still (he cant afford to live there on his own).
I know i may sound like a sucker and maybe i am..but i know today that i wont be able to figure it out or move forward if i am still drinking.
Anyway i know that is alot of information and probably too much information but i felt like i needed to put my cards on the table
Here is my story ...last year on July 17, 2008 i left to go to a rehab in California. I managed to stay AF for 90 days. (60 days there and 30 days at home). I was still dealing with a bad situation at home with hubbie of 18 years and things got really crazy and i moved out.
The day i moved out i was drunk and embarrassed myself and my children and was arrested for offensive touching (on my husband). At that time December 2008, i was also facing DUI charges. Since that time (8 months ago), i managed to have all charges dismissed and managed to stay sober in front of my kids and family.
When i left i agreed to pay the mortgage on the house. We were pursuing a divorce but just stopped. Shortly after i left he started a pretty serious relationship and exposed my children to this woman (who appears to be very nice). I thought he broke up with her and we briefly started dating. That stopped over the last month.
Well last night he told me he was still seeing her and wanted to bring the kids around her again. I was on chat last night and was told by a couple of women that he is taking advantage of me. Im starting to see the light. He is getting his cake and eating it to. I feel like im sitting in this self imposed limbo and he is moving on with his life and im footing the bill. anyway, i was drinking last night but had enough forsight (sp) to tell him i was upset but i didnt want to talk about it at the time. i was so upset.
So i woke up this morning after a lot of crying and decided im going to go AF. When i realized the date (the same date as my last sobriety date), i realized that its the right time. If i could do it then i can do it now. I have my kids this weekend and then most of next week too. I thought about my situation. I am not doing anything productive with my life and just sitting here being sometimes sober and sometimes not. so its time for me to take a stand with the AL and after my mind clears i plan to take a stand on my personal life. i dont blame him for dating but what i do blame him for is that he is expecting me to pay the mortgage still (he cant afford to live there on his own).
I know i may sound like a sucker and maybe i am..but i know today that i wont be able to figure it out or move forward if i am still drinking.
Anyway i know that is alot of information and probably too much information but i felt like i needed to put my cards on the table
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