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AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

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    #16
    AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

    Cacky, it does sound like your husband is taking advantage of you but only you know what it is like to live in your shoes. You did it before. It sounds like you are very smart and very strong and even though this is a difficult time, I know you can do it again. AF you will be better able to sort out your options and speak honestly to your husband. I am on Day 13 (and Lord, it's Friday!) and for me that is the longest time AF for quite a while. I didn't used to be a daily drinker--more of a binge-type-- and then became both! It feels good to be AF today and make decisions about my family without being addled in my brain from AL. You have today and it sounds like the timing is right!

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      #17
      AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

      Today is day 3 for me. I have had some really great AF days. I have told several people about my AF start which is huge for me..including my husband. I have had several conversations about my husband. I had a great conversation with my husband. Its amazing what kind of advice i was able to give him. I am trying to make sure that i am surrounded by people during my first couple of weeks of sobriety. if i dont have someone with me...i will drink. once i get through the 1st couple of weeks..i will be in a much better place.

      so things are looking up on day 3. thanks for all the support

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        #18
        AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

        cacky,

        My heart goes out to you. It must be incredibly difficult to deal with your husband and the way he is behaving. I don't know if I could handle it. I'd be a raging lunatic, so I commend you for keeping it together as much as you have.

        Congrats on day 3! I do have to agree with the others in that once the AL is gone the brain clears up and then you'll be in a better position to deal with your husband. I don't think I could be as nice as you've been, but maybe that's because the green eyed monster is strong in me. However, your children do need a place to be so I guess I can see paying the mortgage (but I'd have a really hard time doing it with that woman in the picture). It's a tough spot you are in.

        Big hug! :l
        ^ My Baby Ruby ^

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          #19
          AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

          My feeling right now is that the money is that money is not so important. im still making money. i spent alot of time counseling him the other day because i actually think he is addicted to relationships. i do love the guy although im not sure i can live with him. im committed at least today to stay sober and went to a meeting this morning. saw someone from this site and am going to another meeting tonight. my daughter was in a hula hoop contest and so far holds the record and we swam this afternoon. just trying to keep myself accountable.

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            #20
            AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

            way to go

            Cacky...good for you!!!! You will feel stronger each day that passes. Keep up the good work. I know you can do this.
            Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

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              #21
              AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

              Well its now 11pm and ive made it through day 3. i went to 2 AA meetings and told some of my AA friends (who i have not told that i was still drinking) that friday was my first day AF. its been a great run so far

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                #22
                AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

                My first day here and I feel your pain. I woke up this morning, had no idea how I got home. My truck was locked up with my shoes and purse inside. I called a friend, he said him and his wife found me outside the bar, with the interior lights on, windows rolled down, passed out in the drivers seat. I do not remember. But what I do know, is it will never happen again. Alcohol is ruining my life. I feel like crap and have no energy. I had thrown up in my hair and was to tired today to even wash it. I finally got into our swimming pool, in my clothes to clean up, pathetic. No more, just don't know where to start. Vodka is not my friend.

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                  #23
                  AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

                  :upset:My first day here and I feel your pain. I woke up this morning, had no idea how I got home. My truck was locked up with my shoes and purse inside. I called a friend, he said him and his wife found me outside the bar, with the interior lights on, windows rolled down, passed out in the drivers seat. I do not remember. But what I do know, is it will never happen again. Alcohol is ruining my life. I feel like crap and have no energy. I had thrown up in my hair and was to tired today to even wash it. I finally got into our swimming pool, in my clothes to clean up, pathetic. No more, just don't know where to start. Vodka is not my friend.

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                    #24
                    AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

                    Hi Cacky,
                    How are you doing today? Congrats on getting to the start of day 4. You can do it! I hear lots of resolve in you and in your determination to wear the BGP. I like that phrase too.
                    You husband sounds like he might be a little confused about what and who he wants. At least if you both can keep focused on the kids that will help them, and you both, immensely. I also hear that you still care for him - of course that's human nature, or rather female nature, to miss the relationship and the closeless especially with the father of your children. But take care of you now. Keep your eye on what you want - another day of AF.
                    Be strong girl!
                    Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.
                    AF since May 6, 2010

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                      #25
                      AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

                      Hi Candothis, you need to get through the next couple of days and get through the guilt phase to really try and go AF. Never forget this day but dont let it run your life. Start a thread out there so that many people will see it and respond to you and give you the help you deserve. You may get lost in my thread.

                      I woke up this morning and went for my run/walk. Happy again that i didnt drink. I have a very little bit of money until the end of the month. I could have gone and had some drinks and typically i can get some guy to buy me a few etc. while im out but instead i stayed after the AA meeting talking to the AA friends and telling them that was why i was staying. Anyway i realized this morning that i need to start catching up on my bills. Im running dangerously close to having things being turned off and i am contstantly past due on stuff. For someone who makes what i do..that's just plane ridiculous. Ok...so another good reason to stay AF.

                      So on to day 4. Today will be easy. Have kids all day. Day 5 at night might be a challenge but i made a commitment to some friends (that i have now confessed to) that i will be at an 8 pm meeting tuesday night (day 5) so i should be ok. as long as i keep honest with the people i have to show my face to for the first few weeks...i should be in good shape. plus i want to be in better shape physically, mentally, financially, emotianally

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                        #26
                        AF Day 1 July 17, 2009

                        C'mon Cacky! Keep your focus. Make a commitment to yourself, don't worry about anybody else. You're doing great!...........G.

                        'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                        Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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