60 days AF and AL wins!

[com1]

After years of way too much drinking, I found this site and resolved to be AF once and for all. It was a struggle for a few days and then the cravings were mostly gone. I signed on for a 30 day AF stretch and when I reached that, I decided to go for 60. I still had virtually no cravings and was really enjoying the AF lifestyle.

So along comes the 4th of July and family get together and I, in all my brilliance, decide I can now moderate even tho' I knew in the past that it was not an option. Wrong, wrong, wrong. When I start, I cannot stop. I was back in the daily rut of drinking in the evening until out of it. AL is so strong and is much craftier than I by a long shot.

I now crave two things. The AF lifestyle and AL. It is time to begin anew with MWO and a commitment to being AF. ODAT. But I am not as self assured right now after falling all the way to the bottom once again.

Thanks for listening!

Com1

[42cat]

60 days AF and AL wins!

Com .. congrats on your 60 days. Very well done!

And don't you think for one minute that AL has won. To the contrary, you have learned that you cannot mod - a good lesson for sure. Therefore, you have strengthened your ammunition against AL. He cannot talk you into thinking you can mod again, because NOW you know better. Use your "step back" as a learning / fighting tool.

Now, you've done 30, 60 days ... you know you can do it, you know how great it felt to be in control .... Go get it again!

[starfairy]

60 days AF and AL wins!

hi com1,
i did the same as you. I had a really bad awakening call around christmas and went almost 3 months. i am a binge drinker so i would usually drink to excess one night, be hungover the next and then start again the following day. i did real well and then just out of the blue decided one night i was going to go to a little get together with "only a six pack" though i was able to moderate that night it put me right back into the evil hands of AL. i am now starting over again. i am on day 9 and as bad as this sounds am pretty sure i will drink this week because my mother is coming to town and she is a heavy drinker and as ironic as this sounds, it is the only way i can deal with her visit and the situation. maybe i won't. i knkow it is my choice but it looms heavily...anyways enough about me. i am glad you are back and i wish you the best. it is hard. it is so very hard. but you have proven you can do and to put a happy note on the subject there are no upcoming holidays for a while

[Cinders]

60 days AF and AL wins!

Com1,

Look at the bright side. You have learned an invaluable lesson.

And being a bit less self-assured is actually an asset with this addiction. We have to recognize that "it" can lure us, cheat us, lie to us and do whatever it takes to get us back to satisfying its need.

I am one of the Queens of relapse, btw, and stubbornly refuse to give up.

WB,
Cindi

[Long Road]

60 days AF and AL wins!

Starfairy:
I know that Mothers' coming feeling. My mother is a well hidden alkie, she only drinks when no one who doesn't count is looking.IE Me. Aside from that she drinks like a fish and gets aggressive. She hates me for getting sober and calls me a wuss and no hope poofter.
My father doesn't drink. I think he's proud of my sobriety. That's a plus

[TakeHeart]

60 days AF and AL wins!

Com1,

WOW! 60 days? I have no idea what that would be like! Do you keep a journal? I find it helpful to go back...in my case it shows me how my drinking problem has progressed and slaps me in the face with the reality of how long I've been struggling with this.

But, it may be helpful for you to write about how you're feeling now and to write about what you miss about your AF life. It might also be useful in the future should you be tempted to drink.

LR- I'm really shocked at your mother's response to your AF life. You know what they say, "misery loves company" and it really is so true. So sorry and I'm sure your dad is VERY proud of your sobriety!

[sunshine_gg]

60 days AF and AL wins!

Com1... where we separated at birth?

Same here.. exactly the same. But, like others have said... this fight is far from over. AL has not won.. not by a long shot. You and I both know that we CAN DO IT.

Time to scramble up and collect our spilled will power and dignity. Wishing you strength and unbridled success.


LR... Heavens, that's awful!
I AM PROUD OF YOU.. if that means anything. You've come a loooong way and I am in awe of your accomplishments!

[Lavande]

60 days AF and AL wins!

Com1,

Glad you came right back, that's what's really important!!!!!
Jump right back on and stay on with us, OK

Please join us on the 'Newbies Nest' thread, you'll find lots of support there too!

[Tulipe]

60 days AF and AL wins!

Hi Com1,
How are you doing? Have you had an AF day since the start of the binge? The earlier to jump back the better before the body gets re-addicted, I think.
If you did 60 days before you can do it again. I agree with Cindi - good lesson learned.
Star - I know the feeling of needing AL to deal with an AL family. Ironic, isn't it. But not a good pattern. Or example for children, don't know if you have any but I do.
Long Road - your mom obviously has a real problem if she gets on your case for not drinking. Sometimes you have to tell yourself that other people's problems are in fact THEIRS, not yours, and distance yourself. Glad your dad is supportive.

[Gearhead]

60 days AF and AL wins!

60 days is HUGE. You did GREAT. I wish I had the resolve but I am trying.

[FloridaBoy]

60 days AF and AL wins!

com1;669361 wrote: After years of way too much drinking, I found this site and resolved to be AF once and for all. It was a struggle for a few days and then the cravings were mostly gone. I signed on for a 30 day AF stretch and when I reached that, I decided to go for 60. I still had virtually no cravings and was really enjoying the AF lifestyle.

So along comes the 4th of July and family get together and I, in all my brilliance, decide I can now moderate even tho' I knew in the past that it was not an option. Wrong, wrong, wrong. When I start, I cannot stop. I was back in the daily rut of drinking in the evening until out of it. AL is so strong and is much craftier than I by a long shot.

I now crave two things. The AF lifestyle and AL. It is time to begin anew with MWO and a commitment to being AF. ODAT. But I am not as self assured right now after falling all the way to the bottom once again.

Thanks for listening!


Com1

Thinking that you can mod and be 'normal' is a big struggle. I have no off switch. Seems you don't either. Accept that and you are on your way. There is no shame in it.

Remember, the hangover lasts a lot longer than the buzz.

[cacky]

60 days AF and AL wins!

Com, congrats on the 60 days. Sounds like you are going through the same thing you went through in the 1st 60 days. I think from what you said is that it got easier and you began to enjoy the AF lifestyle. I think you will again. I really believe you just taught yourself a lesson. Lesson learned. Move on and Live life

[savon19]

60 days AF and AL wins!

Com1 - 60 days is a HUGE SUCCESS (AL did Not win... just gave you a nudge).

I think (often) that we with this "problem" are more Perfectionist and harder on ourselves than the average Joe - which can actually Cause us to drink! We look at the glass as half empty (so to speak!)...

You accomplished what many (most?) of us haven't to go that long AF!! I haven't.