That voice in my ear

[tylyr]

That voice in my ear

Winefree

You've done it then? Despite the voice? Do you mind me asking - does it get easier? Do you have to work at it ALL the time? I know that I'm powerless, but it's just sooo difficult - sorry to be stating the obvious! Your sentence about Rationalizing is so true. Once I've been off the AL for a few days, I 'deserve' it again - does this ever go away!

[Winefree]

That voice in my ear

tylyr, I had to hit bottom to finally see the picture. AL was ruining my life. My husband walked out and I knew if we were ever to get back together I had to rid AL from my life. I am currently using an AL counselor, AA and MWO for support. The first month was the hardest, the voice was relentless. Actually it was more like the first 7 wks if I think about it. I went 9 days AL free, drank for 2, went 11 days and drank for 1. Last drink was May 1st, so I have 83 days today and am feeling great.
After May 1st and through that first month, the voice was almost continously there, telling me I could drink after this many days or that many days or maybe for the July 4th holiday or on my vacation in August etc. I thought I would definitely be drinking at some point, it was just a matter of when. But with continued therapy and hearing the stories at AA( I attend at least 7 mtgs a week and sometimes 9) and reading MWO threads and any AL literature I can get my hands on, the voice has died out. I am so grateful for that. I do know the voice is still there and can come alive at any time, so I need to be vigilant and continue in this path to keep the voice quiet. I no longer feel that I have to drink at some point or another. I am convinced the drinking doesn't solve anything and only creates other problems.
My husband came back home 10 days ago. We are trying to work things out and are going to marriage counseling. He never would have left, if I had stopped drinking sooner, but I wasn't ready until I hit that bottom.

Yes, it does get better. If anyone had told me on April 8th that I would have gotten this far fighting AL, I never would have believed it possible.

Winefree and loving it

[jubilee]

That voice in my ear

Thank you winefree.... what an inspiring story.

[brightlite]

That voice in my ear

yes very inspiring winefree. The voice is the beast from the pit of despair! So hard to ignore sometimes without extreme motivation. It seems that so many women (especially) become addicted to wine. I know there are a few men, but an awful lot of women have problems with wine. That's our society for you. It's considered classy to hold and drink a glass of wine as opposed to drinking a beer or a mixed drink. That is romantizing it and you have to look at it for what it really is and that is poison with the skull and cross bones.

[tylyr]

That voice in my ear

Winefree - thanks for your story. It is inspiring. I AM able to keep away for days on end, and then give in. I don't attend AA, and am doing this on my own - I don't feel that I'm rock bottom, just know that I can't go on like this, and enjoy children, new grandchildren. I'm away on holiday with drinkers mid- August, and like you say in your note, I 'know' that I'll give in at some point - this is what I want to avoid. I'm going to keep on coming here, and thanks again Tylyr

[Winefree]

That voice in my ear

My original downfall was trying to do it on my own, if you note my start time here Nov 07.
It didn't work. I also hear a lot of AA members say the same thing about trying to do it alone and it didn't work for them either. Seems to be a common theme.

Winefree

[tylyr]

That voice in my ear

didn't make it here yesterday - been away. Thanks again Winefree. I understand what you say but going it alone. No one knows the problem I have, no one at all. My husband realizes that i like a drink- more than he does, but he really has no idea how much wine I can guzzle when I get the bug. that's why I don't join AA. I'm on day 9 now - again - and it is easier. The trouble is that 'little voice' again which says just the 1 will be OK. I'm sure others have this voice too - but why do we give in to it. So many inspiring stories here however Brilliant, I really hope to be able to do this some day

[Winefree]

That voice in my ear

Because we are addicted to alcohol, that's why we give in to it.
As AA says, we are powerless over alcohol......seems to be a true statement. I know that is what happened to me.

WF