My Grand Plan Failed

[feathersnfur]

Hi

I am sad to say that my wonderful plan fell flat and I am back to square one. I had been going to spend the week cutting down, and today should have been my first day without a drink. It just didn't work, and I am a bit lost again. The thing is that I was away from home Wed Thurs and Friday, arriving home that afternoon in time for my wedding anniversary party - I was going to be down to 1 bottle only that night, and by today would be free. It's not even got off the ground. I left home full of optimism, was out working that evening when a phonecall from home informed me that my beloved father in law's CT scan that day had revealed extensive cancers and he has only a few weeks to live. Since then we have been trying to get things arranged, my husband and children will be travelling back to the UK to be with him, I will be staying here on my own for a few months to mind the house and do my job. I am so sad. Unfortunately I haven't managed a single sober day though most days I have been able to cut back. Obviously we were in no mood for partying on Friday, and I haven't been able to think about my plan, and giving it up, I am really struggling, feeling really bad and that I've let myself down.

I am also really worried, as I don't know how I am going to manage to give up with all this stress, plus being on my own (which I never have been), but I do really want to. I don't want to use it as a crutch, I really want to stop, but I don't know where to find the strength. I feel so darned low now.

Feathers

Feathers

[sparrow]

My Grand Plan Failed

Hi feathers,
My heart really goes out to you. You sound like a really kind and compassionate person! I think it is impotatan not to be so hard on yourself. I am sorry to hear about youe Father-in-law. Maybe you could try some counseling or a support group, since you have such a difficult stiuation.
I don't want to tell you not to quit drikinng now, it is always a good time to quit. Alcohol is not our friend, I too have a very sick mom, and estranged son, and family problems. so I can really relate to you.
Many times I want to have a drink, I tell myself that whatever the problem is the poison wont help. I wait 30 minutes and the craving passes. I took a job at a baptist church, it was eye opening to see them go through all of lifes problems without Al. They just dont use it. This gives me inspiration to go on.
I know what it is to feel like you are in the middle of a storm. I guess I feel like my life is going to get a lot more stressful, so I want to quit before my drinking gets worse.
I pray for strength to continue. Try the resources at this site supps cds etc. Also one thing thhat's helped me is the book The Easy Wat To Quit drinking by allen carr. I dont agree with all of it but it has changed the way I think about Al.
God Bless you feathers I will be praying for you. Please read and post we all care about you!!
I hope this wasn't too long
your mwo friend
Sparrow

[Guest]

My Grand Plan Failed

Unfortunately as alcoholics we will look for any reason to drink - if we want to. Sometimes a crisis can be a good way to actually stop since we are more use sober!

So, don't stop stopping just watch out for the "excuses" since they will always be there.

By the way, I'm not saying your family situation isn't serious but I have known folk latch onto anything. Currently I'm latched onto depression and business failure, coupled with losing my family, partner relationship and have an inability to make or keep friends!

[Wally22]

My Grand Plan Failed

Find ways to celebrate your victories feathers.
If you only see your failures it's a downward spiral.
Try not to be alone. It's not a good idea when we are trying to quit drinking.
Activities that don't include alcohol distract us and that is good. Can you volunteer at the library, or join a Baptist softball team or something along those lines.
Many people find AA very helpful.
Best of luck on your journey to sobriety. We are all rooting for you.

[sosad61]

My Grand Plan Failed

Ukblonde;670477 wrote: Unfortunately as alcoholics we will look for any reason to drink - if we want to. Sometimes a crisis can be a good way to actually stop since we are more use sober!

So, don't stop stopping just watch out for the "excuses" since they will always be there.

By the way, I'm not saying your family situation isn't serious but I have known folk latch onto anything. Currently I'm latched onto depression and business failure, coupled with losing my family, partner relationship and have an inability to make or keep friends!

You have friends hee UKblonde. Seriously. If you ever need to send me a private message to talk, I'll try and respond as quickly as possible. No agenda here, just trying to be of help.