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    Your thoughts about moderation

    Dear board, what are your thoughts on moderation? I have been sober for 11 days now, for the fisrt time since I started drinking 20 yrs ago and I am considering moderation. Thank you very much.

    #2
    Your thoughts about moderation

    Some can do it and get by just fine. Others - well - can't. I've been drinking for over thirty five years and am on day 3 AF. I've quit two other times in my life. I don't know - moderation eventually leads to excess for me. I'd love to just say - nope - I don't drink. That's just my humble opinion.

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      #3
      Your thoughts about moderation

      Keyners, check out the Monthly Moderators and Long Term Moderators forums. You will find a lot of info there. Most people who choose to mod, and who moderate successfully, do it after a good chunk of AF time -- generally more than 30 days. Usually WAY more than 30 days -- again, for those who are successful.

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        #4
        Your thoughts about moderation

        I have a few thoughts on moderation:

        1. You will find very strong opinions on here about it, and they are usually black and white

        2. My experience is that many more people who TRY moderation come back later and say, "Nope, wasn't for me, but that's ok, going AF for good now."

        3. The moderators work VERY hard. It is more work in some ways, because of the planning involved. The AF folks amongst us have less choice, but there is the rub, they NEVER have to make a choice. There is only one, ever, and that is to not pick up a drink in any situation. Simple. HARD to do, but simple in the end if you think of it that way.

        In any case, I highly recommend you get the minimum 30 days of AF under your belt before you make your final decision.

        Good luck to you!!

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          #5
          Your thoughts about moderation

          I'm still not sure where I'm going to end up with that either. Right now it's definitely AF. But, I am not saying NEVER. There might be a time that I decide to try MOD. I just don't know. Today I thought about it and I thought about waking up the next morning if I had too much. It was not a good feeling at all. So for me - I am happy to be on Day 8 and will be working very hard to continue to stay on the AF path for a long time.
          "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
          ..........
          AF - 7-27-15

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            #6
            Your thoughts about moderation

            If you read Moo's Plan there is history on one modder.
            I would like to mod too, but I don't know if I can. Am I modding now? I don't know. Is 30 of 36 days AF an example of modding if I way overdid it 3 of those 6 times? Opinions anyone?
            Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.
            AF since May 6, 2010

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              #7
              Your thoughts about moderation

              Yes modding is a very subjective issue -- please read through some of the older posts in the Long Term Mod section as well as our daily thread to get an idea if this is the commitment you are ready to make.

              You are welcome to join in on the Mod Squad Thread and feel free to ask questions.
              "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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                #8
                Your thoughts about moderation

                I think you have to know yourself!
                Do you really think you can stop after just 1 or 2 drinks like a normal drinker?

                I've decided that, in the long run, it is much easier for me to remain AF! I really don't want to spend the rest of my life worrying about this issue! Frankly, it's a major pain in the butt. I'm choosing to remain, happy, healthy, calm & relaxed with no alcohol war going on in my head
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                  #9
                  Your thoughts about moderation

                  I went from a fifth-a-day habit (rum, vodka, all day) to a couple of beers every other night, or so ... for about a month. I thought I was doing fine moderating - and I was doing fine .. with no problems at all and no desire to over-do it..... Then one day I decided it would be OK to "treat" myself to some rum and coke - BAD idea (for me).

                  .... It was like a reunion with an old friend. And the hangover was horrid. I don't want to do it again.

                  But that's just me. And I wouldn't have known if I could handle it or not until I "tried" it. I'm not necessarily suggesting you try it, or not try it - just sharing my experience.

                  Good luck... and CONGRATS on your 11 days .. .Woohoo!
                  AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

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                    #10
                    Your thoughts about moderation

                    Keyners,

                    I always hesitate to answer this question. My experience with "modding" has been horrible. The concept does not exist for me. I have tried many, many times and failed in every single instance.

                    The reason I hate to answer this question is that some apparently can. DeeBee and others are doing fine with it. So, only you can figure it out.

                    But, each time I tried and failed ended up with me going on huge binges that were very difficult to come back from. I only have so many sobers in me and I don't want to keep testing those waters.

                    Like 42Cat, I can only speak from my experience.

                    AF is the life for me. It has to be if I want to keep living.

                    I hope that whatever you decide works out for you.

                    Cindi
                    AF April 9, 2016

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                      #11
                      Your thoughts about moderation

                      Ideally, I'd suggest more than 11 days AF before trying to mod. But if you feel you want to give it a go, make sure you have a good plan under your belt first. As DeeBee says, feel free to join us and ask questions in the Long Term Mods section.
                      Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

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                        #12
                        Your thoughts about moderation

                        Hi everyone.

                        I have been AF now for eleven days. Having been a heavy drinker for the last thirty years or so I have been lucky in finding it fairly easy to quit. I thought that it would be much harder,but I do have a determination to beat this.Moderation or total abstinence ? Well, I don't know the answer to this right now, but I intend to get at least thirty days under my belt before making that decision. After that point, I may just try moderation to see if I can do it. However I do have a choice following that. If I find that I am unable to control my drinking, then I will simply start again, knowing that I can go AF for thrity days and abstain for good. It may be different for others. I am not actually saying that I am going to drink after the thirty days, but just a maybe. An odd glass of nice wine in good company should be a pleasure rather than a danger. If it turns out to be a danger then I quit for good. Good luck guys

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                          #13
                          Your thoughts about moderation

                          Eleven days is'nt enough time....MWO suggests you wait about 90 days. That way your sure your body and head is on straight. IAD
                          ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                          those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                          Dr. Seuss

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