horrible weekend
Take heart that is exactly the train I've been on. I'll do it tomorrow, tomorrow. OK after the weekend. OK extend the weekend. And so on. The best most productive enjoyable part of my weekend stopped on Friday when I started drinking.
So I met her at the neighborhood bar, there was some serious partying and boozing going on all around. This is a place I'm a regular too. I'm not much of a bar drinker anyway, usually prefer to do it safe in the home, but it was still a baby step. Was cool to pull up next to the sherriff and let the Mustang's engine rumble on the way back without fear of catching attention, without guilt and shame, knowing the only law I MAY be breaking is a noise ordinance hehe, NO alcohol in my system. I have driven many times knowing I am at legally OK levels but it still makes me nervous. Tests can be debated in court. I was perfectly good with my glass of Sprite. My date asked why I wasn't drinking so I made a lil white lie, I had one before she got there. That was that. Didn't even miss it. Now I shall have some sleeptime tea, watch some funny TV, get some REAL sleep and go KICK ASS AND TAKE NAMES at work. (I mean it in a good way).
Take heart that is exactly the train I've been on. I'll do it tomorrow, tomorrow. OK after the weekend. OK extend the weekend. And so on. The best most productive enjoyable part of my weekend stopped on Friday when I started drinking.
So I met her at the neighborhood bar, there was some serious partying and boozing going on all around. This is a place I'm a regular too. I'm not much of a bar drinker anyway, usually prefer to do it safe in the home, but it was still a baby step. Was cool to pull up next to the sherriff and let the Mustang's engine rumble on the way back without fear of catching attention, without guilt and shame, knowing the only law I MAY be breaking is a noise ordinance hehe, NO alcohol in my system. I have driven many times knowing I am at legally OK levels but it still makes me nervous. Tests can be debated in court. I was perfectly good with my glass of Sprite. My date asked why I wasn't drinking so I made a lil white lie, I had one before she got there. That was that. Didn't even miss it. Now I shall have some sleeptime tea, watch some funny TV, get some REAL sleep and go KICK ASS AND TAKE NAMES at work. (I mean it in a good way).
I will never forget that. At least I made it to work on Monday, and was not hungover. I guess that is progress relative to last week, where I "lost" Monday and Tuesday. I started a spreadsheet so I can track exactly how much money I am wasting on this. Clearly moderation is not an option to me. Hopefully tracking this daily and filling in ZERO's will help my focus.
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