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    #1

    Moderating and mad about it

    My cravings are subsiding considerably and I am feeling good (thanks to the supps?), but I have been in a pissy mood ever since I am moderating my intake to one or two drinks a night. I think it is b/c I miss the escape and happy buzzed feeling after a long day with the kids. I really don't have the physical urge to drink more but I don't feel happy or satisfied. I never regret it the next morning though. But when my typical time to start drinking comes around I get gloomy and restless as can be. Can any one relate? Will this ever change?

    Also, I am really nervous b/c I have a party on Friday that I really DON'T WANT TO GET DRUNK AT!!! I am afraid that my one or two glasses will become 4 or 5 and I will get sloppy drunk in front of new friends that I really want to become closer to. My drinking has gotten in the way of my ability to make close friendship and I feel on the outter circle all the time. I get anxious and nervous in social settings and it "makes me" drink faster and much more than I should. I really need a strategy for making it through the event sober. I want to be able to have a social glass or two...but I am afraid that I will be in dangerous territory if I do.

    Any thoughts would be helpful!!
    Thanks
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    #2
    Moderating and mad about it

    Yep.
    Yep.
    and yep.....completely get it.
    I decided that having friendships is more important to me than getting a skinfull at every event and not remembering a thing about these social interactions (and making a goose of myself to boot)
    So , suggestion, even if you mod at home , maybe go dry at this event? Take a non alcoholic bevi, stick it into a wine glass, and enjoy your time.
    Re the moods: personally I'm starting to wonder if the moods were always there, and I jut drank through them, perceiving myself as an even tempered soul, when I'm just as changable as every other human on the planet.
    How do you REALLY think moderating is working for you ?
    Welcome to the boards.
    Bridget.
    If your 8 year old self met you, would they be proud?
    Rejoined life 20/5/19

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      #3
      Moderating and mad about it

      Hi Luckymom
      I am with Bridget on this one, dont drink at the event just stick with non Al drink, that way you KNOW that you wont make a fool of yourself.
      Yours moods will get better with time, try and find something to do when you know is the worst time for your cravings, keep yourself busy.
      Good luck
      :dancin: enguin:
      starting over

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        #4
        Moderating and mad about it

        I'll third it. If anything, promise yourself a drink later. Don't put temptation and social events together.

        Comment

          #5
          Moderating and mad about it

          Hi LuckyMom, I don't think we've met (?)
          If in doubt don't drink.
          Take a pack of AF beers, cranberry juice and already mixed water with slices of ginger and lemon.
          You'll feel so much better for it in the morning as well as giving your body a well deserved break from AL:-)
          "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

          Comment

            #6
            Moderating and mad about it

            Thank you Ronnie, DeeBee and Bossman for your advice and honesty. It might have seemed simple to you but honestly the idea really wasn't an option to me. That is how screwed up my thinking is!

            What is funny is once I decided to take your advice, a huge relief came over me. I don't have to "risk" the outcome of the evening by flirting with Al. It won't be easy but knowing I don't have to worry is huge.

            And Ronnie, to your point about moderation...I am starting to come to terms with the fact that alcohol free is the only choice for me. I am just dragging my feet...probably prolonging the agony.


            Thanks again...have a great day!

            Comment

              #7
              Moderating and mad about it

              LM, I think a huge number of people come here hoping to be able to 'go back' to drinking normally. Scientific studies say that if you have truly crossed a line with your drinking (and this is oversimplifying it) it is impossible to drink 'normally'. BTW, the medical community agrees that more than ONE drink per day for a woman is dangerous (long list of medical ailments). All that aside, once we get over that HUGE hump, and decide just not to drink, it suddenly becomes SO clear, and I bet you can find all kinds of uses for that extra time.
              sigpic
              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

              Comment

                #8
                Moderating and mad about it

                Hi LuckyMom,

                I can't add anything better to the advice that DeeBee, Ronnie, and Bossman gave about the AF party, but I did want to say that I'm completely with you about the gloominess. A couple of thoughts - some from the last week, others just from reading your post and once again seeing myself:

                Moderating is exhausting. Deciding that it (the day, the week, one's life) will be AF suddenly takes care of it. A slip is a slip, but then we climb back up on the horse and start again. But taking each day and having to think - to drink or not to drink; only one? when shall I have it? or maybe I shouldn't 'cos then I can drink tomorrow; how much if I'm at a party? what about a dinner party? Yes, exhausting, which is itself kind of depressing because it's so wearing.

                The other thoughts are about feeling, troubles, and just dealing with life. I spent two weeks feeling euphoric that I'd finally taken control of my drinking problem. But then this week I seem to have been constantly reminded that I have other problems and although drinking less solves that one problem, it doesn't make my life perfect. But now I can't deal with these other things by drinking, so that makes me down. And it's not just the AL itself, it's the dissolution of a whole bunch of little rituals that all included a glass of wine. It is truly having part of your life taken away.

                I don't know if this is helpful at all, but I guess I'm just saying, yeah - I relate!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Moderating and mad about it

                  Naughty Daughter

                  Hi Lucky Mom,
                  I tried to moderate at a party for my Dad last week.
                  Started off with a coke, ended up with 2 bottles of red on my tab and the bartender telling me they wouldn't give me another glass.
                  At my PARENTS!! party!
                  And I'm 39.
                  Horrified.
                  I haven't had a single drink since- been a horrible week- mood swings, insecurity, hopelessness and wacky horrible nightmares when I do get to sleep.... AND I only drank wine in the evenings.
                  This is not easy.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Moderating and mad about it

                    Thank you for sharing your story with me. The party is tomorrow and it is a good reminder what a slippery slope it is when you open the door just a crack. I am ready with my excuses and al-free drinks and am looking forward to focusing on the people, giving them my full attention for a change. I know it won't be easy but for some reason I feel strong and am looking forward to it. I will commit to reporting back - it will help me be accountable for my actions. Thanks for being there. I wish you luck. It sounds like this impacted you and hopfully some good will come of it.

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