need family support!

[sparrow]

Hi everyone,
First let me say that I'm still not drinking, but I feel like things are coming unglued. I just got off the phone with my son in another state who told me he has relapsed on his drinking.mI have been through hell with this kid. He suffers from bi-polar disorder and addiction. He is always up and down lol. I told him he has to get back on his meds and go to his sponsor, keep his job and get his act together. i told him he can drink if he wants to, but I will not sheild him from the consequences of his actions. I also told him that I quit drinknig. He doesn't consider me an alcoholic. I told him I was on the way and that drinking doesn't solve any of my problems. Stiil I am so sad and stressed.
Problem no.2 and a bigger one is my dad who went up north for the summer and is evidently drinking like a fish and taking zxynax. My brother and I are actually getting calls from neighbors and relatives about his problem. He crashed his car and drove away, my brother went to him and said he looks like hell.
The scary part is that my mom lives with him and she is in bad health and has alzheimers. He will not go to any support groups, assisted iving etc. he is very stubborn. I far that he is really out of controll.
Mt daughters were supposed to go visit in 2 weeks. but I changed plans and are sending them to stay wih my brother and sister-in-law. I fear this will cause a confrontion, but oh well. I'm working on these problems but I sure wish I didn't have to.
Thanks for listening I just needed you guy's support.
Sparrow

[ronnie]

need family support!

Hi Sparrow,
First of all, I would like to say Well Done for not drinking through this worrying time....
I think its a good idea for your daughters to stay else where, would it be a good idea to get some home help for your mum?
Its always a problem when you are trying to get yourself sorted out in life and trying to sort others peoples out as well, Personaly I think you should concentrate on yourself and let the rest of your family sort thiers, they might even follow in your footsteps if they see you doing so well....
Im afraid I am not much help as my boys are too young to drink and my Mum saw sense over 20 years ago and stopped drinking. But I really think YOU should put yourself first.
Good luck

[Gold]

need family support!

Hi Sparrow,

I think Ronnie's right, put yourself first it's the only way for you to be strong, it's difficult to help people if you are weakened.

My sister has bi-polar and quite honestly her behaviour has been awful to other family members, she doesn't take medication, refuses to accept help and is currently in emergency accommodation. It must be infinitely worse when it is your child who is suffering. I know with my sister any sort of help was seen as an attempt to control her so she has to find her own way out of her difficulties harsh though that may sound.

That's a good plan to keep your daughters away from your parents just now.

It sounds as though your father is definitely out of control in his behaviour, perhaps too he is frightened by your mother's Altzheimer's. I know my father was drinking to a very high level when his partner had Altzheimer's.

I don't know what sort of services are available where you are and if there is any third party help you could get for your parents. I personally found with my parents when they were ill that detaching myself from the situation helped enormously, it doesn't mean you don't care it just enables you to be more objective about the situation.

Your immediate priorities are you and your daughters.

Family's can be difficult things!

I wish you strength and courage.