Struggling? I hope this helps

[newjoe]

Yesterday I posted here about how one day I just stopped drinking myself to death. (see my post about ?61 days? if you like) and I received some e-mails asking me how I did that and how can they do that. So I?m gonna share some more stuff with you.
I took a good look at myself and my life and I asked ?where do I go from here?? I could continue to drink, and stay in the same rut or I can make changes. I pictured myself healthy and happy. I changed my beliefs that I needed alcohol to live, to I?m gonna die if I keep drinking. I hated how miserable my life had become and how much worse it would be if I kept going the way I was. I hated the shape I was in. I hated my emotions.
One day (now 62 days ago) I just said ?I can?t do this any more.? I made a choice to love myself and to take care of me. As I said in my last post I am NOT a religious man, but I made a command to God (source, creator, all that is, etc.) to take this from me. The only faith I had was the faith in ME. I knew I was in control of my life. Now I?m sober, I feel great and I?m in the best shape I?ve ever been in (OOHH if my EX could see me now! HAH)
So I want to tell you this: with all due respect to AA, who saved millions, please don?t tell yourself that you are powerless over any thing in your life. YOU are the only one who does have any power over you. The only power you have is the power to make choices, the power to change your beliefs, the power to love and nurture yourself.
Instead of telling yourself that you?re powerless, tell yourself that ?I AM free, I AM in control? say that a few times, right now, and notice how much better you feel. Say that often, over and over again until you actually believe it. It IS our beliefs that shape our lives. Imagine (meaning to Image) yourself being free, taking care of and loving yourself. Imagine feeling the way you want to feel. All you need is the ?want? to feel good, it?s a good place to start. Nothing in your life has any more meaning, or importance, other than what you give it.
Once you decide to be good to yourself, accept it and don?t give it a 2nd thought. Just know that taking care of yourself is the way you are and you won?t have to struggle with the anxiety of ?drinking, not drinking.? It?s like once you decide to get dressed and go to work, you don?t keep thinking ?go to work naked or not naked.? The decision has been made and that?s it. (if you really need to be naked all the time, we gotta talk). Any way, I decided to stop killing myself and to take care of myself, the rest came effortlessly. If I had to rely on willpower I wouldn?t stand a chance. In my opinion willpower is forcing yourself to go against a belief that you have about something. So I used eagerness, I couldn?t wait to feel better, to have the body that I wanted, to be free to be good to me. And now I am eager to be of any help I can to any one.
So I was asked to post on here again. I hope it helped, if not, it kept me busy for a while. So I?ll stop rambling and I?ll leave you with this: look in the mirror and ask yourself ?Who do I want to be?? Notice how good you feel when you get the answer, then just be?
Love and light to you.

[startingover]

Struggling? I hope this helps

I totally believe in the power of positive thought. It helps me to be who I want to be.
Nice post Joe.

[TakeHeart]

Struggling? I hope this helps

Thanks for the post Joe!

I have been AF only 10 days and although I won't drink, it has been a struggle at times not to do so. Your post has given me a different way to look at things. I can't wait to get back into killer shape and lead a healthy life. My BF just told me yesterday that I looked great and my face didn't seem so puffy.

However...maybe you can help me with this....Although I know I am so much better without drinking myself to death. And I know what havoc AL was causing me. And I know alcohol is a poison and any right minded person shouldn't want to pour poison down their throats. Then why do I still miss it? I miss that happy, relaxed buzz I got...just before I poured the next glass of wine that took me to the place I don't want to go. Any thoughts?

[TranqWilly]

Struggling? I hope this helps

TakeHeart,

That question "Why do we miss it?" is the very question that always held me back from taking the first step toward dealing with the problem. I have been searching for a couple years to try to understand 'What replaces that feeling?'. I've never found any real answers that didn't involve knitting or such... Although I've never tried knitting, I run and exercise, I've tried yoga and meditation, but guess what? No buzz. No "natural high". I guess you just have to get used to just feeling the same, or feeling nothing all the time.

Maybe there is no answer.

[LilBit]

Struggling? I hope this helps

TranqWilly;677647 wrote: That question "Why do we miss it?" is the very question that always held me back from taking the first step toward dealing with the problem. I have been searching for a couple years to try to understand 'What replaces that feeling?'

Take and Tranq, so many of us ask that question. If there was nothing we perceived as good about AL, we'd all find it easy to quit immediately. Yes, there is a certain high you may get, a "happy relaxed buzz," -- BUT, let's break it down. How long does that "happy relaxed buzz" really last? If you've been drinking a while, it's not long before the high is replaced with a dull, dissatisfied craving for another drink. And you end up spending most of your day and night in that feeling, rather than the happy, relaxed buzz (and then, of course, you suffer the consequences). I;m not saying this very well, but what I mean is that we give up 99% of our day for the 1%. Not a good bargain.

For what it's worth, I really do get a better "buzz" from at least 20 minutes of vigorous aerobic exercise.

[TranqWilly]

Struggling? I hope this helps

I hear ya LilBit, I wouldn't be here if I didn't "think" there was something better on the other side. I guess it's impossible to say in direct terms what the "payoffs" are since so many things that feel good in life are intangible, or we take them for granted.

Good point about exercise. For me, I don't really enjoy exercise per se, I think it's hard work. But I do enjoy the results in terms of strength and endurance. And I certainly appreciate the days when I feel full of energy and ready to workout instead of hung-over and blowing-off another workout or too drunk to even think about it. So perhaps opening the doors to the options and freedom to make choices that leads to the potential for other good things to happen.

Thanks for the insight.

[TakeHeart]

Struggling? I hope this helps

I agree that life will probably be better not drinking. I'm still in the early stages (only 12 days AF) and I really thought this ray of sunshine was going to blast down on me and I was going to feel better than ever! I am trying to keep a positive attitude and appreciate all the food for thought, thanks Tranq and LilBit. And thanks for the PM, NewJoe. I like to exercise, but don't get that runner's high.

Sorry to be Debbie Downer. I'm just in a bit of a funk right now and really feel like going to the store for a bottle of wine. Funny because a friend who is also trying to stop drinking called last night to tell me she had fallen of the wagon and I was the cheerleader and was doing so with sincerity. So hopefully what I'm feeling now will pass, too.