im so embarrassed

[MissMerlot]

:upset:
i start day one again tomorrow.
it's my partners 50th birthday today and i didn't call or text him to wish him happy birthday.he will know i've been drinking.
have been drinking cider,don't want to risk a seizure again..
hate this path i'm on...

[RedThread12]

im so embarrassed

Hi Annie: The way I can remember the date I stopped drinking is that it was four days after my partner's birthday that passed me by completely because I was completely passed out. It didn't even occur to me that it had been his birthday until a couple of days later. It really affected me - I felt so stupid that I finally got myself to an AA meeting and got sober. (I didn't know about this board or supps or meds - it was a desperate attempt to get help and it worked). My heart goes out to you, really, because I know that you must be struggling and I know what that feels like. I'll send a special prayer that you find your way out - can't imagine a better b-day present for him, even if it takes a while!!

[Boss.man]

im so embarrassed

Oh! Been there. For me it was a thinly kept secret. They all knew anyway. The worst thing is the AL made me emotionally unstable, even when I was sober.

Time to come onboard Annie. You have to solve it yourself, but we're here to help you know what works for us. Maybe that will help and then you can make it up to him soon.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

im so embarrassed

Annie, this date, these feelings, this missing out, use them to turn it around and beat AL.
Start tomorrow and take the important first step, there are a lot of people here who will be by your side. You can do this if you really want it, you need to get out of this cycle. I wish you strength.
Keep safe
KTAB

[Popeye]

im so embarrassed

Hi anniemac,
Yep!
You can turn this around.
Break the cycle.
There is so much goodness and joy in all of us that drink just seems to wash away. It's still there though, waiting for you.
Go and get it.

[Lavande]

im so embarrassed

anniemac,

Sorry you are in such a bad way but use this to your advantage - make this the absolute lowest you will go! There is no way but up from here!!!
Make your commitment here and now to beat AL.
You can do it!
We're all here with you!

[Guest]

im so embarrassed

Annie,
Opal had a wonderful suggestion. Read back over your posts. You will become aware of how a slip takes us down an into emotional pit. We cannot think clearly. Everything looks so dark. We have to forgive ourselves at times even when we think no one else will, just so we can climb out of that pit and live again AF.
Keep coming back! We will all help each other.

[gyco]

im so embarrassed

hi ann,believe weve all been in your position,its not fun,all start the next day,thats a start,i want to have fun tonite,last time,if that is the case and you do drink,as your trying to stop tomorrow , try to limit yourself tonite,glass of water,1 drink,2 glasses of water 1 drink,3 glasses of water and after that 3rd water ,if you can get the next drink down,well thats up to you,it does work,mind over water,kind of like giving yourself a laxative,you cant get to the bathroom enuff,i do wish you well gyco

[Zeppie2]

im so embarrassed

Hi Anniemac, I'm sure all of us here have done some horrible things while drinking. I know I have, my worst day was Halloween 2007 when I was so drunk I didn't even realise my little dog had died in her sleep, I didn't find her for at least 12 hours later. We have all said things we didn't mean, done things we shouldn't have, the whole point is it is your chance to change, the people who love you will forgive you no matter what you have done if you can show them the new (or old) you.
You have come to the right place to start again, we all know what you have been through and we can help you along the way.

[startingover]

im so embarrassed

Hi Annie, dont be embarrassed, be determined!
Like the others have said, we have all done dreadful things while under the influence, and its those things or the memory of them that help to keep us on the straight and narrow.
I wrote about my last binge, I read it from time to time. It really helps.
how are you feeling today?

[MissMerlot]

im so embarrassed

Thanks to you all...

Your posts have been a pleasure to read this morning.
Slightly hungover but water is my drink of choice today.
I thought i could moderate and after going 9 days af i chose to drink 'at the weekend'.
Didn't stop till today.
I don't think modding is for me.
No drink or all drink.
Thanks again for your kind posts.
I know i can do this,i don't have another option...

hugs & love

annie
xx

[gyco]

im so embarrassed

Ann one of the oddest things you ll find in not drinking or as i described when your drinking the water,and the others are pounding them back,if tht is what they do,if there happens to be one who is out of sorts,it will be your time to notice,the shoe will be on the other foot,you mt like it,you mt even find it works,sobriety to us is a hole different world,again i wish you well

[gyco]

im so embarrassed

have a good weekend like super man hahaha others need words of incouragement hehehe

[Anjicia]

im so embarrassed

Hi Annie i've been there so many times thinking oh i'll just have a few at the weekend and then be af during the week but it rarely works. Weekend goes then monday etc and before i know it i'm back to square one. I'm on day 3 so best of luck hun you can do it again. Its a bank holiday weekend here too so its gonna be a tough one for me. :mad-door:eeky: