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    #1

    Telling Friends

    Just thought I would share an experience I had today. I woke up in the worst way. Hungover again, after finishing up a bottle of vodka I had in the house. I must remember that I cannot have alcohol in the house. I guess I had forgot.

    Anyways, so yesterday I polished off that bottle, and this morning was the usual Hell I go through. Today was particularly bad (not sure why) but I was feeling really panicky all morning, that kind of panic you just dread and would do anything to have it go away.

    In the middle of my panicking, a friend I have had for about 4 years called me. I felt I needed to talk to someone. My friend has no idea of my issues with alcohol, not many people do, I guess I am somewhat good at covering it up.

    So she asks me how I am doing, and I lost it. Started crying uncontrollably. Remember my girlfriend has absolutely NO idea of my drinking problems. She asked me whats wrong? I just blurted it ALL out. Everything. Everything.

    She was very supportive. I think this was a good step. It was not very long after that I started feeling better.

    It may have been a small step, but it seems like it was a good one. Im feeling this could be a positive step for me. Besides you guys, I keep all this shit bottled up inside. Its Hell. Im realizing I need to ask for help. Guys, we cannot do this alone. :l
    I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!
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    #2
    Telling Friends

    I agree Overit, this place and the people here are fantastic but it is something extra to have someone close to you that you can confide in face to face. Good for you having the courage to tell her.
    Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

    Comment

      #3
      Telling Friends

      Thanks Oney,

      It was a very strange moment. The words just couldnt come out. Finally I just said it out loud. I said "I have a very very serious drinking problem, and I am getting scared"

      Its true. I am a point where I am getting scared. I want to be a success and not a failure at this. Its the only area of my life that sucks. I have to fix it, I have to. Im honestly getting the feeling that my LIFE depends on it. Thats a scary feeling. This is just not fun anymore.

      Well, I cannot take it back, now my friend knows. For those of you who keep it all bottled up in you like I do, you might want to follow in my steps. Tell someone you trust and who cares about you. It cannot hurt and just might be a big help.

      Love,

      Overit


      Thanks KTAB. It honestly was not courage, it was fear. Im at a point where I fear if I do not change, something bad is going to happen. I just pray this is the turning point for me.
      I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

      Comment

        #4
        Telling Friends

        Thanks so much Oney. Yes, this has to be the turning point. I appreciate the email offer.

        Did you know me and Savon19 live just a few miles away from each other? Go figure huh. Its great having Savon as a close friend too. We can be completely honest about these issues to each other. It certainly helps.
        I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

        Comment

          #5
          Telling Friends

          Yeah! Isnt that crazy? I noticed she lived in Florida, and I pm'd her to ask her where, and she lives just miles away. We spent 4th of July together (AF of course!!) Small world Huh???
          I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

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            #6
            Telling Friends

            I admire your courage Overit. Good going!
            When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
            -- Franklin D Roosevelt --

            Comment

              #7
              Telling Friends

              I am very jealous as only a couple of my friends have a clue about me and my past. It must be lovely to be able to be totally open and honest. I still have to lie to my parents and friends if I slip up, when all I want to do is ask for more help.

              Really good step to take Overit - it must feel like somewhat of a relief. I hope this means you can move on.
              Recovery Coaching website

              "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

              Recovery Videos

              Comment

                #8
                Telling Friends

                Overit.... :l

                That is great. Not about the panic, and the fear, of course....

                But actually I have come to think the following:

                Without FEAR there is no change.......otherwise we would stand still for quite a while.

                and since you had been trying the same stuff but getting the same result, then a bit of fear in this case maybe wasn't a bad thing. See it as the fuel to fire up the change for you.

                We are here for you...I know it's scary, but new territory often is. And new territory can still be good, better than where you have been.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Telling Friends

                  Thanks Scrubby,

                  I agree, some fear is good for sure. We need to be afraid of this. What I hate about alcoholism the most is how that fear goes away. If i was always so afraid of it, like I am now, I would never touch a drop of it again. But the fear goes away in time, and then you may think you were over reacting or whatever.

                  How do you keep the fear? Thats an interesting question, maybe I should make a new thread about that.
                  I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Telling Friends

                    I would love you to start a thread about that - that's my old problem. I sometimes wish I had a video of me in withdrawal or a tattoo on my forehead!
                    Recovery Coaching website

                    "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

                    Recovery Videos

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Telling Friends

                      Kimberly, I am sorry, I just read your previous message. I must have over looked it.

                      Kimberly, I pray to God this can be a turning point. Cant you tell any of your friends about this? They may be more supportive than you know.

                      I felt bad telling my girlfriend because she comes from a family of alcoholics but she is not one. I know she hates alcohol. But damnit! I didnt ask for this disease. We need help and support.

                      Im so convinced we cannot do this alone. More than ever.

                      I have thought about getting a DO NOT DRINK!!! Tattoo on my arm. SERIOUSLY!!

                      Sending you a hug,

                      Overit
                      I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Telling Friends

                        Thanks for the hug, OverIt

                        I think it might be more accurate to say that my friends don't talk about it with me. They saw me drinking lots and now see that I only drink coke down the pub. So they kind of do know, but still aren't able to offer me proper support as we just don't talk about it. And I can't tell people if I slip up due to my current job.

                        Good job I've got you lot really!
                        Recovery Coaching website

                        "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

                        Recovery Videos

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Telling Friends

                          Congratulations Overit!!!! :goodjob: It isn't easy to tell anyone and it isn't easy to keep hiding it from everyone. I know!!!!
                          "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                          ..........
                          AF - 7-27-15

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Telling Friends

                            Overit-

                            You are so lucky that Savon lives near bye and you can spend time together. My biggest problem with kicking my AL habit is feeling lonely in the struggle. I cannot imagine going to an AA meeting in this city. I might see someone I know! I have not told anyone except my BF and sister about my problem. And they don't seem to get it. When I have attempted to talk to them in the past they don't know what to say. The last conversation with my sister was me talking and her saying "thats great" and then silence. My BF doesn't get it either. Jeez, I know PLENTY of drunks but no one who is ready to give it up. Well this time I am ready!

                            I hope you will start that thread about staying fearful. There was a thread "help scare me/us straight" that had a similar theme a while back. But I need to be reminded daily so I can pass the liquor store by. Take care
                            Liath

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Telling Friends

                              Hey Liath! I think it was just yesterday that we both were on here complaining of our hangovers! Look how long I stayed sober! Damn, this is getting old!!!

                              I think I will start a how do you stay fearful post. Maybe some of the old timers can help us newbies along.

                              I wish I could say I was helping Savon more, but it is nice to have a voice to talk with that understands this shit we go through. Shes a strong lady though. Stronger than me I think.

                              I hope things start going better for you/us. Like I said before, thank God for this site!!! :l
                              I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

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