Confused, Angry and what the f?

[TakeHeart]

My apologizies upfront.

I know I have a drinking problem. I have admitted to having a drinking problem. I am trying to do something about my drinking problem.....

And, I was successful, atleast w/o drinking for 12 days.

Then...I was completely frustrated with the results. Mostly that I didn't lose weight. I was eating MUCH healthier (minus a couple of sweet splurges) and had starting working out again...5 X per week and the sweat (though not a big sweater) rolled off me....I lost 2 lbs and in a day, gained one back. I mean surely, 2+ bottles of wine per night is a 1000 calorie savings!!!! Almost 2 weeks and only 1 lb to show for it!!! PLUS I was eating small meals every 2-3 hours so my body didn't think it was starving.

And then there's my BF, he is supportive to a degree. However...we went out over the weekend and he pretty much made a scene with our waitor to take the wine list off the table. He knew I wasn't drinking, but almost made a scene in getting the waitors attention to come back and remove the wine MENU!!!! And he doesn't have a problem with alcohol. He usually has one drink. However, when I was drinking, he wouldn't have anything at all. Now i don't drink....he always wants his one. Why can't he be like he used to and not drink at all??? He says he's supportive, and he just only has one, but why even the one????

This is a long rant...apologies....

I quit drinking and thought if there was nothing else I could do to change my life, giving up drinking would have the most impact. However, since I've not drank...I don't feel any better (never had hangovers, although I should have), haven't lost weight, and I thought I would open channels of goodness to pour into my life. Truth is, have had a couple of "bad" financial things cross my path since then. AND, most catastrophically, my car engine died.

And, my BF has loaned me his car yesterday and today. He knows I have out of town clients I need to take around tomorrow...So when does he schedule a routine blood test that he's been wanting to do for almost a year????? Well. he scheduled that TODAY for TOMORROW! Is he being an ass or does someone have a different angle I need to see?

As far as me...I have had a couple of drinks the last few days. Nothing over 3 which is barely a buzzz for me. I just poured a drink (1 so far) from my BF's vodka bottle. I know he'll notice. I'm just so mad about the timing of getting routine bloodwork done on the last day I'd need his car. I mean he's put it off for 12 months and he knows I need his car tomorrow and he makes it for then????

Everyone who has gotten here...sorry for the rant...thanks millions and God Bless

[TakeHeart]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

Ahhh Man!

So pissed I even took anything out of the vodka bottle. 1) not even enough to get me buzzzed 2) Enough to certainly be noticed.

Don't want to go replenish the bottle because 1) I have a hrad time throwing the "extra" down the drain and would feel compeled to drink the rest and 2) Money!! I have a little black cloud over my head ( and I usually think of myself as blessed) that is pouring every PENNY out of me left and right and from places i didn't even know existed!!!

[LilBit]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

First of all, hugs TH :l:l:l, I'm so sorry for your frustration, and for everything that's happened since you went AF for 12 days. I unfortunately don't have the answers, but I can really commiserate with you.

Something's definitely UP with your BF. I wonder if your quitting AL scares him in some way, and possibly he can't own up to it. It sure looks like he's sabotaging your efforts from where I sit. I know what it's like to have a BF who's less-than-supportive in this all-out war. It s_cks! Many times, what's underlying it is that they're afraid we'll get well & sober, and realize we can do much better without them. Hmmm....

As for the weight loss, I'm on Day 89, and did not have the drastic weight reduction that I expected, especially since I work out 6 days/wk and follow a very healthy, low-cal, low-fat diet. Maybe it takes time (from reading others' posts, sometimes as long as a year). BUT even without the weight loss -- which was a big motivation for me in the beginning -- I can say that it was unequivocally worth the effort to quit the AL!!! It radically changed my life, and I am never going back.

Please hang in there. Take a breath, gather your strength, and go at it again. And, tell yourself that the BF can do what he likes -- ultimately it's your life and your body at stake!

:h

Lil

[42cat]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

Hi ...

I drank a quart of hard liquor a day ... C.A.L.O.R.I.E.S. !!! .... I didn't see much of a weight reduction ... I'm slowly working it down, but I thought it would come off easily. *sigh*

As for your BF ... Maybe he's afraid of "change" and where that change might lead ... And maybe he doesn't even realize it? ... Or maybe he's being a jerk on purpose (hopefully not).

I agree with Lil .. in that it's Your life .. your choice .. your thing. Do it with or without him .. Don't let his actions have any effect on your plan. He has a life, and so do you. Go ahead with yours and make yourself happy. Hopefully he'll come along for the ride!

[me1455]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

hey, i didnt lose weight either like i thought i would. weird right? i can tell you one thing-when your drinking two wines everynight, or even one, you lose weight on the scale.. maybe a few pounds. it dehydrates you and causes water loss. therefore, when you stopped drinking you slowly increased your water in your body causing weight gain on the scale. meaning you really did lose about four or five poudns. understand what im saying? its just the scale...

anyway, as far as your bf, not sure why he did that, i assume just not thinking?

about the two small meals every two hours. for a person to lose weight they should eat approximately 1200-1700 calories, depending on your weight and height. if your eating small meals every two to three hours, it would proably be 200 calories, which is little, that goes over 1700 calories....

[Boss.man]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

Hey! Don't go after that bottle. Don't replace, don't draw, just leave it.

Men are just strange. Maybe it's just that partners are strange. It's a mistake to try to decode them into some form of logic. But you can use that to advantage. Just push illogic back in that direction.

Keep to your own path. Make your steps in your own direction. If your BF is worthwhile, he'll follow - eventually.

[Gold]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

Hi TakeHeart,

I sympathise, it is frustrating when despite our best efforts the results we would like do not happen.

I agree with me1455 the scales are just that a scale, they don't tell the true story, inches are a truer guide.

I think Lilbit is right, something's up with the BF, he doesn't feel comfortable with your positive changes. He probably doesn't even know why himself, just an uncomfortable feeling he has.

When I've given up drinking in the past to lose weight or to improve my life in some other way related to circumstances or relationships, it has not been successful for any significant length of time. This time I am doing it for myself, after 10 days I am only just beginning to see a couple of pounds drop, my head still feels a bit foggy, and I too had a financial set back yesterday. The difference this time is that for me this is a long game, I'm seeing the small improvements and noting them, and I know that nothing can EVER be better with AL in my life.

Put yourself first, look after yourself and try to see these setbacks as having something to tell you rather than being something working against you. Everything happens for a reason, I truly believe this.

[TakeHeart]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

Thanks so much for the the advice, insights, support, etc, etc....

I am back "on the wagon" and will try to not pay too much attention to the scale.

Interesting comments about the BF. I do believe he doesn't want me to drink as much as I was, however he does hate change.

Thanks again for letting me vent...

[lukalee]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

The early days of sobriety needs to be about that: sobriety. Don't be worried about the scale, your boyfriend, the food you eat, or anything else. The most important thing is not drinking today. If I feel like eating a gallon of ice cream, I am going to eat a gallon of ice cream. Whatever gets me through the day. Our sobriety is like a new born baby; you have to be tender and not over stimulate. When the baby (sobriety) get older, you can start introducing new things.
I say don't drink for 30 days and THEN get on the scale, and that will be your starting point.

[brightlite]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

Hi Takeheart,

BF sounds a little bit like he is playing games. Not sure, because I'm not there. Could be there is a little bit of insecurity on his part when you stopped drinking. In any case, talk to him, tell him what bothers you, tell him how much you would appreciate his support and what he could do to help you. Hang in there, we all run into rough patches sometimes.

[Elpis]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

I think that sometimes our significant others just don’t know what to do.

[TakeHeart]

Confused, Angry and what the f?

Yeah, I don't think my BF is trying to be malicious, but maybe just frustrated....I"m still not sure.

Lukalee, i love the idea of not looking at the scale for a month (I weigh myself every morning). But, I agree...sobriety first.

Thanks again all!