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    New to MWO.

    Looks like a nice place. I, like so many of you, have struggled with alcohol for years. What used to be great fun and a somewhat harmless part of my social M.O. has morphed into a life I am not proud of.

    Vodka was my drink of choice and after an ultimatatum from my wife, I quite the hard stuff cold turkey. I went to counseling which helped, but I decided I could manage wine. That was something we both enjoyed and could go to winery tours around the region with friends and have a great time.

    I'm someone who has good will power deep inside, but I am a master at justification. What started out as a glass or two of wine on ocassion, has blossomed dangerously into binge drinking on the weekends, and even worse, keeping it secret.

    So here I am, quite ready to get off this train. I'm not sure what's consuming me more, the guilt or the evil anxiety/panic attacks and mild/moderate withdrawls I experience for days after a bender.

    I honestly can't say I'm ready to abstain from wine for good. I just want to stop the binge drinking behaviour. Or maybe I'm simply fooling myself as I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person.

    I'm taking Lorazapam for the anxiety. It definitely helps calm my nervous system. I don't tend to get the shakes, I do get night sweats on ocassion. I don't drink at all during the week, your typical Weekend Warrior. Problem is, instead of drinking one night over the weekend, I stretch it out Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Then the week hits and the anxiety begins.

    How does one know if they need to detox after a bender? I've never detoxed medically (other than my anxiety meds at home, lots of water, vitamins and waiting out the storm)...I don't seem to have any of the severe withdrawl symptoms. It always subsides after the third day of sobriety.

    Well thank you for listening. I suspect I will be finding this community of tremendous help.

    #2
    New to MWO.

    Welcome Zeta
    Thanks for sharing. There are lots of us in the same boat. I am currently on my 5TH AF day. It's been awhile since I strung 5 together in a row. I think you will find the MWO book helpful, which is a quick read and you can download from the health store.
    I am sure you will receive lots of support on the boards. There is a thread specifically for newbies called Newbies Nest, you might want to check that out.
    :welcome:
    Wally22:confusedmonkey::confusedmonkey::confusedmo nkey:
    If I don't want to brag but I can still wear the earings I wore in highschool
    November 2, 2012

    Comment


      #3
      New to MWO.

      Hey Zeta, WELCOME!

      You have come to the right place to loads of support, inspiration and information.
      As you have said yourself, you are binge drinking some weekends, keeping some drinking secret and suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. All together good reasons to take a serious look at how and why you are drinking and perhaps consider having a period of abstinence and/or eventually giving up altogether.
      I say 'eventually' because you may find you can moderate successfully, or you may find that after a little trial and error, your justifications may keep you in an unhealthy pattern of consumption. Either way, stay close to the boards and use this wonderful supportive resource.
      I am taking Baclofen to reduce my cravings (it is working unbelievably well) and it has also dramatically reduced my anxiety. Have only a couple of weeks plus of sobriety, but I feel great.
      Looking forward to seeing you around.
      Best wishes
      Amelia
      Amelia

      Sober since 30/06/10

      Comment


        #4
        New to MWO.

        Thanks for the warm welcome. I was so ignorant to the accumulative effects of excessive drinking over long periods I didn't even know what withdrawals were when I was going through them. Because of my ignorance, I would drink because it was the only time I felt okay not realizing drinking was the cause!

        There will definitely need to be some therapy to help me get to the bottom of why I am doing what I am doing. I have a beautiful wife and daughter and I'm flirting with throwing that all away with each period of overdrinking.

        I was recently watching a TV program with Kelsey Grammer and when he was discussing his battle with alcoholism he said something to the effect of, "I believe most addiction stems from unresolved grief." That statement really hit home with me as I suspect I have not properly grieved over the tragedies in my life.

        I'm not sure anything could get me to stop drinking for good but divorce and health. And since I've had health issues due to my overdrinking over the past two years, that may just be my best way out. Losing my life/health is a powerful motivator so I'll have to use that as my primary weapon.

        My post binge symptoms are clearly telling me to stop doing what I am doing. My final battle seems to be with that part of your brain that tells you (once your anxiety/withdrawl symptoms have subsided, usually by Thursday) "Ah, that wasn't so bad! You feel great now. Let's get our drink on!"

        Comment


          #5
          New to MWO.

          Sending a big Alaskan Welcome to you. This place is awesome. Alot to be learned and alot of wonderfully supportive people. Stay close, read up and let us know how you are doing.

          Good luck as you start your journey.
          :l
          Ak
          :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

          Comment


            #6
            New to MWO.

            :welcome: zeta hope you be around here for a while


            :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

            Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
            I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

            This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

            Comment


              #7
              New to MWO.

              Zeta-

              Welcome to MWO. I hope you will stick around and get to know us better. I too have dealt with anxiety which I believe goes hand and hand with the drinking. I suggest that you read up on the effects of drinking, download the book and make a plan. Good luck!
              Liath

              Comment


                #8
                New to MWO.

                Hello Zeta and welcome. It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought, well done on taking the first step and posting here. This is a great place full of people who have all had our own issues with alcohol and understand only too well what it is like. We try to be here for each other and give non-judgmental support, help and advise.May I suggest you download the MWO book and read it, it will help you to formulate a plan that will work for you. Stick close to the boards and keep posting.
                Keep safe
                KTAB
                Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

                Comment

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