30 day commitment.. who's in?

[Liath]

Well Liath has finally had enough. Until now I have avoided these 30 day threads like the plague knowing that I could never follow through. It seems like such a LONG time.

Last night I made a commitment to a concerned MWO member to go 30 days AF. As I am typing this I am getting emotional because this is a huge challenge for me. I am on day 2 and looking for support and/or others who are willing to start around now for a month AF. I have made it 12 days twice this year, but its not good enough. Last weekend's binge has left me feeling sick and frightened. I tried to jump into moderating too fast and I failed, I failed miserably. Time for the real deal.

Right now I feel anxious and queezy about this but also determined. Imagine how much better I will feel if I can accomplish this? Just in time since I am applying to grad schools this fall. I feel like this is it-- do I chose drinking or do I chose life?

LIFE, seriously, is my choice! Thanks for listening. I am a mess right now. I think I am in withdrawl. Gross..:upset:

[Cinders]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Liath,

I will jump in with you. Feet first.

I have been able to stay AF for a while but trust me, I still do it one day at a time, even with the medication I am taking to help me. I still get those, "oh, one glass would be so nice" thoughts.

Hah. I can't even remember the last time I drank one of anything and more importantly, I maybe could do it for a couple of days but in no time, I would be back to my crazy 1 - 2 fifths of vodka a day.

I am committed to AF for a lifetime because I, too, choose life.

But, I do have to do it ODAT.

Trust me, if I can get 30 days under my belt, anyone can. So here's to your day two.

Cindi

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

ME, ME, ME! How weird that we're on the same day again Liath! This time I hope we will be congratulating each other on the 30th day as well. I think this is a goal that both you and I can do.

Thanks Cindi, it's great to have your support

[sparkleAZ]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Can I do this? 30 days AF? I'm not sure but I certainlly will give it a try.

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

You CAN do it sparkle. Just tell yourself WHATEVER else happens, you will do your 30 days AF - just as an experiment to see how good you will feel, if you like. Tell yourself if you really want to have a drink after the 30 days you can, but NOT before. I am committed to doing this.

[SpiritGirl]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Nothing sounds better to me than 30 days AF (well, a lifetime would be better!). Liath, I have just returned to MWO today after having a terrible night last night.... WHY do I keep doing this?? Why is alcohol more important than the precious things in life - spending QUALITY time with my children (not hungover and sluggish), more important than taking care of my HOME, more important than going to work ON TIME (wow, thats a concept!), more important than maintaining my DIGNITY at family/friend functions, more important than working on my FAITH (church on a Saturday night or Sunday morning should NOT be a burden - but with a hangover it is), more important than my HEALTH (the extra weight and red eyes are NOT attractive!).... I can keep going but will stop burdening you with my self pity...

I'm in for 30 days.... I pray I can make it.... Self-doubt and self-loathing keep getting in my way...

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

SpiritGirl 'Self-doubt and self-loathing' are definitely the big killers for my sobriety. The unending guilt has made me return to Al more times than I care to remember.

Lets try and be proud of ourselves each day we do - and how proud we will all be when we have shown ourselves we can do it. And hopefully that will be one step along the way to relieving the shame and guilt.

If you feel weak, come here and post - that is what I will be doing, even if I bore you all stupid! Good luck!

[tlrgs]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

always count me in and just do your best rememeber to come here post how you feel and it will get easier for you with every passing day .. and before you know .. you will have 30 days belt to walk around and say you did it and be proud of what you are doing for YOU

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

:cheering: I'm excited - I want the 30-day belt!

[SpiritGirl]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Kimberly, Sorry that you can relate, but glad to have people that understand how I feel... This is such a lonely problem....

I want the belt too!!

[OverIt2007]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Some of my favorite girls are on this thread! Always love to have a chime in from Cinders, shes so encouraging. Kimberly and Liath, we are on the same day, Day 2, after a pretty bad weekend. As you may or may not know, I had a pretty embaressing mental breakdown on the phone with a friend. Sigh.. Its crossing the line when you start having breakdowns.

Im looking forward to learning more about Spirit girl, we DO seem so much alike too!

We can do this! I KNOW we can if we really want to, and you know where to go to get some encouragement and support. Right Here!

Oh Kool trlgs is here too! And welcome Sparkles!

[lukalee]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

I am in too. Today is day 6; the longest since last July or August. I know I simply cannot drink. I will not drink today, and I will repeat tomorrow.
Thanks for starting this thread.

[Liath]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hi Cinders and tlrgs- Thanks so much for your support. We really do need it.

As for those of us starting out (again) - Lets try and stay positive. And if we can't manage that then we can rant and rave and tear out our hair.. as long as we don't drink for 30 days... right?

Spirit girl- everything in life goes on the back burner for me when I drink. I just FORGET about my life. I just don't care about work or my BF or any of it! How frightening. I can relate to your post completely. Though, I wish it was not so. Stick with us and we will make it.

Kim and Overit- We seem to be caught in the same cycle so lets do whatever it takes to escape. If we keep failing time and time again, we will become completely demoralized. But after 30 days sober we will have proved that there is more to life, that AL is not so important to us after all. We can't let it ruin us!

Lukalee- Your welcome. All of you are part of my motivation. No more days where I count drinks and think "Oops, did I have 4 or 5 drinks? Hmm.. thats not to good if moderation is the goal". Moderation is too hard in the beginning (maybe it will always be too hard) AF is SIMPLE. Just don't drink ODAT for 30 days.

Please everyone.. if you are in, keep posting here. Tell me how you are feeling or if you need a virtual hug. I felt so bad earlier but I think I am done withdrawing. I feel OK. Don't want to suffer through that hell EVER AGAIN.

Kim- Does this spell the end of our "starting over" thread? Maybe we should let it go.. I don't want to keep starting over. I want to succeed this time. What do you think?

Much love,

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Great to have you on here OverIt and Lukalee. I am sure we can all do this with each others' support - I am going to be very single-minded about it! Love your signature, btw SpiritGirl. So true!

I agree Liath - I MUST do this 30 days otherwise I will honestly believe I can never beat it and get demoralized. I am actually excited about doing it now - just need to keep the momentum going. I am very glad you are through the withdrawal.

I also agree - I don't want to keep starting over, so will mainly post on this thread. I will only post on the other thread if someone else needs help on it.

I have already had my first challenge- I put the notice in on my rented house on Friday and my ex is supposed to be coming round this weekend with his dad to fix the floor, but has just told me he can't make it. He says they have to see a sick relative, but I don't even know if that's true.

I got angry and disappointed, but replied sweetly to his message and thought 'At least I know by today, so I can plan something with friends over the weekend. It's not last minute.' I think that is half the battle with your troubles - turning things round to look at the positives, however small they are!

Here's to coping with problems, not blocking them out and only making them worse!

[andaz]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

I really want the one day at a time but want a lifetime of sobriety. Sick of feeling sick. I will be in for 30 days