30 day commitment.. who's in?

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

How brilliant that you have got that support Sparkle - good for you! Catch you all laters I am off to watch the footie!

[Guest]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Liath,
I understand your problem. My husband of 4 years believes it's just a matter of counting drinks and not wanting to be drunk. He will never give up drinking and resents we can't drink together. He keeps alcohol in the house at all times and drinks every night.
If I lived alone, it would not be in the house. I have gone two months and not touched it, but something very stressful or hurtful happens, shoot, it's too handy.
I really don't know what the future holds. I'm frightened, is this going to be what ends our marriage? He drinks heavy weekends and his mood changes so much. Everything seems to make him angry, my not drinking is one of them.
Oh well, I guess time will tell. I'm so thankful it's Sunday. Maybe things will go smoothly till Thursday night when it all begins for him again and he goes back to resenting me.
I'm glad you are getting away for a few days. I used to find some distance cleared my mind and helped me see situations for what they are.
Take care.

[Mtntop]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

The thing I'm maybe, finally, beginning to grasp is that regardless of the triggers and temptations and outside influences (both good and bad) it's really up to each of us in the end. I have made every excuse and rationalization for having a drink (or 6) but the bottom line is that it is me putting alcohol in my system. There are always going to be reasons to drink if you look for them. And, boy, I looked everywhere!
The important thing for us is to stay AF in the face of our circumstances. If I stop to think about all the stress I'm facing right now, I think it would overwhelm me. Sometimes it's a matter of getting through that minute, that hour and we can start building up days. There's enough to deal with in life without piling AL on top of it. We think it is a way to escape things, but in the end it seems to make them worse.

[sunshine_gg]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Liath and Grace....:l

I'm so sorry that you two have no support at home. It would make things so much easier for you. I don't really have any advice or wisdom for you... just wanted to give you a big cyber hug.

Hang in there... it's YOUR sobriety - yours alone.

[OverIt2007]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Good afternoon AF Ladies (?)

Dear Liath,

My BF is very angry with me. He does not want me to quit drinking.. says I am going about it all wrong.. says I only have a problem when I go out and binge with my friends.

Liath KNOWS her own heart and soul. Liath KNOWS when this is becoming a problem for HER, and its up to people who LOVE US to LISTEN to us and when we are trying to be honest and reach out for help and understanding and support.

Anyone who is trying to better themselves and get a big of demon as alcohol off our backs should not have to explain to anyone that YES I HAVE A PROBLEM.

It does seem you are in a difficult situation. Maybe its your boyfriend who is insecure and does not want you to better yourself and therefore end the fun????

Listen to your OWN heart, it will tell you what to do, and who might be wrong for you?

WIshing you strength and insight with this..

But he rarely binges and does not comprehend the hell I go through.

Just wanted to add something.... There are HUGE differences between people who are alcoholic and social drinkers. A WORLD of difference.

[Liath]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Saving Grace, Sparkles, Overit, Sunshine, Mtntop-- THANKS for getting it. We talked and he has agreed that even though he is frustrated and does not understand that he is going to try to be more supportive. Similarly, I have agreed to be more supportive about his financial situation. I told him that we are both looking at these situations selfishly because we are directly affected. But we CAN choose to be kind and understanding in the face of frustration. I feel better! And the hotel bar isn't open on Sunday nights so the temptation should be pretty minimal.

Gotta go now before another storm hits.

Sincerely,

[OverIt2007]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Thats good news! You know whats best for you too.

Keep us posted, I am heading out to spend some good quality time with my adorable son and my puppy! Im grateful to be doing better (it seems) with the whole you know what issue.

[OverIt2007]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hows the ladies doing? (I sound like the ladies man, LOL)

Are you all staying AF? Struggling? Hows things in your world???


I was blessed to have an AF day (technically day 3) with Savon from this website. We have become good friends, and ironically we are both having some serious AF time behind us. We had a great time at church together, then a very very long lunch with ice tea and crab legs for my son. (yes he is spoiled).

Things are feeling really nice right now, I am beginning to see why so many people say sobriety is so wonderful, I am really seeing how it TRULY IS!!

Wishing you all my very best, and PLEASE update soon!!!

Overit

[SpiritGirl]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

HI everyone... Just want to reach out to all the people who are not only struggling with the burdens of AL but who are also having to CONVINCE other people in their life that they have a drinking problem! Geesh! Talk about a challenge... Most alcoholics (or problem drinkers) have to be CONVINCED that they have a problem - dealing with denial etc... Now, I know we are all a bunch of special people because we wouldn't be on this site if we still needed convincing - BUT - having to get your loved ones convinced that you have a problem?! I commend you all for your additional strength!! I will support you in any way I can !!

Finishing up the weekend, and I am somewhat ashamed to say that I wish I had a glass of wine... I don't know whats wrong with me!!! Why do I miss it? I don't miss being drunk, I just wish I coud have some wine... I hope this desire passes... I feel like I have just broken up with an abusive boyfriend... I know its for the best, but it's still hard...Does that make sense?

Have a wonderful night!! Love to you all...

[OverIt2007]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hi Spirit girl,

Yes... what you wrote about breaking up with an abusive boyfriend compared to alcohol. Yes, it makes sense!

Alcohol was never really our friend. Maybe we pretended that it was, but its intentions have nothing to do with our best interest.

I was having a wonderful lunch today with a friend from here. We were at a place that sells liquor and suddenly MAN I wanted a drink SOoooo Bad!!!

Thank God she was with me because I would have caved if I was alone, I know I would have.

But you know what? I KNOW that my "one" little glass of wine (my poison) WOULD have turned into MANY MANY glasses of wine. I would have left that lunch, gone and bought a bottle of wine, ( I KNOW THIS) and I would have came home and drank it. That would not have been enough. I would have walked to the gas station by my home and got MORE!

Im really trying to do this play out the scene in my head when these temptations arise.

I had a choice to stay sober, and have a lovely day, or a choice to have a drink, and another and another, and be back in my hole.

When you break things down in these kinds of ways, you see the destruction that lies ahead of you when you decide to have "just one".

It is an abusive boyfriend, and unless you break up with him, He will continue to kick the shit out of you.

Love,

Overit

[sunshine_gg]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Greetings, Sir Overit and all

Yep, both. AF and struggling. But it will get better.
Looking forward to an AF tomorrow.

*yawn* Getting late.. I'm outta here! Night night!

[SpiritGirl]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Over It, THANK YOU! I will read that over and over because it makes so much sense to me - it is my story.... Yes, if I were to have one glass of wine, I'd want more... Its an addictive poison to me... Again, just like an addictive relationship that slowly snuffs the life out of me... When I am feeling physically better, like now, I FORGET how bad it is to recover from a night of over indulgence... And I have two extremes - Sober or Drunk... Nothing in between.... Praying to stay sober...

And being sober does another thing for me that is hard... It makes me take a personal inventory of the things going on in my life... Like relationships that I am involved in...I know I need to make changes but have put it all on the backburner in order to focus on drinking... When I am drinking I do not have the time (or energy) to really evaluate things in my life... Like the way I have kept my home (closets need to be cleaned out, storage room, car maintenance)... So many things have piled up that I need to get in order... I have neglected so much by being drunk or recovering from a drunken night... Its a little overwhelming... It feels good once I get started, but, whew - do I have some things I need to take care of that I have ignored.... Will feel better though, I know... As long as I can do this!

Happy Monday to everyone... Here's to a AF week!

[andaz]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Still in there 1 week over whayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

Hope you are all well. Still so tierd zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[OverIt2007]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hey Andaz,

GREAT JOB on your AF time!!!! Keep it up! I look forward to learning more about you!


Spirit Girl, Were we separated at birth???? Its amazing how I connect so much with your posts. Its like we totally understand each others feelings when dealing with this horrible issue. Its good to know YES, someone does understand and knows how YOU feel!


Here is a quick example of me sober or drunk. When I have a few days sober behind me (like now) my home is very clean. Like right now, I just got my carpets shampooed, been cleaning our closets and drawers, and even dusting!! It makes me feel good to have a clean home! Happy!

When I am drinking my home turns into a total pig stye. Dirty dishes piled up everywhere, toys scattered around, unclean catbox! Gross and dirty. It goes along with my feelings about myself and my sadness. Everything revolves around my emotions and when I am drinking, I JUST DONT CARE.

I care right now, I am TIRED of living in a dirty house, and tired of having a dirty LIFE! My house is clean now, and I really really want to keep it that way!

Love you guys, Stay strong!!!!

Overit

[sparrow]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Come too far to give up now, Count me in for another 30. :thanks:

Sparrow