30 day commitment.. who's in?

[Bree]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hi all,

Sunshine, sorry to hear about your Mum, and going through a bit of crap.
Day 11 AF, wow, you are doing great, keep it up girl!!!

Kimberly, I call it 'a nice glass of wine', cos' that is usually my intention, however and the reason I'm on MWO, is I never leave it at that, it turns into 2-3 btls. How are you today?


Spiritgirl, hop on board this wagon, theres always someone here to catch you if you fall off, it's not the end of the world, just a tempory blip. Be kind to yourself, and don't beat yourself up over it, theres enough people out there to do that.

Determination, glad I'm not on my own in feeling tired. Keep up the good work.
Sleepwise, I'm sleeping reasonbly well at nights, still sweating(gross!!) a lot at night though, but I wake up tired everyday?????



Well done, Christine, keep going.

Liath, hope you are keeping well, thinking about you.

Day 10 (yaah, double figures), things are good, not thinking about AL as much as I used to.
It used to be all consuming with me, wondering when and how I was going to have a drink, thankfully that has passed, for the moment anyway. I'm realistic enough to know that it will hit me when I least expect it, so trying not to get too complacent about it.
Anyway, today is good, and thats what matters, I'll worry about tomorrow when it comes.

Keep up the good work everybody, we are doing great.

Bree:goodjob:

[Bree]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Just figured out how to add a picture to my profile.......Doh!!!!

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hi all,

Spirit, don't worry - I know how you feel. I am still AF but I don't have that same feeling of dogged determination I did in the first week. This has ruined my efforts many a time as I forget the intensity of how bad it all was- but I am hanging in there because somewhere in my head I do know how bad it was and somewhere in my heart I don't want that for me anymore. Don't hate yourself - have compassion for yourself in this predicament.

Sunny I am so glad you are on this thread - you are doing incredibly well given all that is going on in your life. You go, girl!

Welcome Ryan and Christine! You will find lots of support here if you need it.

Bree welcome to double figures! I am glad that thoughts of al are less frequent, but you are definitely right about not getting complacent. I am peeking round corners at the moment waiting for the nagging thought that wants to trip me up!

I am feeling very tired tonight, so may not check in until tomorrow. I have already had 2 Red Bull and 3 cups of coffee today and still my eyes were about to close at the end of work!

[joerindge]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

day four for me didnt sleep at all for the first three

[Liath]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hi everyone- I tried to post yesturday but it must have gotten lost in translation? I meant to reassure you Spiritgirl, that those feeling of self-loathing WILL fade if we can get a handle on this nasty habit. I am just today starting to feel like myself after this weekend! I am home, AF, and taking care of myself and that is the key. I have to remind myself that my feelings of self loathing after a binge are caused by a controlled substance that I can escape!

Joe- I sympathize. I have slept terribly the last few days myself.

:welcome: Christine.

Sunny, Bree, Kim and anyone else that responded to my sorry post the other day, I thank you! You are all really kicking butt.

[Liath]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

One more thing. Have you all spent a lot of time asking yourself, why do I drink? Just wondering, because I sure have. I don't think, for many, it is as simple as getting addicted. There are pyschological factors involved. I resolved an issue in the past few days that was greatly complicating my life. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I think things will be easier for me from now on. I could be wrong, but dealing with unresolved issues could not possibly HURT the situation, right?

[sparkleAZ]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hello everyone! Just a quick note this morning. I have company from CA this week and it has been difficult for me to stay AL so I have decided to mod instead. I have done pretty well so far having 2 or 3 drinks. My company leaves on Sunday so I will go back to no drinking again. Everyone stay strong, looks like for the most part everyone is doing very well.

[Determination]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

I am back on day 2 AF. On Tuesday, I had a REALLY bad day at work. I made a conscious decision to stop and get a bottle of wine. It didn't even really taste that good to me, and I woke up with a huge headache.

I have no self-loathing because I knew what I was doing - and I think ultimately it may help me long term. It just wasn't as pleasurable as it once was and I hated the way I felt physically in the morning. It was actually a really good reminder of how happy I was AF.

Instead of feeling like I was "giving up" something I enjoyed or that somehow I was being denied something pleasurable, I actually feel like I am not giving up something good, but something bad. Hard for me to explain.

So, back at square 1, but I'm O.K. with that.

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Liath good to see you back again. I know exactly why I became an alky - I was agorophoboic and social phobic so I couldn't even go outside without a drink - or pretty much do anything actually! What is annoying for me is that even though I don't have the condition anymore (hypnotherapy), the ten-year habit is so hard to break. I thought I wouldn't be an alky anymore when the issue was solved - but I am

However, there is no way I could've come as far as I have without the issue being resolved (I would still be drinking 1.5 litres of gin a day rather than mostly AF with slips).

I hope the resolution of your issue will give you a break and make it easier.

Sparkle it sounds like you are doing really well - congrats on modding without going overboard that's ace!

Determination I really like your attitude. I understand exactly what you mean about giving up a bad thing rather than something good - that's why a few posts earlier I said I couldn't ever describe it as a "nice" glass of wine! Nothing nice about what my wine habits have done to me. Al is no friend to me really - even though it keeps telling me it is!

[Liath]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Determination- I completely understand. I too feel as though I am giving up something bad, finally. Its taken a while to get to that point, but my AF sprees this year (from 10 days to 2 weeks) have changed my mindset. I actually don't even want to stop at the liquor store after work. AL is only 'fun' in moderation, and thats not the way I have been drinking! Keep at it and I know that you will turn the corner.

Kim- Well that is great to know that you fixed the underlying cause of your distress. I started drinking in highschool due to social anxiety and to fit in. I developed a social life (on into my 30s) that revolved around AL. But I took things way to far and suddenly, AL was the problem, not the solution!

In order to heal, I know I need to let go of the past and move forward. That includes obsessing over AL. I finally feel like I can take it or leave it. I just need to avoid situations where I would ordinarily binge. For example, my BF and I are going to make Sundays our day to spend time together from now on. This eliminates the possibility that I will go out with my drinking buddies and watch football all day!

OK, the weekend is almost upon us! This time, I am not going to binge!!!

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

I am at work at the mo, but as I think all your weekends start a bit earlier than mine (or is it later?) I just wanted to wish you all luck as I may not be about later.

I am off out tonight to a gig, which should be cool as I'm going with someone who 'knows' I don't drink anymore. Might even try to find me a new man :H

Anyways, I will post back later. Lots of big encouraging hugs to you all :l

[Determination]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Happy Friday Everyone!

How's everybody doing? Bree? SparkleAZ, Liath, Kimberley?

It is the weekend, which I worried so much about last weekend - which was my first AF. It was challenging, but I'm not at all worried about it this weekend. After having my wine on Tuesday, which I didn't enjoy, I am just looking forward to spending time with the kids and not feeling like I am depriving myself of something. I pray to God that this feeling lasts!

Please check in this weekend - stay strong!

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hi Determination,

Hope you had a good Friday. Well after how many days I had a drink last night. My supposed friend and I had a massive row - I think he's trying to be more than a friend.

So that got me down and I was supposed to be going out so i bought a bit of vodka and mixed it to try and numb out the stress. Didn't go out in the end- sorted things with my mate over the phone and went to bed.

Like you siad, I'm not really counting it as a failure- I planned it. I wouldv'e stayed home or gone out upset anyway. Alcohol stopped me from crying my eyes out. But I have a big headache today - not used to the poisin for a while.

[Bree]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hi all,
Sorry I haven't been around for a couple of days, spending some time with the kids before they go back to school.
I'm still AF, Day 13, I'm feeling good, positive, but wary at the same time. Last night, I had a momentary thought of AL, but it went as soon as it came, I didn't dwell on it too much.

Speaking about the underlying cause of al-ism, I was at AA on weds night, and something one of the speakers said, touched a nerve within me, I didn't even know it bothered me till he said it, he said he was the youngest of six, and was forever trying to get his parents love and attention. It actually jolted me for a moment, I never realised before, but that is exactly the same as me, always looking for approval & attention, maybe thats the reason behind the drinking. I could be outrageous and do mad things just for attention. I still look for attention from my husband the whole time. Sad or what???

Gonna go now, as putting this into words has really made me think

Bree

[Kimberley]

30 day commitment.. who's in?

Hey all,

I am feeling quite rubbish still (al always messes up my sleeping - one of the things I really hate about it), so am just staying in today, eating ice cream and watching trash telly!

I have decided with my signature thing I am going to count the number of Drinking days I have per month and trying to cut them down - so far in August I have only had 4 drinking days compared to 19 sober. It's not good enough, but it's a start and I hope to be able to make September entirely AF or at least improve my numbers.

I actually went to an AA meeting on Saturday (only the 2nd I have done). I met two lovely people outside of the meeting, but the women's group was really cliquey and unfriendly, so I don't think I'll be going again. Sadly I haven't found the right meeting yet - don't know if I ever will tbh.

Bree glad to hear you're still keeping strong.

Speak to you all later.