Dying

[Dreamweaver]

Dying

Thank you Jackie! I needed that hug! I'm not off to such a great start.

[42cat]

Dying

Hi Elpis and everyone. Please let us know how things go today. I drank a lot, too.. from the moment I woke up, all day long .. gagging, shakes, and the last month of my heavy drinking included vomiting .. overnight and morning .. the constant "booze flu" ... Anxiety, panic ... Not pretty, and not easy to disguise. I was at the point where I hated drinking. It definitely wasn't fun anymore. I was/am worried about my health too. I'd tapered off and cut WAY down .. got some good days AF, etc.... but I can't say that I've gone completely AF. That is my goal though. I can't let myself get too relaxed about things .. there's NO way I'm going back to drinking the way I was. It was scary.

Sometimes the constant feeling of worry, guilt, isolation, etc. can be very overwhelmingly sad and lonely. But I have learned that those feelings, at least for me, are easier to handle with time away from booze. Those first bunch of days are the hardest, but you can use them to plan for what is to come. Start making little changes, etc. Glad you've decided to see a therapist. I'm looking forward to hearing what he / she had to say.

Hang in there. You can do this. You too, Dreamweaver .. and everyone else who's struggling (including me).

Hope you have a good day today.

[Dreamweaver]

Dying

Thank you cat! I am not feeling so well at the moment!

I have so much work to do today! I got so drunk yesterday/last night that I could not work. I cannot afford to lose my job! It is going to be a long day!

[Elpis]

Dying

Well here we go. Already off to a bad start as about 5 AM I woke up and my heart was just pounding in my chest (nothing new). Had a cup of wine and laid down for a little more rest before work. Took the supplements that I had this AM and they are doing something though I am not sure what. No more booze today I pray. Gonna try hard. I see the doc at 3:30 today so I am praying that s/he will be helpful. Dreamweaver - how's it going???

[42cat]

Dying

Elpis ... I'm not sure how much you were drinking, but you may want to try to taper down rather than go cold turkey .. at least for starters, until you get some guidance from the doc later today.

I tapered off a bottle of hard stuff and posted a thread on it (which I re-read whenever I'm feeling like I might be slipping a little) ... If you're interested, here's a link. Sometimes it just helps to talk to people (or read their posts) who are going through similar things, or have gone through them.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ggy-34156.html

Dreamweaver .. hang in there. Lots of water .. warm lemon water is great. Hope you're feeling better as the day goes on.

[Elpis]

Dying

42cat;685261 wrote: Elpis ... I'm not sure how much you were drinking, but you may want to try to taper down rather than go cold turkey .. at least for starters, until you get some guidance from the doc later today.

I tapered off a bottle of hard stuff and posted a thread on it (which I re-read whenever I'm feeling like I might be slipping a little) ... If you're interested, here's a link. Sometimes it just helps to talk to people (or read their posts) who are going through similar things, or have gone through them.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ggy-34156.html

Dreamweaver .. hang in there. Lots of water .. warm lemon water is great. Hope you're feeling better as the day goes on.

Thanks for the tip Cat and I will look at the thread. I drink a lot and do it in a short period of time. I don't know that cutting back is an option for me. I tend to be "all in" or "all out".

[DriftyAlison0]

Dying

Elpis I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

I never thought that I would ever make it this far in not drinking after my many fails in trying to quit. And I have only been drinking less then a year. But this is the best site that you can go to. I am now on Day 40. Have you considered joining AA? Some do and some don't. I don't go to AA myself but I have heard stories of both sides of AA.

[IAD]

Dying

Elpis....Is their an AA meeting you can go to ? You will get hands on support that way....you don't have to join....they will help you. I'm just thinking about you getting hands on help....right know ! Seek them.........Praying for you guy ! IAD

[Dreamweaver]

Dying

I am feeling horrible! I woke up at 3 am. I still had some beer. I drank it. I feel so sick and I am out of booze! I have so much work to do today. I work from home and transcribe medical reports! They have to be in today! I hope you are doing okay! Sometimes, I can taper....Sometimes, I cannot!

[Dreamweaver]

Dying

Elpis, Did you make it to the doctor? I am considering going to detox! More than anything, I want to be sober!

[Zeta]

Dying

My heart aches for you guys. I too know the battle well. So many words in here ring true to my own experiences. I'm on day 4 AF and plan on staying that way for a while. What has me scared are the withdrawals (mostly anxiety/panic attacks) and feeling like I am dying. It usually takes me a good 4 to 5 days after my last drink before I feel "normal" again.

What also has me scared is that I am used to not drinking during the week, but the weekends come and I always use the excuse that it's okay to drink on the weekend...Nevermind the 2 bottles of wine a night for 3 days!

I've had the achy, right side and lower back pain off and on over the past year and I KNOW it's AL related. For me, I still feel hope that I can get off this pattern (binge drinking) and pull back to a healthier life. Mainly because the 5-day "Booze Flu" is really getting old and scaring me.

Dreamweaver and Elpis, I wish for you both inner strength to get through and find the courage to ease yourselves away from this poison that dictates so much of our lives.

This site offers excellent support and information to help. I can see that clearly.

One second at a time....

[Dreamweaver]

Dying

Thank you Zeta!

Congratulations on 4 days. From where I am sitting, 4 days seems like 4 years! I got some Topamax, it is so expensive. I plan to take it tonight. If I can make it through the first week, I will only have to deal with my head (lol), instead of the physical withdrawal.

I have panic/anxiety attacks too. I think I use booze to self-medicate. But, in the long run, I think the booze is making it worse!

[darkie]

Dying

please hang in guys,i know its not easy,but it will be so worthwhile .both dreamwaver and elpis.youe worth it,

[LookingToGrow]

Dying

Dream and Elpis, go to detox if you can - 3 or 4 days, then come back here. I didn't really like medical detox but it can help. Atleast you are monitored, then take it from there. Best of wishes!!!

[Dreamweaver]

Dying

Looking to grow! Thank you for your concern. I feel so sick right now. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I can have a drink and feel a little better, initially, or suffer through and eventually get better. It sucks that a drink makes me feel "well." I am going to keep trying. I know that I am not alone! I will start the Topamax tonight, 50 mg. I have to get back to work....It's really hard to make up 2 days of work in my kind of shape!