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**Wally22** · August 8, 2009, 04:29 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

:welcome: back Bob
Hopefully you will feel a little better when You get some food into you. Keep posting.

**Heavenly** · August 8, 2009, 04:30 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

welcome back and good luck ...

**Popeye** · August 8, 2009, 04:31 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

Hi Bob,
You can get yourself out of this hole.
It may seem hard, if not impossible, but you can do it.
Being sober is not as frightening as I thought it would be. In fact it's the most liberating thing that we can do for ourselves. Having to deal with things and setting things straight was a scary thought, but once you can think clearly, without the alcohol induced fog, it really is amazing how soon things brighten up.
Get yourself a plan. There are loads of people here who will help you find your way to a better way of life.

**Kimberley** · August 8, 2009, 04:42 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

I agree with everything that Popeye says and want to wish you all the luck in the world should you choose to be courageous and face up to your problem.

You may be lost and you may feel hopeless, but you are NOT unworthy - you are a human being and you deserve to have a good life. I hope you can take the first step to achieving that.

Don't be scared Bob - we will all be here to help you.

**Doggygirl** · August 8, 2009, 04:45 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

There is hope Bob! Something to eat sounds like a good idea. No matter how low we have sunk, we can crawl our way back to the land of the living. You might have done shitty things, but you are not a shit. There is a good, sober person inside all of us just waiting to get out into the light of day.

Pops is right.

Strength and hope,

DG

WA · August 8, 2009, 04:56 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

Hi Bob,
You are screaming for help yet you know the answer ..... but where do you start!
At the beginning and take one day at a time, drink is not the answer as you well know just an excuse to blot things out for a very short time .... truth is it will do that but things will feel 100 times worse in the morning and so begins the pattern...
Your life will not ever change while you allow this pattern to go on
Please get help wherever and how ever you can and break the pattern, then you can love you again and all eles will follow
I have read your story and it reminded me of me 18 months again ......but I did change it round as hard as it was and now my life is not perfect but what I have im in control of not AL
All the best
J x

**propartychief** · August 8, 2009, 05:26 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

I don't understand how I can be in almost total control at work yet have no control of my personal life!!!
How can I be so weak!

No I have not had any food afraid to leave the house I know right now I'll buy beer.

I talk to her on the phone almost daily and it is ripping my heart out!!!(just got off the phone with her.)

I SO LOVE AND MISS MY FAMILY!!!!!!

Bob :upset:

**Brave Hearted** · August 8, 2009, 06:02 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

Hi Bob
my heart aches for you, we have all been there and lots of us still are. I am just trying a new thing on here Baclofen, just reading the book about it by Olivier Ameisten and in that somebody said to him " you are a good person ! you just have a bad disease" and that just about sums up this hells whole drink puts us in. And do you know what Bob I keep telling mysoef that now I and I bet you and everybody in here is a good person , we just have a bad disease. And I too lost the love of my life ten mnths ago because of drinking nearly ripped my heart out, I still cry dily for him but he does not understand suspose its not easy understanding, but you have to be srtong and we are all here for you !

**Theme2be** · August 8, 2009, 06:59 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

Your post is your reach to another place to live your life as you were intended to live.

Keep reaching.

I entirely understand you and your heartbreak.

**Elpis** · August 8, 2009, 07:51 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

Hi Bob,

First of all – peace be with you. I just said this prayer” “God, if you’re still listening to me, give Bob some help.” Now feel the help. It is there. Slow down and take a deep breath. Feel the help. There is a whole lot of fight in you. If you drink and don’t eat, you will die. If you are like me I really don’t like the thought of dying in the gutter smelling of booze – and that is exactly what is going to happen to you and to me if we don’t stop (I am still less than 24 hours into detox). You know where you are. You know where you want to be. And you know how to get there. You remember that movie “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”? Remember when Indiana looked across that chasm that separated him from distant opening on the other side? What did he say? He said, “It’s a leap of faith”. And, trembling, he took the step, finding that God was there all the time.

You already know that it will not be easy but you know how to get her back and, I think more importantly get you life back. I pray for you and beg you to pray for me too.

Elpis

**LilBit** · August 8, 2009, 08:19 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

Bob, you have my prayers, too. :l:l:l

**Winefree** · August 8, 2009, 10:50 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

Bob, it was my husband walking out that made me hit bottom and see what I lost. That did it for me. I've been working on licking this since April 8th for hopefully the final time. It has not been easy, but has been worth it. Besides losing weight, not being in a fog,so I can think clearly, I have maintained my sobriety now for 99 days. With the help of AA, MWO, my councellor and self help books, supps, CD's, exercise and changing habits, things are so much better.
2 weeks ago my husband came back as well, since I have been doing so well. This could happen for you as well, if you put your mind to it, it can be done. The first few weeks are really hard, but it gets easier and easier after a while.

Give it a try, you are worth it!

Winefree

**propartychief** · August 8, 2009, 11:09 PM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

Elispis thank you and I just sent it right back at you hope you feel it!!
Thank you all for your support !!
I am going to start a new thread tommorow to track my progress at a new start!!

Keep talking to me I need all the support I can get!!!!

Bob

**Gold** · August 9, 2009, 03:03 AM

At the bottom of a hole!!!! And Fing scared!!!!

Dear Bob,

You are not unworthy, it is how you are feeling.

The thing that struck me most about your post was that you must have been drinking since you were 11, a child (I have been a practicing alcoholic for 32 of my 43 years.). It's as if you are expecting yourself to be able to deal with the drinking as an adult but there is still this child that needs to be taken care of.

I would guess that to begin at such a young age things must have been very difficult for you, and perhaps it would enable you to be less hard on yourself if you could have some compassion for the child that began you on this path. Maybe talk to someone about it.

I believe that God always hears but we don't always recognise his response. Often he uses other people to help us, books, a film, a song, all signs to catch our attention.

Healing on its way to you.

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