I have a work colleague where we regularly would go out for beers and darts after work a couple of times a week. I do not feel that I am strong enough to resist ordering a beer, and while I will miss hanging out with him and venting about work and darts, I really need a break. I think he also may be an alcoholic, but he isn't ready to quit. I don't want to seem judgmental at all. Any suggestions?
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ODAT! -
How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
Gee Det, the only thing I can think of is to say you are not drinking. You could say you are on medication that you can't drink with and don't want to be tempted. I know if I played pool I would have a hard time, I can play pool with Joe and not drink, but my other friends, well I hear you hon. -
How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
Hi Det,
I told lots of people that I wasn't drinking because of my high cholesterol level. ( not a lie ) but it gave me some breathing space until people got used to me not drinking.
Hope this helps a bit.
Jackie xxx
AF since 7/7/2009It could be worse, I could be filing.
AF since 7/7/2009Comment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
Hi Determination,
This IS a toughy! But I think both Jackieclaire and Hart have the right idea. Tell him you're on medication that precludes the intake of alcohol (you can google them). Flagyl (an antibiotic) is one of them.
That is only a short term solution though, so we will have to think of something else for the next time. I am sure the more experienced have good ideas. Best of luck.
Sunbird
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
Det........yep tell him that your on meds. ....can't drink ! Of course I use that.....but for real I am on all kinds of meds. and I should'nt be drinking anyway Ha!........IAD
?Be who you are and say what you feel because
those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
Dr. SeussComment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
Hey Det,
I totally can relate to this post, as I have a girlfriend who is a BIG alcoholic (not passing judgement but its true, she seeks no help), and whenever I hang around her, it is next to impossible to not drink!
I hate to say this, but for a short period of time, I think you should avoid this tender situation until you can get your stable legs underneath of you. It does not have to be a long time, but maybe you can make a few excuses to pass until you feel confident enough to be in this situation.
It may be a small sacrafice for your sobriety, which should be number one for You!
I heard this posted somewhere, I think Lavande said it, I just love this...
"I dont care whats in your glass, if you dont care whats in mine!" Makes sense doesnt it?I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!Comment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
Good suggestions, all.I've been walking, a long and crooked path. Come my restoration, wash my body clean...Comment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
I love that quote! I really want to be AF and so I think avoiding the entire situation is best - just didn't know how to tell him. I know he will try to guilt me into going with him - but you all are right. My priority is MY sobriety.OverIt2007;690334 wrote:
I heard this posted somewhere, I think Lavande said it, I just love this...
"I dont care whats in your glass, if you dont care whats in mine!" Makes sense doesnt it?ODAT!Comment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
i told my "friends" i was giving my liver a break from AL, just said i was taking a break at first. THe longer it goes i hope it gets easier and i can decide who i can trust with more information. tomorrow i can say ive been AF a week and then i can say i feel so much better i do not want to go back to the fog, and hangovers etc. i also take it one day at a time like so many others. I have had to ask my husband to get rid of all the wine in the house and i have had to refuse offer to local winery with some women who did know what i was doing, why choose a winery?? dont be afraid to not go if you do not feel strong enough. Do what is best for you and you only i say..Comment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
If he tries to guilt you into going with him, then, Whoa! What kind of friend is that? That's what we have mothers for! Do your own thing Det, whatever that may be, and friends who can't accept it maybe aren't the kind of friends you want around.Determination;690378 wrote: I love that quote! I really want to be AF and so I think avoiding the entire situation is best - just didn't know how to tell him. I know he will try to guilt me into going with him - but you all are right. My priority is MY sobriety."If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. WellsComment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
If driving to work, tell him that you can't afford to drink and drive.
I use that one, though I am sure I do in the mornings, as it is still inside me.
As one of the posts said, if they don't understand they are not friends.
Tell them you think you have swine flu - only a thought.
Get yourself out of there anyway if they are persuasive.
You don't want them to start spiking your drinks for a laugh.
good luck.Comment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
If he's a good enough friend, you could get a conversation going regarding the amount of drink you want to do. You know? Something about how you're fed up drinking and you don't want it getting the better of you. Nothing heavy; just preparing the ground for whatever you decide you want to do. Since I quit I've told anyone that asks me that I don't drink. Some, usually the 'Sherlocks' who can sense a bit of a possible character flaw and a chance of some gossip, want to know if I've ever drank, and when I stopped and why, but I digress... My point is, you wouldn't believe the number of people who have expressed a desire to cool it, if only for a while. It's like being a rare non-drinker, they can say to me what they think their mates would scoff at without fear of ridicule. I think there are a lot of people who would drink less if they stood up just a little to the peer pressure and didn't just follow the crowd.Comment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
You've gotten really good advice. I had the thought that if you really want to go play darts with this friend, what if you ordered a soft drink as soon as you got there. At least you'd be "drinking"... and if he asks you about what you're drinking, just say you've decided to take a break from drinking for a while.
Then beat his ass at darts!! You'll probably play better if you're not drinking AL.
Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais NinComment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
You can also say you have decided to get healthier or lose weight and youre going to the gym or some such. Later, when feeling stronger, you might be able to sometimes go and play darts and have a soft drink, but very hard at first. Who knows, maybe he wants to go to the gym with you instead of play darts?Comment
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How do I handle my former drinking colleague?
I agree with Popeye. A real friend will understand and may take the AF challenge down the road. The main thing is not to let yourself get caught in the AL trap.
The hangover lasts a lot longer than the buzz.
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