What to do?

[Elpis]

Hi All,

First I want to thank everyone who took the time to reply and encourage me to quit. Today is day five AF!!! I am proud of myself and that is a good feeling that I have not had in a long time. I wake up in the mornings rather than ?come to?. I even went a full hour on the ellipticizer last night ? something I haven?t done in at least 15 years. I recently had my first sober birthday in... well I don't know how long.

So I am over the worst of detox and I actually have a little hope for the future. Yet that said, I feel this strange emptiness inside me. It?s like my whole life revolved around the next drink and that is gone. What do you fill that hole with? How do you fill that hole? Is there a trick or do you just do something else? Does anyone here see a counselor and found them helpful? Not helpful?

Thanks again, ladies and gents, for all your help. I?ve been away on a trip but am going home today so hopefully I can do a better job of keeping up.

E-

[brightlite]

What to do?

Elpis,

First of all, congrats on day 5! I still have yet to achieve that. The world is your oyster now. Think of all the things you can do now to fill up that void. Even if it is reading more or getting into better shape....so many possibilities. Onward and Upward!

[mario]

What to do?

:goodjob: elpis on your first 5 days af,You must start to keep yourself busy,do hobbies go for walks anything,For me one to one councilling is working i also go to AA meetings,and do group therapy,so try out everything,something will click for you,just a little warning and i mean this in the best possible way,Your first 5 days might not be the hardest part of detoxing.Goodluck keep posting.odaat:goodjob:

[My New Beginning]

What to do?

Hi Elpis and what a great job on Day 5! Awesome accomplishment.
I know the feeling of the emptiness. Our lives DID revolve around alcohol and now that is not there it's sort of like losing a close friend but it really was no friend at all!!
Like others have said, keep busy and stick close to this site. I come here sometimes twice a day just to stay grounded. Also what has helped me a lot is drinking lots of water and I put a slice of fresh lemon in every glass...very refreshing and the lemon seems to make my insides feel better.
I wish you all the best and it's so good you have found this site!

[Sweaty Betty]

What to do?

Hi Elpis.

Congratulations on day 5! I think initially the 'hole' that going AF creates has to be filled with distraction, exercise, breaking your usual routines, obsessive MWO posting/reading, knitting, surfing, eating,music, movies - whatever works for you. I think after a while you then have to look forward, and really think about a different life - this might mean major changes, or it might mean relatively small changes, but either way I think its so much easier to be positive and look to the future when you have power over AL, rather than it having power over you.

For me personally, I'm looking to the future, but not panicking about it. I'm thinking about what I want to do, and not what other people think I 'should' do. I haven't worked for a while, and am trying to build myself up to dealing with people on a daily basis that I might not like. At the minute, if I don't like someone I can just avoid them!

Best Wishes,

Bets.

I

[Wally22]

What to do?

Congratulations on Day 5! Well done.
It is time to start to find some other interests to fill your time. Dirnking is very time consuming, you need to find something satisfying to do with your hands and mind.
It is good to stay close to the site, because we understand exactly how you feel and can relate. It's also good advice to stay well hydrated. Don't get complacent!
How about a new you project, such as cleaning out a drawer or a closet, sort of a fresh start sort of thing. Take the dog for a walk. Stand and chat with a neighbour for a bit.
Not big projects, little 15 minute things that can be completed and give you a sense of accomplishment.
Volunteer at the library, ours has a film club once a month, which is fun to get involved in.
Sign up for a night school class, one you have always wanted to take, the curriculums are coming out right now. Amble around your neighbourhood with your hands in your pocket and notice how wonderful everything looks when your head is clear.
Counselling defnitely helps. Your doctor can refer you. Most communities have mental health agencies and addiction counselling agencies listed in the phone books which can help. I am still waiting for my first appointment in September, and I called in early June, but I am hopeful. I went through some therapy for depression and I found it very helpful. It was cognitive therapy and I found many of the techniques useful.
Hope any one of these ideas might plant the germ of a useful idea.
Best of luck, and again congratulations on day 5.

[Lavande]

What to do?

Good job Elpis and Happy Birthday!

The answer to your question is..........
ANYTHING YOU WANT!

Here's a partial list of the things I've accomplished since going AF:
Purchased & hung wallpaper in my dining room, purchased, assembled & finished a coffee table & 2 end tables for my living room, purchased new rug for living room, cleaned my house from top to bottom, including windows, planted flower & veggie seeds, transplanted those seedlings into the garden, harvested & froze 15+ qts of raspberries from my vines, made & canned pickles & pickled beets, hosted a party for my grandson's christening, refocused my attention on my home based embroidery business.....................

Enjoy your new found time & freedom

[Dreamweaver]

What to do?

Congratulations! I know exactly what you mean about the emptiness. I can't figure out what to do with myself. I would like to be 1/2 as productive as Lavande!

[Popeye]

What to do?

Very well done...
Lots of great advice Elpis. Try and treat this as an opportunity to improve and enjoy simple things again, like waking up fresh and not as an imposed punishment, as I did for a long time. You really are doing yourself a huge favour and you'll reap the benefits sooner rather than later.

[dancelot]

What to do?

Hi, Elpis! I'm new here too (this is day 4 AF for me). That "empty" feeling was the first thing I noticed. It literally seemed to be half my life. I had to actually think back to being a kid to think how does one fill their time. That's honestly the last time I remember NOT drinking. I kind of reconnected to things I used to enjoy sober. I rode my horse bareback, actually cooked a nice meal after going to the grocery store, and started drawing JUST FOR FUN! I also organized the riding arena, cleaned the house (HAHA), tried to figure out a problem with my computer (and didn't scream at it!). Just find ways to keep busy- and make sure some of it's fun.

[Skinned Knees]

What to do?

Elpis;691015 wrote: Hi All,

Yet that said, I feel this strange emptiness inside me. It?s like my whole life revolved around the next drink and that is gone. What do you fill that hole with? How do you fill that hole? Is there a trick or do you just do something else?

E-

I haven't been here in ages, but do lurk on occasion. I am almost 8 months AF, and went through the same emptiness. There is even a thread by me with the same questions. I realized I had just given up my "best friend". It was always there for me. The way I filled that emptiness was by making new "friends". I really didn't like my new friends at first. I wanted my best friend back. So, I forced myself to spend time with my new friends. The friends that I always enjoyed being with before my best friend took over my life. I found several new best friends (you can't have too many). My new best friends are crocheting, reading, playing games on the computer, playing bingo, just to name a few.

Spend some time with your old friends, the ones that waited in the wings until you decided to give up your best friend. They're still there, and they will always be there for you. But unlike your former best friend, these new friends will enhance your life and make it more enjoyable, instead of tearing it apart.

:goodjob: on the 5 days AF.

Best wishes,

SK

[Elpis]

What to do?

mario;691031 wrote: :goodjob: elpis on your first 5 days af,You must start to keep yourself busy,do hobbies go for walks anything,For me one to one councilling is working i also go to AA meetings,and do group therapy,so try out everything,something will click for you,just a little warning and i mean this in the best possible way,Your first 5 days might not be the hardest part of detoxing.Goodluck keep posting.odaat:goodjob:

Thank you for the heads up ? it is true that I only assumed the worse is over. Perhaps I need a reality check. Thank you!
E-

[Elpis]

What to do?

Skinned Knees;691925 wrote: I haven't been here in ages, but do lurk on occasion. I am almost 8 months AF, and went through the same emptiness. There is even a thread by me with the same questions. I realized I had just given up my "best friend". It was always there for me. The way I filled that emptiness was by making new "friends". I really didn't like my new friends at first. I wanted my best friend back. So, I forced myself to spend time with my new friends. The friends that I always enjoyed being with before my best friend took over my life. I found several new best friends (you can't have too many). My new best friends are crocheting, reading, playing games on the computer, playing bingo, just to name a few.

Spend some time with your old friends, the ones that waited in the wings until you decided to give up your best friend. They're still there, and they will always be there for you. But unlike your former best friend, these new friends will enhance your life and make it more enjoyable, instead of tearing it apart.

:goodjob: on the 5 days AF.

Best wishes,

SK

Wow SK - this made my day becasue that is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Especially this line has a few tears in my eyes: "Spend some time with your old friends, the ones that waited in the wings until you decided to give up your best friend". May God have mercy on my soul. Thank you.

E-

[Dreamweaver]

What to do?

Elpis, I spend a lot of time on these boards. It kind of feels like I am slowly nursing myself back to health. I'm talking to people that I haven't talked to in a long time and trying to take better care of myself, just the basics....showering, eating right, getting enough rest, etc. All the things I neglected when I was drinking.

[darkie]

What to do?

hi elpis .great work on 5af days.we all feel the empty days.but think of the drunk days,the shame.guilt lonely self hate,etc etc so whats a little empty?walk talk.stay with us,cook clean sleep.read .music..i know i make it sound easy,but look what you gained,look to tomorrow.god bless you and us .its good to be able to feel.not hide them in a bottle.