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    I'm sorry

    Hi everyone,
    Some people may know me here, others not. I guess i'm counted as an old timer. Anyway, I've been sober for months and months now and have really turned my life around with the help of an antabuse tablet once a week.

    I'm sorry because i left the sight when i started to get my life back in order which was really wrong of me cause you all helped me when i was seriously screwed and if it wasn't for you guys i really don't know where i'd be right now, if even alive. I was thinking about everything today and i have soo much to give back to everyone.

    For all those who remember me and my story (hard to forget i know) I'm doing great. I'm still sober! I have a great job in a delievery unit and i'm a student midwife. My relationship with my hubby has never been stronger and my relationship with my baby girl has never been better. I truely have gone from drinking all day, starting at breakfast and passing out either in the evening or afternoon, being on the verge of losing my job, my parents, my hubby and my baby girl, my driving licenece to becoming sober, having a change of career which i LOVE to being close to my parents, great to my hubby and baby girl, having a clean house all the time, having the washing, ironing done, the garden looking good constantly (these things tend to go down hill fast when drunk 24/7) losing weight, looking FANTASTIC, cooking and eating dinner up the table with my hubby and daughter, instead of sitting there dribbling my food down myself, if i was even with it another to do that and watching a movie everynight cuddled up on the sofa with my hubby. I have truely become the person i lost and i will never go back.

    I have to admit, every so often when my 2 weeks of antabuse runs out i try a drink and well same story goes, one drink is never one drink it turns to 1/2.. 3/4 of a bottle and it makes me feel sooo ill and tired and just sooo horrible. I honestly can't see how i used to drink all the time... It used to be a min of 1 bottle a night, sometime 2!! How did i drink that much! I used to look at people and think.. how the hell do you get through the day time without a drink, how the hell do you get through the evening without a drink? Now i sit and think, how the hell did i get myself into such a state, how the hell did i drink in the day and how the hell did i drink so much at night or that amount full stop... 2 bottles, oh my god!

    I know i'm far from in the clear, i know one day i'll need to stop taking the antabuse. I know at this present moment i'm still not strong enough to stop it yet without drinking, although i know the longer i go without drinking the worse i feel if i have a drink.

    It's lovely not to be hiding bottles around the house, freaking out when i don't have drink in the house and constantly thinking where my next drink will be and come from.

    I'm no longer lost, i'm found. However, i'm more the aware that this will be a battle i'll need to fight for the rest of my life but now i've started to win and see the light at the end of the tunnel i'll never give up!

    For everyone who is struggling.. If i can make it, trust me, you can...... Never give up, life is a life long battle, you make it what it is.... never look back, you can't change the past but you can determain the furture, life's what you make it! MAKE IT GOOD, we only get one shot at it (that we know of)

    Love you all! :l

    #2
    I'm sorry

    :goodjob:Hi Lil-michelle

    You have no need to apologise! How lovely to read such an inspiring post. Very glad for you that you have turned your life around. You sound very happy.

    Well Done and and best wishes for a great future!
    If alcohol made you happy I should be the happiest person alive! I'm not.

    Comment


      #3
      I'm sorry

      Very inspirational LM! You have come a looooong way. You should be proud of what you have accomplished.

      Comment


        #4
        I'm sorry

        Life can be ordinary or less than ordinary (drunk) or life can be GREAT! Way to go LM for keeping it Great!

        Everything I need is within me!

        Comment


          #5
          I'm sorry

          Hi Michelle,
          Its good to see you doing so well.
          Well done!
          Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
          Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

          Comment


            #6
            I'm sorry

            Thank you so much for that post!!!! It was so great to read that. Gives me hope. :l
            "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
            ..........
            AF - 7-27-15

            Comment


              #7
              I'm sorry

              Very inspiring post Lil Michelle. thanks so much for coming back and catching us up. It's good to hear you are doing so well.
              Wally22:confusedmonkey::confusedmonkey::confusedmo nkey:
              If I don't want to brag but I can still wear the earings I wore in highschool
              November 2, 2012

              Comment


                #8
                I'm sorry

                Hi Lil Michelle,

                I do remember you and the struggles you had - I am so thankful to hear such a wonderful and inspiring post. Good for you for LIVING your life!

                Best wishes for a happy, healthy and sober future!
                Every day is a day to start over and remember that I am powerless over my addiction. I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
                :h

                Comment


                  #9
                  I'm sorry

                  Hi Lil' Michelle -

                  I'm new here, so I don't know your story. However, thanks for sharing how much better your life is now that you are sober. I am at the very beginning of this journey, when the temptation is still so very great, and so it is very encouraging to hear stories of success and how it has changed your life!
                  ODAT!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I'm sorry

                    LM, I remember you! Good for you on your success. Baby girl about to turn 2, right?
                    :l
                    LTG AF January 13, 2011

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I'm sorry

                      I don't know you. You don't know me. But our stories are so similar that it's kind of freaky.

                      Thank you SO much for posting. Very, very inspirational. Thank you.
                      AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I'm sorry

                        Thank you for this post, LM. I am at the beginning of my AF journey and reading your post really bolstered my spirits (ha--no pun intended!) and drive. Amazing people here!
                        "Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I'm sorry

                          Lil Michele!!!! :l

                          How utterly fantastic to hear your news! I've often thought of you
                          No apologies needed, my dear.. none at all
                          Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                          Winning since October 24th, 2013

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I'm sorry

                            Hey LM! Thanks so much for your post, great to hear you're doing well.

                            Bets.
                            x
                            Proud to be SLIGHTLY SLOVENLY.:wavin:


                            [/COLOR]

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I'm sorry

                              Thank you for coming back and telling us how you are doing. The stories of long term success inspire us all.
                              My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                              Comment

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