Some people may know me here, others not. I guess i'm counted as an old timer. Anyway, I've been sober for months and months now and have really turned my life around with the help of an antabuse tablet once a week.
I'm sorry because i left the sight when i started to get my life back in order which was really wrong of me cause you all helped me when i was seriously screwed and if it wasn't for you guys i really don't know where i'd be right now, if even alive. I was thinking about everything today and i have soo much to give back to everyone.
For all those who remember me and my story (hard to forget i know) I'm doing great. I'm still sober! I have a great job in a delievery unit and i'm a student midwife. My relationship with my hubby has never been stronger and my relationship with my baby girl has never been better. I truely have gone from drinking all day, starting at breakfast and passing out either in the evening or afternoon, being on the verge of losing my job, my parents, my hubby and my baby girl, my driving licenece to becoming sober, having a change of career which i LOVE to being close to my parents, great to my hubby and baby girl, having a clean house all the time, having the washing, ironing done, the garden looking good constantly (these things tend to go down hill fast when drunk 24/7) losing weight, looking FANTASTIC, cooking and eating dinner up the table with my hubby and daughter, instead of sitting there dribbling my food down myself, if i was even with it another to do that and watching a movie everynight cuddled up on the sofa with my hubby. I have truely become the person i lost and i will never go back.
I have to admit, every so often when my 2 weeks of antabuse runs out i try a drink and well same story goes, one drink is never one drink it turns to 1/2.. 3/4 of a bottle and it makes me feel sooo ill and tired and just sooo horrible. I honestly can't see how i used to drink all the time... It used to be a min of 1 bottle a night, sometime 2!! How did i drink that much! I used to look at people and think.. how the hell do you get through the day time without a drink, how the hell do you get through the evening without a drink? Now i sit and think, how the hell did i get myself into such a state, how the hell did i drink in the day and how the hell did i drink so much at night or that amount full stop... 2 bottles, oh my god!
I know i'm far from in the clear, i know one day i'll need to stop taking the antabuse. I know at this present moment i'm still not strong enough to stop it yet without drinking, although i know the longer i go without drinking the worse i feel if i have a drink.
It's lovely not to be hiding bottles around the house, freaking out when i don't have drink in the house and constantly thinking where my next drink will be and come from.
I'm no longer lost, i'm found. However, i'm more the aware that this will be a battle i'll need to fight for the rest of my life but now i've started to win and see the light at the end of the tunnel i'll never give up!
For everyone who is struggling.. If i can make it, trust me, you can...... Never give up, life is a life long battle, you make it what it is.... never look back, you can't change the past but you can determain the furture, life's what you make it! MAKE IT GOOD, we only get one shot at it (that we know of)
Love you all! :l
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