Scare to post, scared not to??? go figure
Been reading all your great post and have been a huge help.
Day 10 AF, Al is just not an option period for me any more. I finally got all the things its robbing me from life.
My history, started drink wine to sleep, only more during really stressful times. Single mom and successful business women until 46, first marriage..
things changed soon after realized I may have made a terrible mistake. My believe my husband told may half truths, being "retired", when really he just doesn't want to work.
Had some money from an inheritance but not enough to live on the rest of his life ..only 50.
He thought I would work and he would watch tv, and sleep? I am a real estate investor and broker...well in the US that went to hell. So I have spend all my saving and have no income.
We have a pre-nup so he has me over a barrel. He yells, calls me names, doesn't take care of himself, has had heart attack, retinal bleeding, uncontrolled diabetes, gangrene amputated toes etc.... 3 years of constant illness due to his denial of his condition and not taking care of himself(I am former RN makes me crazy)
Fast forward, started not only verbally abusing me, started pushing me, throwing water on me, pulling my hair..the more he does the more I drink..cycle, the reason drinking is not an option for me any more, he is using my drinking to justify his actions..
Depression set in...you know the drill, overwhelm with how to proceed with my life
Stop drinking is my first step...
I won't let that happen, it just makes me so mad, I have been taking supp., no craving etc mental when is acting mean...but hasn't touch me since I stopped, he has no excuse anymore. Maybe this is what I need to give up Al for good.
I feel great, stronger and stronger every day. I do therapy, never was really honest about my drinking but will be next time, "no treatment" for me...if I am going to be a single mom again I need life insurance, if you answer that ? Al abuse treatment ...you can't get it, or it's too expensive.
My hopelessness is lifting, my depression is lifting all thanks to reading all your supportive posts.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you from your silent reader..
Sorry it was so long...hard to put 20 years in a quick note
Gail:thanks:
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