new,scared to post, my story

[resolved]

Hi All,:new:
Scare to post, scared not to??? go figure
Been reading all your great post and have been a huge help.
Day 10 AF, Al is just not an option period for me any more. I finally got all the things its robbing me from life.
My history, started drink wine to sleep, only more during really stressful times. Single mom and successful business women until 46, first marriage..
things changed soon after realized I may have made a terrible mistake. My believe my husband told may half truths, being "retired", when really he just doesn't want to work.
Had some money from an inheritance but not enough to live on the rest of his life ..only 50.
He thought I would work and he would watch tv, and sleep? I am a real estate investor and broker...well in the US that went to hell. So I have spend all my saving and have no income.
We have a pre-nup so he has me over a barrel. He yells, calls me names, doesn't take care of himself, has had heart attack, retinal bleeding, uncontrolled diabetes, gangrene amputated toes etc.... 3 years of constant illness due to his denial of his condition and not taking care of himself(I am former RN makes me crazy)

Fast forward, started not only verbally abusing me, started pushing me, throwing water on me, pulling my hair..the more he does the more I drink..cycle, the reason drinking is not an option for me any more, he is using my drinking to justify his actions..
Depression set in...you know the drill, overwhelm with how to proceed with my life
Stop drinking is my first step...

I won't let that happen, it just makes me so mad, I have been taking supp., no craving etc mental when is acting mean...but hasn't touch me since I stopped, he has no excuse anymore. Maybe this is what I need to give up Al for good.

I feel great, stronger and stronger every day. I do therapy, never was really honest about my drinking but will be next time, "no treatment" for me...if I am going to be a single mom again I need life insurance, if you answer that ? Al abuse treatment ...you can't get it, or it's too expensive.

My hopelessness is lifting, my depression is lifting all thanks to reading all your supportive posts.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you from your silent reader..
Sorry it was so long...hard to put 20 years in a quick note
Gail:thanks:

[resolved]

new,scared to post, my story

sorry I think I put this in the wrong place forgive me

[Gold]

new,scared to post, my story

Hi Resolved,

There is no wrong place, no need to apologise. Well done on 10 days AF especially when your circumstances have been so hard.

Good to hear that you are growing stronger and stronger and have a plan to improve your life. Stay close there is loads of support for you here, silent or otherwise.

[sunshine_gg]

new,scared to post, my story

There is no wrong place, resolved

Welcome.. glad you came out of the shadows!
My, it sounds like you've been having a tough time So, your new resolve is even more impressive. Well done on 10 days AF! Awesome!

I can somewhat relate to your mate and his view of 'retirement'... was in one of those as well until a few years ago.

Please keep reading and posting... and let us know how we can help you!

[sunshine_gg]

new,scared to post, my story

LOL Gold.. x-post!

[Lavande]

new,scared to post, my story

Hi resolved,

Welcome, so glad you found us! You have a good, solid start, good for you
Please feel free to join us on the 'Newbies Nest' thread, we'd love to get to know you better and help if we can.

Again, congrats on your 10 days, stay close!
Lavande

[brightlite]

new,scared to post, my story

Hugs to you Resolved. I am in real estate too and formerly in an abusive relationship....so I feel your pain. Hang in there and keep posting, you are doing really well at 10 days AF.

[resolved]

new,scared to post, my story

Thanks all:h
I really feel the support, and I really proud of myself. I have done more in the last 10 days for myself, my daughter and my life than I have in a long time.
Gail

[AMELIA]

new,scared to post, my story

Hello from me too Resolved! (Sending you a big hug across the waters from the UK!).:l
Please stay close to the boards and use them as another 'support' for yourself and your growth at the moment.
I too think that given your circumstances that 10 days AF is a great achievement.

It seems from your post that you have figured out what is working for you (being AF) and what doesn't work for you (your marriage as it is at the moment). Do get some legal advice and keep doing what you are doing with your therapy. You will keep on getting stronger and stronger.
Good for you. You can resolve this.

Warmest wishes.
Amelia
Ps- good choice of name Resolved

[Guest]

new,scared to post, my story

Gail --

Much support to you. Sadness for the history. Kudos for your gumption and moxy (two of my favorite words).

Keep posting here and gather support from some very strong people.

Best to ya.

[Peanut]

new,scared to post, my story

Hi Gail - I'm here too! You are not alone.
xoxo peanut

[mario]

new,scared to post, my story

:welcome: resolved and well done on your af days,try and keep to it.There is lots of support and help here for you, keep posting.

[Popeye]

new,scared to post, my story

Hello resolved.
I'm glad you found us and well done indeed on your 10 day AF
You seem to have had enough and garnered the will and strength to get things sorted out, which is great.
I can understand the effect an abusive partner would have on a person. Don't let him have any say in what you do or who you are.
I'm a firm believer in the laws of cause and effect. We can all make things happen that will benefit us and help us to achieve the things we want in life, and you are laying down some good 'causes'.
Good Luck.

[irish eyes]

new,scared to post, my story

Resolved, welcome and well done on AF, loads of support and love here.:welcome:

[resolved]

new,scared to post, my story

Hi All,
I too believe in the "laws of attraction", so I think I attracted my husband to heal some parts of my emotional self that I was afraid of..like becoming a alcoholic, divorce, making a relationship mistake, not being good enough etc....never wanted to be my mother and I was going down the same path. So this relationship has actually been a good thing in many ways(sounds odd) to get me to face my fears, and deal with them once and for all. The abuse has been mostly verbal..not excusing it but...it finally pissed me off enough to give up AL for good, get help, get my power back and not be afraid any more.
Divorce or Great Marriage(only thing I will except, it my have to be with another partner) but I know with or without my husband I am going to thrive without using AL as a crutch.
I have made up my mind, wine(which is all I drank) is not and option or any other AL period.
I can do anything once I make up my mind and commit to myself in my soul.
Enrolled in school today, dusting off my Nursing license until the real estate market get a bit stronger.
All is good.
Thanks for all your :h loving support:thanks:
Gail