why do you drink?

[Savannah]

why do you drink?

This might sound so stupid, but I drink because I'm happy. Does that make sense? In my mind AL makes me happier, but what I'm realizing is it does not. This causes me to have self-pity.. We will all make it through this..

[paula]

why do you drink?

In the past I have used any excuse to drink, happy, sad indifferent. Any reason. I'm just so relieved that I'm not drinking today.

[DancingGirl]

why do you drink?

Good thread Skittles. This is a good exercise, although as Tranqwilly wisely says, thinking this through need not be a prerequisite to doing something about it.

Savannah - maybe it's a Libra thing! I'm a Libra too and I certainly drink to celebrate, to enhance my happiness, etc. The glasses of wine are the icing on the cake (so to speak) of my good day, our fine meal, the lovely afternoon on the patio... My struggle has been convincing myself the the afternoon is just as lovely, the meal just as tasty, and my mood just as good without lubrication. Actually, my mood is better, as I've found out by doing AF days, especially several in a row.

Funny, the boredom thing might be a reason - I've certainly done my share of drinking alone - but I've actually found that when things are really bad, I don't want to drink. My husband had a heart attack 14 years ago (he's fine now) and I remembered it striking me at the time that during the first awful week that I did not have a drop. Curious...

[DeeBee]

why do you drink?

I would drink to loose my inhibitions.
And end up hating myself in the morning.

Oh dear, and another Librian:-)

[Determination]

why do you drink?

sunshine_gg;702024 wrote: To 'enjoy' myself... somehow I manage to think of doing stuff (by myself... ALWAYS by myself) while drinking as FUN. That is, BEFORE I start drinking. Once I start, I run out quickly, do not get done what I've set out to do and end up 'laying down for a few minutes'.

I SOOOO could have written that too! How many times have I started to clean the house, and poured myself a glass of wine to drink while cleaning - only to end up not really cleaning much at all but I sure did polish off the bottle of wine!

[bear73]

why do you drink?

I drank to feel more confident socially, to feel more attractive and less conscious about putting on weight, to feel more open with people,to feel a bit rebellious, to quell anxiety/depression, to have fun, to not worry about being boring,to feel good enough.

I am going to breathe, have regular massages, facials, challenge negative thinking patterns with cbt, develop exercise routine (slowly this time) and take up a hobby.

[Elpis]

why do you drink?

The main reason that I drank was that I liked it. I liked the taste, the “feel” in my mouth, the buzz, the socializing, the subtile arrogance, the “high” that comes when I’ve had way too much but am still sort of awake – that country I can occupy where I am conscious but unlikely to remember what I did or saw while I was there. I liked that.

Then there is the day after. Waking up (or rather coming to) and cursing the new day. Having to go to work despite feeling barely able to do it. My face is red as a beet and I am sweating with the least bit of activity. I radiate heat. I am embarrassed and hate my lack of self-discipline. I am supposed to be a role model when in fact I am a drunk. I recall what the Bible says about drunkards. I am doomed. My body hurts. My liver and pancreas hurts. My family can’t rely on me. I could go on.

What do I do now? I am reading three new books on classical and modern European art. I clean the house a little and cook some. I play Yatzee with my oldest and help the younger one with his lines in the play (I am Lactinus, a brash young man who is stealing the heart of youg Porscha despite her fathers objections). I walk the dog.

I wish I had a drink and I am glad that I choose not to.

E-

[Determination]

why do you drink?

Elpis;702266 wrote:
I wish I had a drink and I am glad that I choose not to.

E-

I really like that phrase - I need to write that down to carry with me as part of my "list" to help me be strong when I am feeling weak.

[hippie37]

why do you drink?

I drank for every reason under the sun (and moon!). I just wasn't emotionally equipped to deal with life because of my insecurities which, for me, stemmed from my childhood. I used anything I could get my hands on, including heroin, just as long as it took me away from reality.

I think I had to go through a process of having to question why I drank and took drugs because I soon learned that the substances and drink were never the problem; I was. Drink was a coping mechanism for deep rooted feelings I had no idea I had, so obviously not being aware of them I had no way of dealing with them. I was always trying to deal with the surface feelings and until I was able to strip those away and get to the core of my issues I was never able to move on. When people ask me today how am I feeling, I be totally honest. If I'm having a shit day I'll tell you "I'm having a shit day!" If I feel like crying because I'm upset or sad I won't hide it. If I continue to hide from my true feelings all's I am doing is adding more layers back on top and eventually I will explode and drink again. So today, having stripped the layers away I remain honest with myself about my feelings and share that with good friends who understand me. That's what keeps me sober.

Peace and Love
Phil
xx

[Stop]

why do you drink?

Love the replies to this thread

I guess the REASONS don't really matter at the end of the day. However, I had an interesting business call with a bartending school

She went on to explain to me that since the Egyptians we have been trying to alter our perception of reality. I also got a long history on alcohol. But why does one get hooked and another can just do it once in awhile?

I know that my crushing anxiety drives is it on, but again....if I gave it up.....I would probably not have the cushing anxiety. Its a double edged sword with AL.

[Doggygirl]

why do you drink?

Stop, I think you are right on target that alcohol / drugs and anxiety / depression / etc. DO go together and it's hard to know which comes first. I just read an interesting book called "Confessions of a former Rx Drug Pusher" that spoke to a lot of those kinds of issues.

I spent a lot of years drinking while trying to understand why I drank. I mistakenly thought that if I knew why I drank then it would be easy to quit. If only I could figure it out LOL. The bottom line is that at 17 I drank because I was insecure (or whatever) and at 50 I drank because I was addicted. For me there has been a huge self discovery process that has been necessary for recovery. However, the problem was never my boss, my spouse, my job, my location, or any of that...it was me the whole time.

For anyone who might be pondering a good order in which to sort all this out, I suggest to first stop drinking, then ponder all those other questions.

DG

[hippie37]

why do you drink?

For anyone who might be pondering a good order in which to sort all this out, I suggest to first stop drinking, then ponder all those other questions.

DG I think this is the best advice I've seen on this forum for a while. It's so simple but I think a lot of people overlook this in the early days of sobriety. I did myself to be honest. Even when I did start getting sober and looked at my reasons I could only see them from a very psychological or intellectual viewpoint and not from a personal one and how they truly effected me.

I used to say I was depressed a lot, even taking anti-depressants for years when in fact today I believe it was an excuse to keep me locked in the cycle of addiction because I was full of fear of trying to cope with life outside of that cycle. What it brought about though was a self full-filling prophecy of doom that kept me in a place I was never really in to begin with. I don't deny depression exists within many alcoholics and the chicken/egg syndrome will be one for debate forever and a day in my eyes. But for me stopping drinking and getting out of that mind set that I was depressed in the first place helped greatly in me moving on. I think it's an overly used word in today's society and particularly with alcoholics. I think there is a big difference in being clinically depressed and feeling depressed because of one's life situation that you CAN change by making the effort to do so. If I hadn't personally I would still be sitting on my arse whining about being depressed which ultimately would lead me back to full-filling the prophecy and drinking again. Hey but guess what? I'm depressed and that's why I'm drinking!! BOLLOX! I was just too scared of living.

Peace and Love
Phil
xx

[sunshine_gg]

why do you drink?

For anyone who might be pondering a good order in which to sort all this out, I suggest to first stop drinking, then ponder all those other questions.

Absolutely right, DG. Thank you.

[Muddle]

why do you drink?

Hippie, thank you for your acknowledgement that there is such a thing as clinical depression. I guess that is why there is no "one size fits all" solution. I believe the strength of this site is that there is room for so many different viewpoints and different ways of achieving the same goal. I don't intend any disrespect to the other views here by sharing mine.

I was mildly depressed as a young teen and deeply depressed in my later teens. I didn't touch alcohol until I was 21. I've also been AF for long periods. For me, AL doesn't change the depression, it just muddles everything up. Being AF makes it clear what is from AL and what is not, so I can make better treatment decisions. But I could be AF for a decade and think positive and keep my chin up and all of the other things people say who have never been there and that wouldn't change the how my brain is wired. Not anyone here, but just my past experience is that when people haven't experienced this kind of depression, they can be hurtful when they mean to help. So I've learned to try to take everything in the spirit in which it is intended. Thank you all so much for being here.

[Guest]

why do you drink?

OK, I've been drinking, and of course I can't read through all your responses, hey I know! Just kidding.
I'm 59 years old. Married to a cheater. Talked to my ex tonight, just because I was drinking, never would have otherwise. I miss my grandkids so much, 3 years, now see it's going to be 4 years before I see them. I am married to an alcoholic,and I am, he has had no kids, and basically I've stayed at home alone for 3 years, maybe my fault, but he has moved on. I still wait on him like he was one of my 4 year old children, but it is futile. My Ex....is willing to help me get out of here, ya, he did exactlly the same thing, but, maybe eventually a way out. NO, not with him, just I own a travel trailer he will allow me to put on his land, I used to own.
I am going to bed, but, just hit home, how when drinking we sell our soul, I've done it alone in an apt., I've put up with a cheating husband. How low do we go? Really, I've sold my sole here for 4 years, because when I'm drinking or not, I just don't feel good enough? Why? I really don't. Why?