Not feeling crash hot today...
Have decided to book a flight back to Australia ( from the UK). Need my family.
This is such a lonely disease. I need to free myself from it in order to have some dignity and be able to love myself.
Feeling rather foolish and my heart is pitter pattering with anxiety.
I thought that as it was only an extra ?1 for an extra shot of vodka I may aswell take advantage of such a generous offer and double up all night.
Had been AF for a beautiful 6 months and have been giving in for a month now and have had memory loss everytime I have drunk, not remembering the last part of the evening and having to be told what I have done ( usually dangerous things like going swimming in the sea at 4am). One evening about 2 weeks ago I fell over and banged my head on the concrete and I still have a very large bump on my head . The 'Yets' are coming to fruition.
I feel ashamed and very sorry for myself otday. Just needed to share today. I need to pick up the pieces.
Sorry,Weird scattered post but my head is a bit cloudy and overwhelmed.
Thanks for reading.
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