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    #1

    Asking for support

    I have been on this site for over a year, and things have improved, but again I feel like a failure as I want to quit completely and always screw up on the weekends. Last night I drank wine and it was fun....but, was up all night tossing and turning, having anxiety, feeling life a loser and knowing that it is JUST NOT WORTH IT! I am so fat that I disgust myself and my right side hurts so I know I am doing damage to my body. I know that I have to stop completely and need to connect with others. So I am taking the plunge and asking for support. I have not really made the effort to communicate with others on this site due to fear and shame, but the time has come to risk it.

    I read doggygirl's story and saw her transformation in six months. I want that for myself. I have the book, supplements and CDs for hypnotherapy, I just need to make a commitment and stick to it. But doing this by myself has just not worked. So...I am open to any comments and help that anyone can offer. Thanks,
    Redhibiscus
    ______________________________
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    #2
    Asking for support

    I'm there with you, red. I was on this site over a year ago, made about 17 days AF and thought I could moderate. Also, I thought my membership expired, so I didn't come back. I was moderating on and off until this horrible couple of weeks of bottle of a wine a day drinking just recently. Like you said, the problem is that it IS fun, but feels so bad after, especially the effect on my self-esteem.

    I am on Day 10 and would not have made it without the support of everyone here. Hope we keep seeing each other around. It felt so good to be finally sick enough of my behavior to say ok, this is Day 1.

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      #3
      Asking for support

      :welcome: redhibiscus we all need help to stop,it cant be done alone,dont have any shame as we are all equal here,no one is above anybody else.:goodjob:


      :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

      Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
      I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

      This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

      Comment

        #4
        Asking for support

        Thanks for responding back. I think one of the most horrible things about this whole drinking thing is the shame and feeling alone the next day. Morning redhibiscus hates nighttime redhibiscus. I mean, I know I will feel like crap, yet when that temptation hits on the weekend, I just give in.

        Tonight I have to go to a wedding reception, and I am determined to not drink. My husband is very supportive and has quit drinking so I have him to help me. But even that has not been enough. I don't know how he can stand me since he has had to go alcohol free for health reasons. I am truly a piece of work...I should have quit when he did. Actually I did for about 50 days and then for some unknown, stupid reason, I drank again and it just kept going.

        I think I need to go to the toolbox and get some good tips. Also, if anyone can suggest anything to help, I would truly appreciate the input. I feel so humble and crappy right now.
        Redhibiscus
        ______________________________

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          #5
          Asking for support

          I have a question - how do you put your mood in your posts?
          Redhibiscus
          ______________________________

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            #6
            Asking for support

            I know the momentary fun is so not worth it. It is really only fun while the drink is going into your mouth - then the effects of the alcohol, a poison really, kick in. The supplements have helped me too but I think the fact that I need emotional support is big. I just don't want to have this problem....who does through.
            Redhibiscus
            ______________________________

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              #7
              Asking for support

              Help. I can't find my mood.
              Redhibiscus
              ______________________________

              Comment

                #8
                Asking for support

                Hi Redhibiscus (what a nice name!)

                The mood - scroll back up to the top. On the righthand side is a little area that should say "Welcome Redhibiscus" (if you are signed on). Then it says "you last visited" then "private messages" then ... "My Mood." Yours should now say "no mood." Click on that and a menu with all kinds of moods will drop down. Choose one, click, and it should appear.

                Further - :welcome:

                The toolbox under "Long term abstainers" has all kinds of ways of dealing with all kinds of AL things. One of my favourites when I start craving "just one" against my better judgement is to procrastinate. I'm not shutting the door (it's too easy to just say what the hell, I'll be good tomorrow), but just putting the first one off. Have something else to drink first. Lemon water is very good because it's good for your liver and doesn't go with wine (which is my personal temptation). "I'll just have a lemon water, and then, if I want, I might have a drink." Then, "I'll just talk to so and so (I'm imagining you at the wedding reception), and then I might have a drink." Then at dinner "I'll finish my water first, then I might have a drink." Then before you know it - the dessert and coffee come and you've made it!

                You are very fortunate your husband is supportive. That's a really, really good thing. Enlist him - ask him to help you, remind you, steer you away from the bar, tell the server neither of you can drink for medical reasons.

                You can do it! And as Mario says, every inch is something.

                Dancing Girl

                Comment

                  #9
                  Asking for support

                  hi red .. you sound like you are ready and you just did your first step in the right direction ..
                  now just keep writing and posting whats on your mind and we are here for you
                  :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                  best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Asking for support

                    Dancing girl
                    Thanks for the procrastination tip. I think I will try that tonight. I have put off buying wine on the way home from work, thinking...I'll just eat something first and maybe the craving will go away. And it has worked more days than most. So, I'll do that tonight.

                    I still cannot find my moods. I have found Welcome RH, where I am logged on, but no private messaging or my mood. It is a mystery to me. Thanks so much for your help.
                    Redhibiscus
                    ______________________________

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Asking for support

                      LOOK FOR THIS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE


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                      :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                      best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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                        #12
                        Asking for support

                        I do not have private message or my moods. Maybe my set up is different. Sorry to be a pain.
                        Redhibiscus
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                          #13
                          Asking for support

                          O.K. I finally enabled PMing and the mood thing popped up. Thanks, finally something is going right in my day. I still feel ill.
                          Redhibiscus
                          ______________________________

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                            #14
                            Asking for support

                            Red, this flower is for you. I hope it brightens your day :h Attached files [img]/converted_files/1019069=5185-attachment.jpg[/img]
                            :l
                            LTG AF January 13, 2011

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                              #15
                              Asking for support

                              Hi redhibiscus,

                              Glad to see you are ready to take the AF plunge!
                              Please feel free to join us on the 'Newbies Nest' thread. Lots of folks there just beginning their journey, like you.

                              Wishing you the best!
                              Lav
                              AF since 03/26/09
                              NF since 05/19/09
                              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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