Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

[redhibiscus]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

It is early Saturday morning here in the good ole Midwest and I woke up extremely grateful that I did not drink last night. We had to go to Chicago for medical stuff and thought about picking up some wine on the way home After reasoning it out, thinking it through, NO WAY!!! I am just shocked at how stupid and insane the reasoning to drink can be. Forgetting about all the stuff you have been through and just blowing off your goals. Especially since slipping up a few days ago, the thoughts have been stronger. It appears that once you mess up, it is harder to go back to AF.

Today will be a healthy day...walking, eating right, filling my day with doing things I like to do and feeling good about it. I wish everyone here luck and more than that planning. I have to plan to do things and be with people and go places that do not have booze, otherwise I have a huge chance of blowing it. Thanks everyone for being here.

[Guitarista]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Nice post, Red.
C'mon! Keep going!

[splint]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

spacebebe01;706256 wrote: i am new to this and am glad to find it. am struggling to get even one day right now but am staying sober today i hope.

yeh I too can relate to this.... we all have something in common.. At this very moment I find it VERY hard to imagine not having a few drinks each night. WOW loads of amazing stories - pure inspiration -

You have inspired me to want to kick this habit now and forever, well overdue SOOO grateful I found MWO. :new:

[puddytat]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Enjoy the weekend RedHibiscus. Sounds like you won't have to be at work around the negative co-worker that wore on you last week. Enjoy being with people you choose to be with, and am happy you made it thru the recent cravings!

Welcome, Splint!

[Determination]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

redhibiscus;718114 wrote: It appears that once you mess up, it is harder to go back to AF.

This totally describes me. I was doing really well and then messed up last week. I was AF on Friday and Saturday and then yesterday....messed up again. I am so mad at myself - so disappointed - so frustrated. :upset:

[Kimberley]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Ah Determin, I know that pattern as well. In fact if I didn't have my parents staying with me at the moment I'm sure I would've cracked by now. I did 4 months no slips last year - even didn't drink on my own and others' birthdays and because I broke it I am finding it very hard to beat my own record, even though I really want to so badly. Can't go more than a month it seems without falling back. I have been 2 weeks AF now, so at least that's something.

Get the duster out Determin - how long do you want to go AF for?

[Determination]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Kimberley - My goal is to be AF forever. As much as I would like to moderate, I know that will not work for me. I have been so focused on making it many days AF, that I am going to slow down and just focus intently on ODAT.

[puddytat]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Kimberley - 2 weeks AF is a lot! Big congratulations.
Determinations, you're doing better than me ... didn't quite make your goal, but look at how many, many days you made it!

I'm probably going to move on to the ODAT thread ... 1 month, even 7 days, are just, like, too big. see you all around the boards, and am so glad to know you! Puddy

[Determination]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Kimberley - 2 weeks is AWESOME!!!

Puddy - I still really want to do 30 days....but I also am going to slow down and take it ODAT so I will be posting over on the ODAT threads too! But....I get inspiration here from those who are able to string together a few days, weeks like Kimberley and over a month like Sunshine, so I will stick around the Fight Club too.

Red - How are you doing?

Elsa - How are you today? Are you going to start posting on the ODAT thread too?

Liath - Please let us know how you are doing...I know you are crazy busy right now, but just know your supporters here are thinking of you.

[namaste]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Hi everyone, just a flyby here, so sorry for no personals. Still putting up the good fight here. 23 days AF today. ODAT is the way to go.

Keeping putting up the good fight! Whatever it takes, it's worth it.

Namaste'

[puddytat]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Great fight Namaste!! hard won, too, with strategy and planning and sacrifice. I'm so happy for you.

Determination, you sound in good spirits ... best to you, you winner you! see ya on the ODAT.

good vibes to all the Fight Club to stay strong and true to your highest self,

[redhibiscus]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

This is a hard post for me....on Saturday I drank a whole bottle of wine. Bad move. Really bad move. From the first glass I did not feel right. So, I decided to have coffee after the wine. Another bad move. I fell asleep, the wine wore off, and I was up at 2:00 a.m. and could not go back to sleep. Full blown anxiety for hours. It was hell. Then I felt sick the whole day. Horrible pain on my right side. It must be my liver. Headache, sweating, achy....etc. I am so scared and disgusted with myself. I felt sick on Monday and almost did not go to work, but forced myself and felt better throughout the day. Slept 11 hours Monday night and felt normal Tuesday...but the self-loathing is hard to live with.

I cannot drink again, ever. Period. Case closed. It was not even fun or relaxing. From the first drink I felt weird...it felt wrong physically. Emotionally it was also devastating. The anxiety was terrible. I know this is the insanity of addiction. Thinking that the outcome will be great, when you now from past experience that it won't be.

Thanks all for being here and reading my post. By being honest with you and myself, I am starting over again and realize that my reaction to alcohol is getting worse and worse. I have only drank two times in September and it has been horrible. I will keep close to this site and keep posting. I know intellectually what to do but need to keep on track. I am determined to stay sober from 9/20/09.

[mollyka]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

im a complete mess

[Determination]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Mollyka - What can we do to help?

Red - Hugs to you! Perhaps the experience that you had this weekend will really help reinforce your motivation to stay sober - that is the "silver lining" for you. Lord knows how many times I have messed up - I fight, fight and then cave....and I am so tired of the vicious cycle. Don't beat yourself up - just look forward!

[Liath]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Oh Red! I am sorry that you had that experience! That is what happens to me when I drink. I am also pretty disgusted with myself as I drank on Saturday. I only studied for a few hours and then was useless on Sunday. I was forced to wonder, have I lost all control? Will nothing stop me from doing this to myself. My boyfriend was very angry and said I was catatonic when he got home. The humiliation! Well maybe I cracked under pressure, but I am SO SO sick of it! Yesturday I had a full blown panic attack. Thank god I am on second shift this week, so it is much easier to stay sober. My test and other deadlines are looming and I can't afford to fall apart now.

Sorry I dropped off there for a bit. I am OK now and working very hard. I have studied A LOT for this test and am still not ready. Darn.

Puddy- I hope you know that many of us on this thread are taking things ODAT and you are welcome here no matter where you are at with this. If that was not the case, I'd have to kick myself off my own thread!

Mollyka- I know your feelings of desperation. I have been there, recently.. Please talk to us!

Kim- Your back posting! Yeah!

Back to the books. Geometry- mixed figures and solids.

LOVE,