Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

[trasi]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

hi I would like to join found MWO today the thing I hate the most is the more i thing about quitting the more i drink its like iam on a rollercoster and i cant get off

[RebeccaV11]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Hi again Trasi, fo me now the off-sales are closing and I have just made up a fresh bed and I am going to have a bath and go to bed. I am so tired.

I don't know what time zone you are in but hang on in there and hopefully I will see you tomorrow here.

Rebecca

[sunshine_gg]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Hello Fighters!

Welcome Trasi & Rebecca! Glad you are joining us!
Sparkle... yep, when all else fails, back track and start over! Re-reading the book may not be a bad idea for many or any of us! I may join you!

Namaste, congrats! Sounds like you are winning one battle after another over there! Well done!

Puddy.. how are you feeling today? Day 2, yes?

Ladies (Beagle & Jackie)... now, if THAT image won't put you off, I don't know what will! :H

Wishing you all a great AF Tuesday - keep fighting!

[Determination]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Hello Everybody!

Redhibicus - I am so proud of you for staying AF on Friday! I'm not sure that I would have been able to discuss with DH and change plans. Stress is my biggest hurdle.

Puddytat - How are you doing with the fight?

Welcome Rebecca and Trasi - glad to have you on board this month.

Namaste - you are doing so well - what an inspiration for me!

Sunshine -how was your weekend?

Did better than expected camping. My big downfall was not having a plan, i.e. I don't want my family to know that I have an AL problem. I should have planned in advance on a reason why I couldn't drink instead of just saying "no". So, stayed AF 1 day ... and the other days had 2 beers - so stayed sober. The beers didn't even taste good - and so in addition to recognizing stress as a trigger and having a plan to deal with it. I know now to think ahead for a reason to say "no".

[puddytat]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Hi Fighters! Day 2 - yes, thanks for asking (GG & Determination):

Good! H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)

H. Hungry Not!! grocery -shopped (step one), mostly getting enough GOOD stuff - boiled a dozen hard-boiled eggs on hand for breakfast, 10 lbs of potatoes to nuke for a little late-night snack (a la "Potatoes not Prozac"), baked chicken for chicken salad ... important for me to regulate blood-sugar.

T. Tired Had the longest REM sleep ever last night (like 3 hrs -- still!) Have learned to sleep on my side, with chin pressed to my arm (to keep my mouth shut!) ... and avoid disruptive sleep-apnea. Last-night managed to keep the position instead of tossing and turning.

It makes a difference in my arsenal for fighting ... for me at least. fingers-crossed for one and all. Puddy

[Liath]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Hi everyone, and welcome to the newbies Trasi and Rebecca. I am not dropping off the face of the planet but I am working non-stop on my graduate school application. Eight hours so far today and just now I have time to study for the GRE. At the end of all that, believe me, I want a beer but none in the house so temptation averted. At the very least, I don't have time for AL now. My brain can't be distracted or impaired by AL. So.. if it seems like I have disapeared, I just have an insane deadline and no time to even think about AL.

Love you guys!!!

[sunshine_gg]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Great news! (Kinda) :H

Wishing you stamina and success with your studies, Liath! Been missing you!

Puddy... oh my... 3 hours is good, is it??? Well, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better... here's to maybe a 5-hour REM night???

Determination.. Good for you, for not overdoing it on the weekend. Mine was as good as could be expected and AF. Btw.. I've come to the conclusion that you really don't need a REASON to say no... nobody really seems to care. Just bring your own bevvie of choice and that's that

Rebecca, a bath and early crawl into bed sounds wonderful! See you tomorrow! Sleep tight!

To all before and all to come.. hope you had a rewarding AF day and wishing the same for tomorrow!

[sparkleAZ]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Hi everyone, I have made it 3 days AL free. It has been a struggle but I have hung in there. I sure am a crabby old lady but it is better than a crabby drunk old lady. Sober 5 out of 9, not too bad for me. My big concern is that my sister is coming to visit this Saturday for 10 days. That my friends will be a challenge.

[Muddle]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

The H.A.L.T. really seems to be true. Tonight I came home lonely and hurt over something someone had done (and I think hurt is really another dimension of anger). I at least delayed with an AF drink and kuzdu. Then I caved a little, but am stopping now.

I think it is easier to fix tired and hungry than lonely and hurt. Even as I caved, I realized the real solution is to find a way to deal with negative emotions that doesn't involve AL. I think "normal" people develop those tools. We drink (or used to for you successful abstainers!) to deal with those emotions.

In the past, since my husband was the heavy, morning till bed, hard liquor drinker, his problem received the focus and my "problem drinking" (at night after work, after the bills were paid, high functioning drinking) was never really identified. I did lots of co-dependent work, which made me more self aware. I went to an anger management class that said that (in general) men in our culture can express anger openly. Women have a more difficult time admitting their anger since it isn't considered "ladylike" or "lovable" to yell. For men, it is "macho." So sometimes women's negative emotions are expressed through dependent or co-dependent behaviors.

What do you all think?

[sparkleAZ]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

I agree in many ways of what you said. I also think it is a generational aspect of the "ladylike or loveable" way of handling yelling. I myself always held my temper at bay in my younger years. I always took everything very personally. If there was bad feelings going around I always figured it was directed at me. As I matured for some reason I am more easily able to express my feelings and

[puddytat]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Hi folks, I caved on Day 3. Feel horrible. Maisie, glad you're taking care of yourself and getting some focus on you. I'll bet you felt really overshadowed by your husband's problems. Hmmm, getting me thinking (hard to do this morning with this hangover -- :bang:

I think men are by nature and nurture more aggressive in general, including expressing anger overtly. Whereas often women end up more covert about aggression (passive-aggressive) and stuffing their anger. Myself, I come from a line of openly aggressive matriarchs, so I didn't experience this dynamic in the family (quite the opposite, in fact!), but in school and general public definitely learned that girls were supposed to be passive and genteel.

H.A.L.T. Hungry and Tired are definitely more in our control, and I owe it to myself and my longed-for sobriety to at least keep these in check as much as possible.

Angry (hurt, disappointed, unfairness, ...) and Lonely (misunderstood, unappreciated, bored, ...) are feelings that are HUGE triggers, and I don't handle them well. Haven't developed the skills as an adult because I'm a drunk, and really didn't have a fighting chance to develop them as a kid, while being rasied by the crazy narcissistic angry matriarch!

Wanted to salute you all who are fighting hard and succeeding! Good luck Liath with GRE prep, and Sparkle -- glad you've made it to Day 3.

I feel like crap today -- but felt soooo good earlier in the week, AL-free. Goal: REMEMBER that sober feels better. and ODAT. peace

[Determination]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Morning everybody!

Puddy - don't beat your head against the wall too hard. I know I have been there before and asked myself the same questions. Each time there is a set back I look at it as a learning opportunity -what was the trigger. Now I am focusing on developing a plan for the triggers.

Maisie - I think you make a very good point about how others develop ways of dealing with those negative emotions - anger, depression, loneliness - and somehow I know that I found that wine was a great help with those emotions. It mellowed me out and made me SEEM happier. I was so surprised when I went almost 2 weeks AF how much happier and better I felt AF. But those triggers are very powerful and strong - stress from work is a huge trigger for me - as is drinking in social settings to hide the fact that I quit drinking, i.e. I don't want my extended family and friends to know that I struggle with AL addiction. I know that for my long term benefit I should tell them, but I am just so ashamed that for now....I need to have a band-aid - an excuse if you will for not drinking AL.

Liath - good luck with the GRE!!!!

Sparkle - keep up the good work - I am so proud of you!!

Sunshine - I hear ya....intellectually I truly do think that nobody will care what I am drinking - emotionally I am just not there yet if that makes any sense!

[namaste]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Hello Fighters!
10 days and I'm still going strong. Self love, compassion, rest and purpose are keeping me in the ring. Purpose is big...I am at a place in my life that I know if I continue to drink that I am making a conscious choice between my dreams and sabotaging them. My dreams and the reality of them manifesting are bigger than the little scared me that would rather run from them with the drink. Taking care of myself and using the tools is giving me strength. This time (there have been many) I have not depended as much on sheer will..I have definitely been more humble and leaned on the supplements and the topamax and a LOT of sleep and rest, treating my body as a fragile and abused thing that needs to be tended and cared back to health. Be gentle with yourself. Go be with nature and nurturing things.
Namaste'

Good for us all for putting up the Good Fight!

[Determination]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Namaste - Congrats on 10 days .... and how hard you are working at it. I'm so proud of you!

[mollyka]

Welcome to Fight Club- September Edition

Hi Everyone
thought you'd all gone somewhere else I was missing ye!! 12 days af today but struggling all of a sudden. The urge to drink is HUGE and it has'nt been up til now. I read somewhere that round day 14 can be tough, anyone know why? Anyway came home from work this evening and AL was screaming in my brain to have a drink, I remembered a tool 'urge surfing' in other words let the mad urge pass, and it does, had coffee to put in my mouth and quickly made a dinner and now, its gone!! I feel good but terrified that the next one I won't be able to deal with. I CANT see myself doing this for the rest of my life, its like part of me is missing. Chin up Puddy, you back on straight and narrow. Last time I slipped I was back on AL for 5 months, this is SO HARD