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    #1

    In pain

    I am so confused and hurting in the fact that I feel that my daughter is starting to have a problem with beer. It isnt that she drinks all of the time but when she does she has to get drunk. She likes the taste of beer, but she knows she shouldn't get drunk but is like she can't keep from it. I have talked until I am blue in the face and just when I think she is getting better she does it again. She is in bad relationship and I feel like she is drinking to deal with it. I am so scared for her. But as much as I LOVE her I told her tonight that until she gets help I did not want her to come around. I can not and will not watch her ruin her life. But now I feel like maybe I was wrong to be so hard on her. But then I feel like it is tough love. PLEASE help me help her.

    MEL
    Tags: None
    #2
    In pain

    Hi, Mel. I can't offer much advice, but you have come to the right place. Have a read through the "Family Members Affected by Drinking" threads. Others will also be along with more info for you
    I'll do whatever it takes
    AF 21/08/2009

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      #3
      In pain

      Hi Mel
      You need to give your daughter Love and comfort, especially if she is already in a bad relationship, personally I would reconsider what you said about not wanting your daughter round anymore as I think this will make her turn to AL even more as she has no-one to talk to. Have you mention this site to her?
      And as tip has mentioned why not try out the family members forum.
      Good luck
      :dancin: enguin:
      starting over

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        #4
        In pain

        Hi Mel
        I agree with Ronnie, if my mum had said that to me when I was drinking heavily, I would have unrationally thought "what the hell".
        It must be difficult for you and I know you are worried about her but perhaps suggest the site to her, I don't know if she will accept it or not.

        Good luck
        It's time I put my big girl pants on. :grannypants: I hope they fit.

        Comment

          #5
          In pain

          My fourteen year old daughter has started to drink in the house, but this was because my husband and I allowed this. Our 17 year old son would have a beer at the w/e with his dinner and we stated to allow her to have a drink as well. I now am trying to stop this. I feel it is my fault for letting this happen.

          My daughter thinks now she has a right to her Sat night drink. When I suggested she didn't have anything this weekend she had a bit of a strop.

          I wouldn't tell your daughter not to come round, she probably needs you more than ever, but you have to decide yourself.

          I am going to organise things for the w/e that don't involve alcohol, maybe go to the cinema or bowling where minors can't be served and break this bad family habit we have got into.

          Is there something you can do that will distract her from using alcohol as a crutch?

          Soz for including my problems but only using as an illustration for what I am planning to do to stop this.

          Comment

            #6
            In pain

            Mel - it's good that you recognized your daughter's problem before it is too out of control. But the sad thing is, teenagers (by Definition!) are rebellious and being told they "should" do something often makes them want to do that Very thing!

            She may not fully realize all the bad things that could happen as a result of drinking. And she may not understand that if she continues, something bad WILL eventually happen. What if you reminded her of a few of those things, including if she gets caught while driving... she may lose that privilege!

            Losing something that is important to her may make her stop and think.

            If you come to her from a position of love and caring, she may not rebel as much.

            What if you printed out a few of the horror stories from this site? While she may say, well, those people are losers and that wouldn't happen to ME... some of it may sink in.

            Good luck!!
            Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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              #7
              In pain

              Hi Mel. You must be worried sick about your daughter. I'm sure my parents felt as you do now when I was a teen and doing exactly what your daughter is doing. I was rebellious as others have mentioned. But boy if there would have been something that could have been done to save me from years of progressive alcoholism.......

              Anway. I really like and agree with Sheri's suggestion that you may want to contact Alanon just to see what they are all about. Their expertise is dealing with close people who have issues with alcohol so they would at least have some experienced advice to offer - and then you can choose to take it or not.

              Best wishes to you and your daughter..

              DG
              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

              One day at a time.

              Comment

                #8
                In pain

                hi mel,what do i say with out hurting you,he sees whats going on around her,her choice,NOT YOURS,you have enuff to wrry about gyks

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                  #9
                  In pain

                  hi again mel,give her hug wish the best to her ive raised with my wife 4,kids they turned out ok, sorry my face is puffy mdod bit me this morning im at a loss

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