Very cross Husband

[Lovebug]

No matter how hard I try, I just cannot seem to control my drinking. I always tell myself that I will have one or two but it always ends up being more until I pass out drunk AGAIN. Why can I not control myself? My hubbie has gone away for the week and is so angry with me. We had a lovely weekend and then on Sunday afternoon I ruined it all by getting drunk and passing out. I also had a nasty fall and have torn a ligament in my knee. I can tell myself that I wont drink again but am so scared about how hard it is to stop especially as all of our friends drink quite a bit.....Feel so down and not sure how to make hubbie talk to me. He is away and totally angry and doesn't want to know me...Despite saying sorry, etc, etc, he says that my sorry's are empty words because he knows I will do it again....

[ChickenNumber3]

Very cross Husband

Lovebug!

He obviously needs some time away...let him have it and allow yourself that same time to 'plan' your attack on alcohol! Without having to spend your time apologising,explaining and feeling guilty..you can use it to start getting well!
Then talk to him and show him your plan and that you are working on it!
Hope that helps
Chicken

[SKendall]

Very cross Husband

Hi lovebug and welcome. This site was started by a wonderful person who made it her business to control her own drinking. I would suggest you download her book, take her advice, and take this one day at a time. There are also threads for Newbie's who are struggling, and I think you can support one another.

Good Luck.

[DeeBee]

Very cross Husband

Lovebug, i was exactly where you were more than a year ago. My hubby went overseas for 10 days and I used every single one of them to "let my hair down"! He arrived home a day early to find me horribly hung over and not even able to open the beautiful presents he bought me.
My drinking is not where I want it to be, but in the year that i've been here, I've regained my husbands trust and have NEVER ever put myself back in that position again.

If I can do it then so can you:-)

Start by downloading the book and then get a plan together.

[Lovebug]

Very cross Husband

Thank you so much for all your support. DeeBee please could you tell me HOW to cut down - is it all in the book that I should download?

:thanks:

[Mad Mummy]

Very cross Husband

Hi Lovebug

Sending so much sympathy and empathy to you! I know exactly where you are from my own experience. It's going to be tough to break the cycle you're in but you can do it. This site is such a find, the non-judging support, kindness and friendship available here is priceless.

I'm attempting to moderate but at the moment have to admit for me its a whole lot easier to not drink at all - read the book you'll relate so much of your story in there, it was a huge shock to me cos I thought it was only me that had this kind of problem.

Be strong!

Bx

[DeeBee]

Very cross Husband

Yes Lovebug,
Dowload the book. It will help you to get a plan together.
Keep reading and posting.
There is also a thread called the Mod Squad which I would suggest you read before deciding whether you'd like to try and drink moderately -- it's not necessarily the easy option.

[Lavande]

Very cross Husband

Hi Lovebug,

We all seem to wait until we hit 'rock bottom' before we make th effort to quit drinking. Sounds as if you have found your bottom!!

Right now you need to just stop all together - forget about moderating! You need to clear your head & get some good AF time under your belt, at least 30 days!
Read the book, sit down & make your plan. Look at the Toolbox in the Monthly Abstinence thread. It's full of good ideas to help you make your plan & get started.

I was in your exact place 6 months ago. My husband of 36 years actually did walk out on me for 2 months. I was hurt, angry & humiliated! Most of all, I was disgusted with myself!
I made the commitment to go AF for 30 days, it was hard but I did it. At that point I asked myself if I was ready for just 1 or 2 glasses of wine & my answer was a resounding NO!!!
I decided to stay AF, it is the best decision for me & everyone around me. I am now happy, healthy, calm & relaxed for the 1st time in nearly 10 years!!!!

I wouldn't have it any other way
You can do this too but you have to make the commitment and do the work!
Please feel free to join us on the 'Newbies Nest' thread, we'll be glad to help you along.

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[Determination]

Very cross Husband

Hi Lovebug -

I am so sorry that you are hurting and feeling so depressed and alone. You have come to the right place. As others have posted, other members have experienced exactly what you are going through - you are NOT alone. As others have posted, you need to work on a plan. Just focus on ODAT.

I know that it may seem scary and lonely to go without AL. I was worried - what am I going to do in the evenings? Drinking WAS my relaxation time at night. I have found that being AF (and I am at the very beginning of my journey) is actually so much better. It is hard to believe, but it is so true.

You can do it - you may not think you have the courage or strength to do it, but I know that you can. We are here to support you!

[puddytat]

Very cross Husband

Lovebug, similar story?!! I roached my knee last March (tore the medial collateral ligament).
But kept drinking, and fell drunk a few more times and tore the other side, and then finally tore the ACL. My knee is a total mess now.

Your knee is going to be delicate for a for a few months. You can't afford to be hammered and stumbling around on it. (Don't do what I did.)

fingers-crossed for you. Puddy