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[tawnywitch]

I have just found this quote by C.S.Lewis
I thought it fitted everyone here very well.

Friendship is born at the moment when one person say's to another,"What you too? I thought I was the only one."

[hippie37]

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Couldn't agree more tawny and is why fellowship works for me (amongst many other reasons!). But the main reason is that I can identify with these people at a level I cannot even communicate to my family and non-alcoholic/addict friends. That feeling I got over 14 years ago when I first walked into a meeting was priceless. I just wasn't ready to give up the drink and drugs back then. I still needed to reach that point of complete chaos in my head and that feeling of being a broken man before I could finally reach out and say "I cannot do this anymore, I need the love and understanding of fellow alcoholics/addicts to help me through this." When I was ready to do that and open my heart and listen to what was on offer and became willing to change; that feeling "What you too? I thought I was the only one." became a thing of the past and turned into something like, "I am not alone anymore".

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[one2many]

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Love this Tawnywitch and I think ever so apt for here!

Thanks for posting...

Nice post Hipps.

[tawnywitch]

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it's so good to feel you can say just about anything here isn't it? I still haven't told my H, I'm sure he has noticed that I m not drunk everynight but just doesn't like to say anything, when he used to comment on it I would go mad at him, usually because I was pissed but also because I was so ashamed that I was like that.

[hippie37]

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It didn't matter who was in the firing line with me tawny. If they got in the way of my drinking they were gonna get an ear full. I couldn't handle the frustrations of not being able to do what I wanted because I was very much a control freak. I controlled how I felt by using alcohol and substances. I controlled how people perceived me because I hated the thought of anyone disliking me. I tried to control my drinking (very unsuccessfully might I add!!). I just about tried to control everything in my life. I always needed to have an answer to everything (black and white thinking) because I was such a perfectionist as well. So it was far easier for me to drink than face up to the consequences of being, in my eyes, a failure and feeling inferior to everyone else. When I got that feeling of not being alone anymore it was the greatest feeling because I finally felt connected with the world for once in my life. I wasn't connected with my family at all. I thought I was, but I was deluding myself because we were still on talking terms. I think the stronger you get that connection with other alcoholics the easier things become in your home life as well. Hopefully that will give you the courage to talk openly and honestly with your husband about your drinking.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[mario]

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hippie37;721601 wrote: It didn't matter who was in the firing line with me tawny. If they got in the way of my drinking they were gonna get an ear full. I couldn't handle the frustrations of not being able to do what I wanted because I was very much a control freak. I controlled how I felt by using alcohol and substances. I controlled how people perceived me because I hated the thought of anyone disliking me. I tried to control my drinking (very unsuccessfully might I add!!). I just about tried to control everything in my life. I always needed to have an answer to everything (black and white thinking) because I was such a perfectionist as well. So it was far easier for me to drink than face up to the consequences of being, in my eyes, a failure and feeling inferior to everyone else. When I got that feeling of not being alone anymore it was the greatest feeling because I finally felt connected with the world for once in my life. I wasn't connected with my family at all. I thought I was, but I was deluding myself because we were still on talking terms. I think the stronger you get that connection with other alcoholics the easier things become in your home life as well. Hopefully that will give you the courage to talk openly and honestly with your husband about your drinking.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

phil sometimes in your posts i can relate to everything you say (as above) but find it hard to say it thanks.

[dancelot]

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Tawny -
That is exactly what I felt when I found MWO! Fabulous quote. Thanks for posting.

[tawnywitch]

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I feel my halo is shining today, so gla d I found everyone here,will try and talk to my husband tonight, obviously he know's I drink too much but he has given up suggesting that I cut down because I go ballistic whenever he implies that I drink too much, I was so ashamed , I knew I was a drunk,and it was so onvious to him, oh so stupid, I really hope it's all behind me now.

[Doggygirl]

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Hi tawny! I love the quote that you opened this thread with. And Hippie you have an awesome way with words and honesty!

tawny, we didn't talk much in my marriage about my excessive (putting it mildly) drinking either. I lashed out with all claws. I was not ready to discuss the truth. I guess for many / most of us, there really isn't much anyone else can say. We have to find our own way to a place where we can face our own truth.

For me, once I finally face the truth about my alcoholism and started the journey (not always easy!) to sobriety, things got much better in my marriage. I know it doesn't always work out that way for every couple. But at least when you are ready to discuss your alcohol issues honestly with your spouse, you have a chance.

Sometimes things along this path feel a lot like jumping out of an airplane for the first time. Scary. But venturing forward sober into the world, and learning about ourselves is so worth it. I hope the discussion with Mr. tawny is a good one for you and your relationship with him.

Strength and hope,

DG

[Angelcakes]

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tawnywitch;721509 wrote: I have just found this quote by C.S.Lewis
I thought it fitted everyone here very well.

Friendship is born at the moment when one person say's to another,"What you too? I thought I was the only one."

So beautiful - thanks Tawnywitch. I 'get' you too!!

xo

[Mstall]

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Thanks tawny!

This thread in it's entirity (word?) was wonderful for me to read tonight.

[bobbo]

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The quote that always sticks in my head and I will put in my posts if I can ever figure out how to do it is from Clint Eastwoods movie, "Unforgiven".

He was an admitted drunk who did some horrific things. When prompted to act that way again he said, "I'm not like that anymore"
:

[bobbo]

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He was talking to a young man who thought he was somewhat of a hero for killing men in the old and wild west and Clint Eastwood had stopped his drinking with the help of his wife Claudia many years previous.