October - Fight Club

[Kimberley]

October - Fight Club

Hi RedH and Puddy -good to "see" you both! And a warm welcome to Foxtrot

And a special big :grouptrophy: I think on behalf of The Fight Club to SunnyGG for doing two months! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! !! By the way I want one of those as well, when I get there!

Yeah the DBT - there are two books which are recommended:

Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosis & Treatment of Mental Disorders: Amazon.co.uk: Marsha Linehan: Books

and

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook: Amazon.co.uk: Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, Jeffrey Brantley: Books

Both of these are used in group therapy programmes, but they are a bit pricey. I don't care about that - I will be getting both if I find the DBT stuff stuff is having an effect. It will be worth it! But there is plenty of free stuff on line about it if you look.

This is the free course - beware they set you homework on Saturdays and will kick you off the group if you don't do it!!! This is what I need though, as it is more structured and will force me to participate even if I'm feeling 'wilful' (ie giving up and wallowing - ouch harsh!)

Here is the link: dbtclass : DBT Online Classes
Good luck guys - I'm committing to this.

[Bree]

October - Fight Club

Hi all,
Sorry I haven't been here for ages, sooo busy in work at the moment.
I'm still AF, but not totally, I have had a few AL drinks, since I last spoke to you all.
I had a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend, but I'm doing fine at home. No drinking AL at all at home, even though theres been an open bottle of wine left over from visitors in my fridge for the past few weeks.......time to chuck it, I think!!
So glad to here you are all doing well, way to go Sunshine:goodjob: I'm really pleased for you.
Hope everyone is in good form today.

Bree:l

[redhibiscus]

October - Fight Club

Good morning everyone. Still struggling with thoughts of wine, but I am able to do the ole cost benefit analysis. I think I need some time off, and next week will be out of town for a few days, and that will help. Physically, I am good. Maybe it has something to do with fall, it is dark alot, and here in the Midwest it is getting cold. For some reason I am having a hard time dealing with it this year.

Sunny, you are doing so well. You are a positive person in all our lives. Thanks so much.

Kimberly, hope you are feeling better and stronger everyday!

To everyone else, keep on fighting, the weekend is coming up and that can be a challenging time for the fight club.

[1967]

October - Fight Club

g morning.
even though i've no time for me just now i have to make time for this site.
i looked around quickly and i am thinking this might be where i belong.
i see lots of people who are not new but struggling like me to get free and clear of alcohol.
i'm not trying to moderate by the way, i want to stop completely. i can't moderate... i will drink as much as i think i can safely get home at a sitting and it always starts with 'just one.'
i'm not quitting because of family problems, i'm quitting because too much wine effects my ability to enjoy life and work and to hopefully once and for all face my empty personal life.
(not sure if that is such a fun idea?)
i've subscribed to the thread so i can get updates during the day.
sometimes i can read them in my email, and sometimes not.
is there something i can do so i can see them all the time?

(i feel a little like i'm talking to myself although it never has the same effect as this website).
enjoy the day all.

[puddytat]

October - Fight Club

Hi guys, I made it thru yesterday! sweaty palms and all. feeling pretty good today, too. Alert was with my dear sister and nieces at night ... just warma nd cozy.
Hi 1967, welcome to Fight Club. you're living, uh, somewhere tropical? away from 'home' country as I recall (from your other posts around the board). THAT can be tough getting a personal life together in a foreign place. best to you
I've never subscribed to a thread! sounds like agood idea to get updates
Bree, welcome back! sounds like you're doing pretty well? hanging in with a very busy schedule, yes?
Hi RedH, if you've got old red wine, cook it up in a nice boeuf bourginogne (spelling?) and toss the rest, eh?
Did anyone see the movie "Julie & Julia", about American cooking show pioneer Julia Child? I was hungry during the whole film! especially all the beef in wine. I liked the film - Meryl Streep never ceases to amaze me -- she can channel anyone!

Sunni, know what you mean about not getting things done. At least you're doing it sober, and making that you're priority while you build the habit. that's important.

My taxes are due in less than a week -- still not close to getting them done - what am I thinking??!! not thinking. avoiding.

Kimberley, the DBT link - thank you. good to have homework, to solidify the concepts. curious what you think of the lessons, and Sunni if you join in, might be able to PM some study-buddies. or share stories. sometimes I've found it too abstract to apply

See you all soon, hey Determination, and all the rest. Puddy

[1967]

October - Fight Club

again no real time to focus on this (me, i mean).
it's almost time to head to work.
i wish there were more posts on this thread throughout the day.. i only got one yesterday but it was at the right time... before i headed home!
good day all!

[Kimberley]

October - Fight Club

Hi Bree,
Welcome back - it's good to see that you are controlling yourself ;-) I'm glad you're doing well.

Red, you're doing great - I wish I was able to do cost benefit analysis. My emotional side is too strong, and I woud probably conclude that I 'deserved' it if I was having a hard time or something!

Hey 1967, I'm glad you've found a place where you can just 'talk' it out - even if it feels like it's with yourself sometimes! If you have subscribed, make sure you choose the option 'instant email notification' so you get an email as soon as someone posts.

Puddy, great job on making it through a 'Red Alert ' situation!! I think you are sometimes hard on yourself, but you achieve so much really.

Anyone seen Determination or Liath about? Where are you girls?!

Personally I am having the most horrible time at the moment - I'm getting mucked about by the lettings agency with the refurb on my new house and I have to move in soon. Plus I have to show potential housemates round what quite frankly is a sh*thole at the moment and try to be so charming that they overlook that and try to imgaine how nice it will be when it's done (IF it ever is!)

Plus we got told today at work that our two managers who were covering our manager who is off on long-term sick are leaving as well! Like being abandoned all over again and left with people who don't know enough about our service to support us properly. AND one of the managers who is leaving is the one who when I had my meltdown and came in drunk to work sorted it all out and arranged extended counselling for me- and actually understood the problem (His wife was an alcoholic before she died). He has been my rock and I'm absolutely gutted that he's going :upset:

I felt so lost that I didn't even want to go home today from work - I just wandered around the city and eventually met my ex (who is someone I can talk to now) and had a coffee, a cry and a cuddle. At least I haven't had a drink.

Sorry, had to vent.

[puddytat]

October - Fight Club

Hey Kimberley, wow! you've got some trying situations! Sorry didn't see your post until now , must be long after dark in the UK by now (only just after 4pm here)

WORK situation! know how you love your job, and what you've said about the manager being there for you and helping you out so admirably in your crisis -- that's a rare manager, IMHO and experience. You've already said the new one(s) lack familiarity with your organization and its mission, and who knows their character? Oh, I just feel for you. Really, I do.

But aww, so cool you met your Ex for a little cheering up; as I recall you guys parted amicably ... glad you still have a friend in him.

well, and good luck showing roommates your "sh!t hole" -- I'm sure someone will have the imagination to understand the upcoming refurbish? hopefully.

Hang in. I'm hanging in for Day 2, tho fighting non-stop nagging from the lizard brain. Baclofen helps. I'm worried. still hanging in

TGIF everyone ... and good luck on the weekend.

[Kimberley]

October - Fight Club

Hey Puddy! Thanks for replying - yeah it's nearly midnight now but I moaned to my ma about it, had a cuddle with the cat, ate some good food (mmm salmon steak) and tried to have a laugh about my situation with the flatmates.

It's not funny really at all, especially with the work thing. I have just been having one crippling thing happen after another and couldn't cope then!! So what am I supposed to do now??!! Even my back-up is gone!

But at least I have my strength, and like you Puddy I will be hanging on in there. In 35 mins time I will have made 7 days AF again and hope I can have a good sleep and wake up refreshed and clear-headed to tackle the house thing. I am booked in to meet 9 potential housemates so far over Sat and Sun - thank god I made the earliest one 2.30pm on Sat so I can have a big lie-in if I find it hard to go to sleep, which I have recently!

Puddy, the more time that passes as you fight the Lizard Brain, it will become easier overall. Just make it to the end of Day 2, see it through and tell that silly lizard that you've beaten him again. We gain strength by overcoming - I will remind myself of that tomorrow!!!

:l to everyone for the weekend. I won't be drinking and be checking in on you all - so no misbehaving!!!

[redhibiscus]

October - Fight Club

Good morning Kimberly, Puddytat, 1967 and everyone else. Day 20 for me today and it is starting to become a habit. Just so everyone knows, I have been trying so many times to be AF that I gave up keeping count. I am still tempted and/or thoughts flit through my mind daily about possibly having a drink. It is crazy. But I have thought it through and know after that last hangover, I can't do this alcohol thing anymore. It was horrible, as my body was screaming out to me that it can't take the abuse anymore.

Kimberly, that really is tough about your work situation. I want you to know though that I noticed that you have developed coping skills and should be proud of yourself. These are the skills I heard: You identified you were upset, you reached out for help and you know your support system. You did a great job. I am realizing that this is what it is all about, this AF life. We will constantly have stuff happen to us, but will choose to deal with it differently. We need support and have to ask for it. Isolating and ruminating are things that will lead us back to using. So give yourself a pat on the back.:l:h

Puddytat, you are doing a great job too and are having more and more days AF. That's what counts.:l For me this has been a journey and it has taken me time to change my ways. I am still scared of what will happen if I keep drinking and appreciate everyone who shares there experiences.

[1967]

October - Fight Club

morning all.
SAT administration this morning.
i have to get myself together. i woke w/a cold. i get all uptight about the SAT.
i wish i could just chill out about it!
i'll check back in the late afternoon. courage tous!

[Kimberley]

October - Fight Club

Hey Red. Congratulations on making it to Day 20! That's amazing and I am glad your brain and body are getting used to this AF malarkey. Temptation and al thoughts are perfectly normal, as you know, so you are doing a fantastic job getting through them. It sounds like you have come to a lot of realisations - I agree, the key is to cope differently.

Thanks for your kind words also i am trying to develop coping skills, but it is difficult particularly as I don't like asking for help!

1967 sorry you have a cold - try some deep breathing if you can or do some other de-stressing things. Having a long bubbly bath, going for a long walk - and of course posting your troubles on here!

Right all, I am going to get up now and face the house situation. Wish me luck

[redhibiscus]

October - Fight Club

Good morning everyone. Woke up with a headache and didn't even drink. I guess life goes on even AF. I am glad Friday and Saturday night are in the past as I had huge temptations/thoughts about drinking. I was able to not drink though, so should have a good day today. Keep on posting and talk to you soon.

[1967]

October - Fight Club

hi hi.
well i was a bad girl yesterday.

Starting over. Please let this be the last time I have to start again.
Good news though, my mom is home from rehab. She fell and broke her hip three months ago!
I couldn't reach her and my brother is focused on her life insurance so he doesn't want me around at all. He wouldn't take my calls. I must of called 50 times, and finally sent me a mean email but did tell me where she was.
so sad. she just told me he even went into her apartment and put all her valuables in a box.
he has returned them.
lord, what a terrible feeling for her!
okay so we are moving along.

[sparkleAZ]

October - Fight Club

Hi all,

I am still here everyday but am drinking. I almost feel guilty about checking in, which I know is rediculous. I am posting my drinks in the drink tracker and at least I have not given up totally. I have company again so it is difficult. Things should settle down in about a week and maybe I can focus more on staying AF.