October - Fight Club

[cyntree]

October - Fight Club

Hey everybody - I guess I lost this thread after starting on it last week -- anyway, as some of you know, thanks to your support and the pals on Operation October, I made it to day 7. Woo hoo!

Red - GREAT job getting through the weekend, sorry that those cravings are nipping at your heels. I have some bars that I keep with me in the car for blood-sugar help - remind me to tell you about them.

Good night all, and here's wishing everyone an AF Monday -
Cheers!

[Determination]

October - Fight Club

Morning, everybody! Sorry that I have been MIA - last week was insanely busy at work and at home. This week should be calmer. The good news - some of the crazy busy work kept me from drinking because I simply didn't have time to do it. The bad news - the stress of the week resulted in a weekend with wine - but not as much as before I was trying to get AF.

So, today is back to day 1, but at least I feel good that I had some accomplishments last week.

Red - that is just so totally awesome how well you are doing!!

Puddytat- how are you doing? I hope things in life - not just with AL - are looking a little brighter for you this week.

Kimberley - UGH!!!! You have ALOT on your plate!! Can you see the end of the tunnel yet?

Sparkle - Keep checking in - don't feel like you shouldn't check in if you aren't AF! I find that checking in at least helps me continue to work on being AF - and on days when I do have AL, by checking in, for the most part, I am so conscious of what I am drinking that I consume less.

1967 - Glad to have you board with the Fight Club!

[redhibiscus]

October - Fight Club

Continuing to stay AF after many temptations last week. I guess every week has temptations. I am so happy that I am closer to 30 days AF as I have not been able to do this since earlier this year. I am worried about a family gathering in the next three weeks. I will continue to try and remember all the good things about an AF life.

Please everyone who may have had some drinks, don't give up. I am just one drink away and realize this so need your support. Thanks.

[cyntree]

October - Fight Club

I ditto RH - everybody please continue to post no matter what. We're here for each other, and we've all been through it -- I for sure would not have been able to get to today without reading and posting this last week. RH - I hear you about being 'just one drink away', I feel that way too - you've got my support!!
Everybody - be gentle with yourselves, and take good care -

[redhibiscus]

October - Fight Club

Good morning everyone. It is a gloomy Tuesday here in the midwest, cool, soon to rain and cloudy. I am thinking of things I am grateful for, focusing on gratitude in order to life my mood. I need help. Here is my first list:

1. I am very thankful I am AF.
2. I am grateful for my health, especially after drinking for years.
3. I am thankful for the wonderful people in my life to love: husband, children, extended family, friends.
4. I am thankful for my job, providing an opportunity to service other and support myself.
5. I am grateful for my home, yard, and cats.
6. I am thankful for MWO site and wonderful individuals who are on my journey, willing to give support and nonjudgemental when I mess up.

This site has helped me in the last few weeks from drinking. I think of all the posts and the struggles we have. We want to live a better life and have right relationships with ourselves and others. Take care all and have a fantastic day AF.

[1967]

October - Fight Club

morning all... 6:20 in the Caribbean!
i feel a tiny bit better today which WILL be day 3.
i know from yesterday it will be hard.
Worth it though... gotta focus on the benefits of a clear mind and conscious.
i know i didn't say or do anything stupid yesterday as i remember it all.
hang in there all!

[Kimberley]

October - Fight Club

Hi all,
Just checking in very briefly as I am tired and want my bed!!

((Sparkleaz)) haven't seen you in a while. DO NOT feel guilty about checking in - I like it when you're around and hopefully when you have a bit less company to worry about and a bit more time for you it will get easier for you. Excellent that you're still keeping track though.

Cyn so glad you made it a week! Keep it up - you should be starting to feel very good physically and mentally. :goodjob:

Hey Determination, great to have you back - love the military turn-of-phrase 'MIA' for Fight Club lol. I am glad you feel like you have made progress- that's what it's all about! Yes I do have a hellofa lot going on at the moment but I am slowly but surely getting it done and trying not to panic. Oh, and still AF

Red - Great job staying AF despite temptations last week - you really are leading the pack here and showing us all it can be done despite our self-doubts. I know times get tough but I will try to support you if you need it. Thanks for your gratitude list - it's good to sometimes 'say out loud' the things we might often take for granted otherwise.

1967, sorry you are having a hard time, but glad you are managing to get back on track. Sounds like some rough stuff going on in the family, but you know it is all much easier to actually deal with if you do have a clear head and you will feel better for having dealt with it that way afterwards.

Anyway I am off to sleep - big day again tomorrow! Wonder when all these 'big days' will end- feels like my life is full of them at the moment :H Stay strong all!

[redhibiscus]

October - Fight Club

Hey everyone, hope your days or nights went well and AF. I am going out of town for a few days ona work project and will be unable to post. I will be in new situations, traveling, eating a different diet and I am worried about not being able to stay AF. There, I said it. I often have a hard time when I get tired or eat out alot and sometime want the fantasy comfort of some alcohol. So, I have just got to get through the next few days.

I know we all have our challenges and the support and encouragement has helped me immensely in October. Last time I drank after 19 days, this time it is 23 days so far. Wish me luck. I need it.

[1967]

October - Fight Club

I wish you strength and courage red!
I understand why you are concerned. I stayed at the Westin for a week-end... I had been 45 days AF... and bang! My courage went south. I was thinking 'all alone at a fancy hotel.' Crap, I'm having some wine! What's the harm? Who cares, nobody that is who!
It sounds like you are aware and prepared! I don't know what it might be, but have a backup plan!!!

[cyntree]

October - Fight Club

Red - ditto 1967 on the Strength and Courage front. But you are already doing it - 23 days! I loved your list - be sure and print it out and take it with you - it's like your magic talisman. I'll be sending you good energy every day.

Great to hear from everyone - Sparkle are you out there? Missing you -- 1967 - happy day 3 -- last week those early days passed SO slowly for me, but this week seems to be flying by.....

Take care all -

[Kimberley]

October - Fight Club

Some good advice on here Red from 1967 and Cyntree. Plan, plan, plan!! So you're stayng somewhere new? I think that's a lovely chance to explore the area -long walks, visiting local attractions etc,

You've done amazingly so far and who'd want to screw that up with a stupd drink. I KNOW you can do this - the fact that you are aware that a red flag has come up allows you to plan to avoid it. So it's a good thing you are worried - as long as you don't hold onto that worry and follow it through. Think to yourself - ok this really is a threat to my sobriety, how can I plan for this situation? Is there someone you can call if really tempted? A good booj you can just sink yourself into? Whatever works for yo, but just have it figured out before you leave!!

Sending you a big :l for strength.

[T'sHope]

October - Fight Club

Hello Everyone, :new:
I am new here and wanted to check in and give you my short version of my story. Great to see so many healing and fighting for sobriety here.
I have been at this for about 4 months and had a blip the other day. I am now on day 8 again of my journey. Some may not have counted that but I do. I was drinking about a 12 pack of beer a day for the last 3 or 4 years. I had a bad blow out with my OH who is still drinking and I just decided that was it for me and the bottle. I need to pull it all together and get my life back. I have been making allot of progress. My mood swings have slowed down now. I am sleeping and eating better and my whole life is beginning to get better. I ran across this site and I thought it would be nice to give and get some support in this journey. I will go into more later on but that is the short story of it. it was the kids grew up, I was lonley and OH worked allot. We drifted apart and he drinks allot. I started to then it got out of control. Every day. As you know it is a progressive disease and it destroys lives. I hated not really living, I hated me and I hated everyone around me. I was feeling quite sorry for myself really. Now I know I have the power to fix me, no one else but me. I can encourage and support but not fix. I was always trying to please everyone and ended up pleasing no one. It would be nice if we all had that kind of power to fix and make everyone happy all the time but I am not that person anymore. I am just me. One day at a time. One goal at a time. I have kinda gone away from really counting the days. I put it on the calender and move on. I have decided to be abstinent from it and just accept that. It was hard as heck at first but now it is getting better. Good days and bad. Learning to deal with feeling feelings was the hardest and still is. Drinking to drowned the loneliness and pain.Now I just try and live through it like most people do. I am learning how to live all over again. It was a long 4 months and 2 blips is not to bad. Not good either though. It is my choice to not drink again. I was a bit disappointed in myself the last blip. Seems that it just jumped out at me with little or no warning that time. The harder I fight the trickier it gets. The urges get further apart but allot stronger. I will just keep hammering away at it and now I have all of you to help. I will try and help you all as well.

Nice to meet you all and thanks for being here. See you around the threads. Hang in there mates.:thanks:

[1967]

October - Fight Club

cyntree;735636 wrote: Red - ditto 1967 on the Strength and Courage front. But you are already doing it - 23 days! I loved your list - be sure and print it out and take it with you - it's like your magic talisman. I'll be sending you good energy every day.

Great to hear from everyone - Sparkle are you out there? Missing you -- 1967 - happy day 3 -- last week those early days passed SO slowly for me, but this week seems to be flying by.....

Take care all -

Oh gosh thanks for noting that last week was slow and the following much better!
I CANNOT believe it is only Wednesday!
Lordie!
It's day 4. I admit I am a bit unsure of how I'll do today.
I will focus on how I feel this morning... which is rather clear headed!
Courage!

[Determination]

October - Fight Club

Welcome T's Hope! Your story has many common elements for lots of us here at MWO. I think Kimberley said it best in her post to Red - being aware and planning are key - and progress also, IMHO. Just a couple of months ago, I didn't care how much I drank. I knew I had a problem, but I just didn't care about it - life was too hard.

I'm not sure what changed my attitude - looking at my kids and realizing that they are growing up and I need to be there for them. In the last couple of months, I have recognized the key factors that trigger me wanting to drink - boredom, stress and depression. Some days/weeks I am able to succeed in fighting the urge to use wine to cope. But I am getting better at "talking" to myself and stringing together more AF days. The problems will ALWAYS be there in the morning after I drink - compounded by feelings of guilt/desperation and physically feeling like crap.

So...Red....I know you will be tempted, but you are doing so well - and the fact that you are aware and planning, I think you will be able to resist.

Kimberley...pat yourself on the back for handling all the pressures that you have right now - sober!

Puddy - what's up? How are you going? Is this week better for you?

Sparkle - How are you doing?

Liath - I know you have the GRE this month...is it over yet? How are you doing? How is your sister?

Hope everybody has a great Wednesday!

[Kimberley]

October - Fight Club

Hey T's Hope thanks for sharing your story - I look forward to chatting with you more. I went just over 4 months AF as well and can't seem to string as long together since then. I am actually feeling much, much stronger this past couple of weeks - so I shall stay on my guard!!

1967 - yes the first few days are achingly slow sometimes, but hopefully you will start to notice that you're feeling better soon.

Sparkleaz don't forget to keep posting - I hopre you find things easier in the coming weeks

Determination, I am glad to see you back a bit more often -the thread was getting lonely without you

Where are you Puddy and Liath????

Well as for me, I now have my confirmed 3 new housemates and will be moving house on 24th October. I have sent a detailed list of all the stuff that needs to be finished on the refurb BEFORE that date and made the tlettings agent sign it and promise to do it. So I am meeting him this weekend at the house to see what has been done. God I'm being a hard-ass about it, but I don't care it needs to be done. Couldn't have done all this if I'd been drinking - I'd have had too much anxiety!!

So I have signed my tenancy agreement today - with a clause saying I can take my cat there as well :cat: ("yes I want too move in, too!") and I feel like I'm really dealing with it. So much still to do though! Trying to get hold of some free boxes for packing, get broadband set up at new address ASAP, set up post redirection etc - it never ends! But at least I am doing it and I am doing it sober.

Had first big work meeting of the week over and done with today and the next one -with commisioners, arrrrggghhh! - on Friday. But I have already beaten all the year's targets they wanted within only six months, so they can't really pull me up on anything. Our commissioners are of the type though that even if you have written the report in your own blood, they will complain about you not putting enough effort in :egad:. Going to take that in my stride though, as that's their thing, not mine. (THANK YOU, DBT!! Anyone else trying that by the way? It seems to be helping a bit.)

Anyways hope to hear from you all soon. Stay strong guys :l