Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

[sparkleAZ]

I am so sick of this life of mine. All I can say is that I was doing well July and August and the first half of Sept. My sister came to visit from out of town for 10 days then I went to Portland to visit my daughter for 6 days. Ever since the holiday time I have not been able to stay AF for 1 day, not one lousy day. I wake up every morning and tell myself that's it my AL at least for today and by the end of the day I cave in. Can I do it today, I sure hope so, I am tired of letting myself down. Well people, that is my rant for the day.

[franziasgone]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

I'm with you

Hi Sparkle ~
I'm happy to see someone from Arizona!
I am feeling exactly the same as you this morning.
I had 12 people over for dinner last night...met my son's girlfriend's mom for the first time.
I was so worried about drinking too much in front of her- (even though I know she has some very bad habits too). I'm more dissapointed in the fact that I can't appreciate the evening because it's fuzzy and I had a terrible nights sleep.
I feel like crap this morning and wanted to have a great Sunday! It's impossible to not drink with company or any type of social event for me.......I hate that part.
How did you manage to do so well in July and August? Were you completely AF?
I'm always curious how others have done it since I just started this posting site two weeks ago. I ordered Baclofen so I'm hoping that will help me.

[Marshy]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

Hi sparkle,

I got very frustrated in the beginning about not being able to string more than a few AF days together. I decided Antabuse would help me - and it did. It takes away the possibility of drinking. I took it in the morning, when I was feeling determined, and even if I did think about drinking later in the day I knew I couldn't, so the thought went away very quickly.

I took it for about a month to give me some solid AF time to build on. It's not suitable for everyone, obviously, but it could be something to consider.

[tawnywitch]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

what is antabuse and where did you get it? I am waiting for baclofen to arrive, hope it may help me a bit.

[peacenik]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

when you feel like drinking today try reminding yourself how shitty you feel now...i find that it works for me to think about the bad effects of drinking instead of romanticizing about it.

good luck to you dear...you are worth the effort!

peace

[franziasgone]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

To Tawnywitch ~
Antabuse is medication that makes you very ill if you drink alcohol. I'm not sure if you can order it online like the baclofen.
I'm waiting for baclofen also- just ordered it Friday. I'm so hoping it works.
I mentioned before I was taking it for back pain and didn't know it was also used to stop drinking- therefore was drinking while taking it......
Now that I have read all these wonderful stories of success and how to take it properly- hope I can do it right.

[Marshy]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

Tawny, as franzia'sgone says, Antabuse makes you very ill if you drink on it. It can even be fatal apparently. It's not an anti-craving drug as such, but knowing that I couldn't drink took the mental battle away. You can get it on prescription in UK if your doc is willing.

[Shikakai]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

Marshy;729186 wrote: Hi sparkle,

I got very frustrated in the beginning about not being able to string more than a few AF days together. I decided Antabuse would help me - and it did. It takes away the possibility of drinking. I took it in the morning, when I was feeling determined, and even if I did think about drinking later in the day I knew I couldn't, so the thought went away very quickly.

I took it for about a month to give me some solid AF time to build on. It's not suitable for everyone, obviously, but it could be something to consider.

I drank on Antabuse and had to stop taking it... it didn't help me.

[Kimberley]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

Hey Sparklez, just wanted you to know I am thinking about you and trying to send some strength your way. Not so long ago you were doing brilliantly and I know you can do that again. Big hugs and never give up on giving up. X

[sparkleAZ]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

Thanks for all the support, I really appreciate it.

Franzia, I was not completely AF in July and August, I was able to string 4 days together and was very proud of that. I might drink on the 5th day but go back to no drinking for a few days.

Kimberley, thanks for your continued support. One of these days, I'll get 'er done

[Shikakai]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

sparkleAZ;729372 wrote: Thanks for all the support, I really appreciate it.

Franzia, I was not completely AF in July and August, I was able to string 4 days together and was very proud of that. I might drink on the 5th day but go back to no drinking for a few days.

Kimberley, thanks for your continued support. One of these days, I'll get 'er done

Get 'er done man, get 'er done... loved John Travolta for that

[cyntree]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

I'm in for the fight

Hello all - I see from the last log on date that I haven't visited since late July. I left on vacation, and took a vacation from being AF, and I have had a TERRIBLE time getting back. Just now I've promised myself to stay honest and post here everyday. All of you who post so honestly about all the ups and downs are so helpful. What a great community. I just haven't been able to get over feeling ashamed of not succeeding - but now I realize that it's OK to start again (besides saving my life). Right now it's feeling more like one minute at a time, but I will plug into all you wonderful people. Stay tuned....

[dill]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

Sparkle, You did it before and you can do it again! Never, ever give up!

Cyntee, I remember you from earlier this summer! Glad to see you back. Let go of the negative feelings, as they will not help! Just dust off and move on forward!

[puddytat]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

Hi Sparkles, There you are! wondered where you'd gotten off to from the Fight Club. I hear ya -- still struggling too. stick around, ok!

[Determination]

Oh geez - what the heck is wrong with me

Sparkle - I hear ya....August was a pretty good month for me. Not sure why, but September was a bad month for me.

October...is starting out better - and I almost made it through the entire weekend AF but after spending most of Sunday with in-laws...I bought a bottle of wine and drank the whole thing. :upset: