I hope this works!

[BadlyBruisedByBooze]

My story, condensed. Started drinking @ a very young age, my father was the drinker.
He died in 1982 @ the age of 52 and I started drinking heavily. Went to rehab & didn't drink for more than 2 years.
One day for no explicable reason I walked into the market & bought a bottle of Vodka. Needless to say this continued for many more years.
Recently, in April I went on a binge, didn't go to work. Didn't move my car for weeks & the tickets started piling up. My neighbor & my boss got concerned. He sent a couple of the boys from work to check on me, they ended up calling an ambulance I was in such bad shape. Anyway I lost my job from the bad economy, as well as him being fed up with my drinking, I lost my apartment & my car. I thought I was going to end up on the streets.
My mom ended up taking me in, with the condition that I didn't drink. A couple of days ago she walked into my room as was I was pouring a drink, then she found the empy bottles as well.
I felt so disgusted for having let her down, as well as myself not having the willpower to stop.
So here I am with the realization that I need help, with the hopes that I have found the right place.
Sincerely,
BBBB

[KateH1]

I hope this works!

HI BBB! Welcome Aboard!
MWO works if you work it! It sounds like you know what it takes to work a program of sobriety, after all, you made it work for 2 years before this. You will do it again....just comitt to a sober life and make a plan, then stick to the plan. I really encourage you to read the book, My Way Out, there is lots of valuable information in there. You will find a lot of encouragment and friendship here on this board, and if you are so inclined, pop into chat.

Good Luck and Best Wishes,
Kate

[startingover]

I hope this works!

Hi there BBBB,
Welcome to you!
MWO and all the folks here have helped me turn my life around completely.
So keep reading, learning and posting. Use the support thats available in bucketloads.
All the very best to you!

[tawnywitch]

I hope this works!

lot's of support here and you have made the biggest step by coming here,

[lil.michelle]

I hope this works!

Hi.
Welcome. This is a great site. You'll find lost of people with very simlar experiences. Well done for stopping for 2 years. Proves you can do it. I hope we can help. We're here to support you.

[JackieClaire]

I hope this works!

:welcome:
BBBB,

Good safe place you've found.

It's been a godsend for me.

Keep reading. Keep posting.

Please let us know how you're getting on.

Love Jackie xxx

[saddad]

I hope this works!

Hi BBBB, I've just joined the gang today as well, all the best in turning things round.

[hippie37]

I hope this works!

Hi BBBB!

I've let so many people down in my life through my drinking. My mum was the hardest hit after my dad died back in 2003 and she had no real emotional support. I brought her to her knees on the verge of a nervous breakdown because I just couldn't stop drinking. All the promises where false. Even though I wanted to stop, because I didn't want to hurt her anymore; deep down I didn't want to stop drinking because I was so fearful of living without it. I manipulated my mum, I stole from her, I lied, I was full of anger towards her (that I didn't even recognise) because she stopped me drinking in the house. I emotionally raped and blackmailed my own mother. Yet STILL I wanted to carry on. I don't know how many times I told her I was only buying a few cans (after I'd finally convinced her that I could moderate) and sneaked drink in the house right under her nose!. If I wasn't sneaking it in the house I was drinking it as quickly as I could before I got home down some dark alley. I went to any lengths to try and hide the build up of empty cans and vodka bottles. My bedroom was bulging at the seams! I ALWAYS got found out in the end and this caused more and more frustration and anger and shame because of it.

I hope you find your way out of this, I really do. Sometimes will power alone is just not enough. We need to cultivate a real awareness around our behaviour and our attitude towards drink and what our triggers are and most importantly be true to ourselves and how we feel.

Welcome

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[BadlyBruisedByBooze]

I hope this works!

Hello To All,

Thank you for all your replies! I'm feeling hopeful this morning. I'm exited to have this forum to go to when I wake, it fills me with hope. And when I'm not I think I have found a place I can go to at anytime I fell the need.
Thank you!
BBBB

[BadlyBruisedByBooze]

I hope this works!

Hi SadDad,

I was thinking, since we both started on the same day we should keep in touch daily. I think it's good to have 1 person to talk to every day, to help each other go through this at the same pace. I know there's 100's of people out there & I look forward to getting insight from all who respond.
I just thought that when you wake it would be nice to have someone who you can tell your daily woes. Just a thought.
BBBB