Alcohol as fun and as a reward

[keyners]

Dear board,

I have always associated drinking with good times. Why? Because I did have some awesome times with my friends during parties, singing, shooting pool and alcohol played a big role. Alcohol makes things more fun and relaxing for me. The next day sucks but you get over it and you so it again the following weekend. Water during parties is boring.

This is my problem: the sincere association of alcohol with good times. If I change that association I will have done a big step towards curing myself from my addiction.

How can I change my thinking about it?

Thank you so much.

[Milly24]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

Hi Keyners:
I think we all have associated alcohol with good times. And I too am wondering how I will cope with a party, etc. where there will be alcohol. Not sure if I can even socialize!! However, I am unable to drink socially due to the fact that I am an alcoholic so it will be a challenge.
Take care
P

[universal]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

Keyners - have you ever had bad times while drinking alcohol? Late night phone calls, fights with loved ones, stupid things that you can't remember in the morning? Those are the associations that you need to visualize to beat the drink - you can have good times without AL - those bad times when AL has clouded your judgement are the ones you need to remember.

Hope that helps.

[keyners]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

Universal, that is a very good point. I will list them out and try to reverse my thinking.

[drylifeahead]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

Universal...

I NEVER thought of that!!! That's something that would definitely help me as it's something that worries me too..how can I go out with friends to bbq's, b/day parties, holidays without drinking! Thank you for posting it!!!

DLA

[JackieClaire]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

I was a real party girl. Still am.

Just remember the morning afters.

The shakes, the head ache,the dry retching,the inability to keep anything down including water. I could go on.

Then repeat the whole cycle again.

J x

AF since 7/7/2009

[TakeHeart]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

I can totally relate! I have had a lot of really fun times partying.

However...Uni....you are also right. I've had some pretty horrible times, too.

And truth be told, drinking is no longer just about the party. Drinking alone or hiding my drinking is no longer a party.

Uni had some great advice as far as what we need to think more about.

Only thing else that comes to mind is maybe we need to put ourselves out there and have fun doing something we really like and just not have alcohol involved. Then maybe we can start collecting "fun" sober memories.

What do you like to do that you can go out and do sober and think you'll have a great time?

You know, I used to love playing tennis. Haven't done it in a LONG time. So, I'm going to play tennis this week.

What are you going to do?

[lil.michelle]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

well, if drink makes you so happy.. why are you here? What's happened in your life that has made you realise drinking is not good? How does drinking really make you feel?
See, i used to do them same thing, feel the same way but what i was really doing was not accpeting the fact that life changes, we grow older, we can't act like we used to, we have responibilities. We can't live like we were when we were teenagers and early 20's.
This however, doesn't mean life gets worse, we just need to change our thinking. It doesn't mean we can't go out and have a laugh, it just means we've got responsibilities that mean a lot more then a few drinks.....
In the end, drink is a fluid, thats it. Our families and friends are real people that love us no matter what, they bring us joy, laughter, support, comfort and our childrens smiles are one of the most important things and sights life can bring. how can drink compare to this or infact any part of life. You have to realise how amazing life is..... drink just passes it all away. It's not a treat it's not a reward it's covering the reality we live in.
I used to look at people and think, how the hell do you get through a day without drink or even a night... It takes time to change a habbit and routine, 4 weeks infact. Look at what you have and weigh up whether it's worth losing it all and missing out on it all just for a fluid......

[work in progress]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

It is possible to have fun without alcohol. I think we have just drank for so long, we have forgotten how to have fun. When I look back, most of my "laugh until it hurts" moments happened at childhood parties, camp and get togethers when I was a kid/teenager. I know we aren't kids anymore, but it has to be possible to recapture that childhood spirit without the alcohol. The question is how do we do that at a party? I'll have to think about this one.

[sunshine_gg]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

Fun, huh?

Hmmm... fun... good times... yeah, let's see here. If memory serves me right (and that's not a given), there were....

Inexplicable bruises
Broken dishes on the kitchen floor
Dim memories of slurred phone calls, but no recollection of the actual context
Countless nights of waking up, looking for gallons of water (or more booze, take your pick)
Countless mornings of feeling like the biggest asshole there is
Fighting the shame and guilt and anxiety of last night's FUN
Countless promises that this ISN'T going to happen again... only to throw it out the window a few hours later
Avoiding looking at my family... because I don't even remember dinner last night
Being immensely pleased with myself for having come up with a better way to get rid of empty bottles (only to find a few stragglers when reaching for something WAY back in the cupboard)

Wow.. I could go on and on with all the fun I had.

[sunshine_gg]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

work in progress;730906 wrote: It is possible to have fun without alcohol. I think we have just drank for so long, we have forgotten how to have fun. When I look back, most of my "laugh until it hurts" moments happened at childhood parties, camp and get togethers when I was a kid/teenager. I know we aren't kids anymore, but it has to be possible to recapture that childhood spirit without the alcohol. The question is how do we do that at a party? I'll have to think about this one.

How do we do that at a party? Bring your own drinks. Sit, stand, converse, dance, laugh, flirt, sip your own drink. After a couple of hours you'll get bonus entertainment, watching some (some, not all... probably less people than you might think) make an ass of themselves. Then go home, smile, and know you won't be waking up hung over tomorrow.

[Emmy]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

:thanks:

lil.michelle;730893 wrote: well, if drink makes you so happy.. why are you here? What's happened in your life that has made you realise drinking is not good? How does drinking really make you feel?
See, i used to do them same thing, feel the same way but what i was really doing was not accpeting the fact that life changes, we grow older, we can't act like we used to, we have responibilities. We can't live like we were when we were teenagers and early 20's.
This however, doesn't mean life gets worse, we just need to change our thinking. It doesn't mean we can't go out and have a laugh, it just means we've got responsibilities that mean a lot more then a few drinks.....
In the end, drink is a fluid, thats it. Our families and friends are real people that love us no matter what, they bring us joy, laughter, support, comfort and our childrens smiles are one of the most important things and sights life can bring. how can drink compare to this or infact any part of life. You have to realise how amazing life is..... drink just passes it all away. It's not a treat it's not a reward it's covering the reality we live in.
I used to look at people and think, how the hell do you get through a day without drink or even a night... It takes time to change a habbit and routine, 4 weeks infact. Look at what you have and weigh up whether it's worth losing it all and missing out on it all just for a fluid......

GREAT POST !

[redhibiscus]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

I did have great times drinking. But I can never recapture those times. Alcohol has a new meaning for me and it is all negative, now. It happened over time, and kind of snuck up on me. I had plenty of warnings but chose to ignore them, minimize, rationalize, compare myself to others and every form of denial in the book. Now Alcohol=Hell.

I have found that I have a way better time drinking water or tea or a nonalcoholic mixed drink. I am smarter, funnier, and better to be around sober. And I remember everything and don't have regrets. I guess when the bad times outweight the good, and the hangovers are longer than the buzz (I got that one here) it is time to take stock and either try to moderate or quit.

[queen of denial]

Alcohol as fun and as a reward

Keyners,
I had to learn how to relax without AL and I can also learn how to have fun without AL. I echo what everyone else has said remember all the bad things from drinking too much. The guilt, shame etc. I used to think i was a funny drunk until my husband told me AL makes me mean. my dad was a mean drunk so that really scared me. Also i drank alone (it became a babit) and hid how much i drank there is no fun in that. Make a list if you have to of all the bad memories of too much AL. remember what living in the fog is really like. Stupid arguments over what?? i think it is our mass media that attempts to convince us we can not have fun without buying their product and it is a lie so they can make more $$$$$$$$$$. Maybe it is an individual thing but for me the worst feeling was waking up on the couch with my glasses still on my face with no memory of the night before. Having to ask my husband did i say or do anything last night to embarrass you or I? the blackouts, being drunk in front of your teen-ager, do as i say not as i do, the wasted next day where all i can do is lie on couch too sick to accomplish anything....I have read that our thoughts have the power to create our reality. So maybe if we change the way we think about AL- it is not a good thing or our friend but a toxic poison, our worst enemy...Maybe the commercials on T.V. should show us the reality of too much drinking how much pain has this drug caused in the world? But then again maybe some people can enjoy this drug in moderation I for one for reasons i do not understand but have come to accept can not drink in moderation .