Making progress is hard work

[Qwerty]

On tuesday last week I threw away 9 days of AF progress and drank myself into oblivion. Wednesday morning I woke up, sick, hungover, full of the usual regrets, and started again at day one. I was so dissapointed in myself.
So, I've now completed another 4 days alcohol free and I'm really struggling to stay positive. I am so friggin' irritable it's driving me nuts. I can't concentrate on anything, I'm exhausted, I'm frustrated. I keep reading through all the messages here, and everyone is so positive, and I really admire you all for that, and i'm trying to be positive too, but to be honest I just cant bring myself to feel good about my situation. I feel awful. I cant relax. I'm 4 days sober and my mind is just spinning. The only time I feel any peace is first thing in the morning, when I wake up relieved that I'm not hungover. But it doesnt last. I know i wont feel like this forever, but damn, it's hard work.
Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest. Besides, it's not all bad, I'm sober, and I'm grateful for that. I really am.
~Q

[dill]

Making progress is hard work

Qwerty,

I hear you. I understand exactly how you feel. I've been there before. More than once. It IS hard work. Over time it will get easier. But it IS hard work. Hang in there!

[scrubbly]

Making progress is hard work

QWERTY, early days are the toughest, that is no lie.

However, I would disagree that the 9 days you had were "thrown away"....you had them, they cannot be taken away because you proved you can do it for that long, and I have faith you will do it again.

Try to focus on what you have DONE...the 9, the 4....not on what you have not done. The disease loves for us to focus on what we lack, not what we have gained.

Call up a friend, go out for a cup of coffee or something, grab a book and have a read, go to a movie, whatever it takes to get you through the next hump.

Good luck to you.

[Miss Behaving]

Making progress is hard work

Hi Qwerty!

Always good to find another kiwi on here!!

I'm really struggling at the moment as well. I've had a couple of months of AF time, but gave them up earlier this year. Told myself I was committed to an AF October, but only managed 6 days. Sometimes I get very sick of myself ....

I think sometimes you just have to ride it out ........ during those times when you just cant be bothered even trying, you need to do it anyway. And when you feel like you are spinning, just allow yourself to be a bit crazy for a while. As you said, at least you are sober, and at some point things will start to come right.

wishing you well

[being present]

Making progress is hard work

Qwerty,
It is hard, so unbelievably hard! I don't think other people who don't go through this could ever understand. I don't even understand it. It seems so simple, just don't have a freaking drink. I wish it were that simple. The amount of mental acrobatics I go through in order to not have a drink blows me away. The only thing I can say, is that it is worth it. It must be or we all wouldn't be here trying so hard! Hang in there. I am right there with you on this journey.

[redhibiscus]

Making progress is hard work

Qwerty, I understand, I have struggled this last week feeling anxious and depressed, even though staying AF. It is rough, but anything is better than continuing to get drunk, at least for me. I have to keep telling myself that too. Lately, drinking did not do anything positive for me from that first drink - maybe because I know too much. That I will feel like sh** physically and emotionally, and probably drink too much. You ARE making progress, drinking fewer days, valuing your AF time.

Sheri, I agree with you that if we are practicing gratefulness it is harder to feel miserable. I am making a list today and carrying it around with me. Thanks.

[lilmea]

Making progress is hard work

Congratulations on your 4 AF days! Don't drink...sounds so simple and yet it really is so hard sometimes. Hang in there because it really is so worth it!

[lil.michelle]

Making progress is hard work

Hi, well done for being sober. It is REALLY hard to stay that way. One of the things we drink has made us believe is that we NEED it to relax, we NEED it to help with stress. When actually, it makes us much worse as it's a depressant. What takes the time is educating ourselves again in how to live without an addicition, how to deal with stress naturally, how to relax naturally and it takes a long time for your body to ajust back to 'normal'. It will happen but remember drink is just that, a drink, it's not going to help in any shape and form. Try things like deep breathing (sounds silly but really helps) exercise (horrible i know but again a real stress buster) Making yourself look good, it really helps lift your spirts and feel good.
Good luck, well done!!!!!

[Winefree]

Making progress is hard work

You've got it right Qwerty, it isn't easy, but as others have said it is SO worth it. It is really harder in the beginning and it does get easier the longer AF time you can get in. You WILL feel better.
Keep positive, keep reading and keep trying. YOU CAN DO IT!

Winefree

[My New Beginning]

Making progress is hard work

Oh, it's a hard struggle alright. But positive things will come out of it, that's for sure. Each day gets a little easier. For me, I have to be very selfish and take care of mywellbeing before anything else.
I think that giving up alcohol is the absolute hardest thing I have ever done. But I know, it's worth every minute of the struggle. I wish you all the best on your journey...

[Qwerty]

Making progress is hard work

I never thought I'd say it, but I was so glad to go to work today. If only to keep my mind occupied for a few hours. It's just so tiring spending all your time thinking about drinking/not drinking. Almost 6 days AF now, and doing OK.
~Q

[startingover]

Making progress is hard work

Hi Qwerty, the early days are indeed tough, I was thankful for having a job to take my mind off my mind :-) Its like learning to live again filling the time with different stuff other than drinking. It really really does get easier and more rewarding. You are doing great, well done!