Operation October - week three

[dill]

Good Morning! We are beginning week three.

The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it.
--John Ruskin

It's a good day ahead. I plan on some grocery shopping, then picking up our grandson and having him over for the day! We haven't had him over in awhile, so I am really looking forward to it. I hope you all have a good day planned. I'll check in again later.

[lilmea]

Operation October - week three

Has is everyone this fine Saturday morning?

Dill-You're up bright and early and sounding positive and motivated. We know that Lav is Grandma Q-tip () what does your grandson call you? Enjoy your day spoiling him.

The third week of October! It's hard to believe. I started MWO in Feb. and have been af (except for 2 weeks in July) ever since. This is the most sober time I've had in years! All of you, right here on this thread, have helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you all. :hug:

Hoping everyone a great AF weekend!

[Lavande]

Operation October - week three

Good morning October friends!

So it is week 3, thanks Dill
I'm following you and Lil right along. This has been the quickest month for me so far, can hardly believe it! Ugh, when I think of how nasty I was feeling this time one year ago.........
Well, my Q Tip is in top form after several days of rain. We are expecting another Nor'easter to blow thru today - Boo, Hiss........

Enjoy your grandson time today Dill
Lil, enjoy your day, whatever you do!
I'm just playing it by ear today, see what comes

Hi to everyone yet to check in!
Lav

[TRUCKER123]

Operation October - week three

Good Morning everyone Today is my 10th day af....Feel good can drink a cup of coffee with one hand not 2 hands...nasty weather so just plan on staying inside today... maybe do some reading.Be good to yourself. Trucker123

[FindingMyself]

Operation October - week three

Good morning all!

Dill, Lil, Lav - you gals are leading the pack and I'm so pleased to be able to tag along. Congratulations to each of you and everyone here who is managing AF days whatever plan you are working.

Dill - I like the quote from Ruskin! Since being AF for a while I've gotten back into reading more and even picked up a book of poems by Loren Eiseley along with his book The Star Thrower - nature writing - which I enjoy reading. (Another benefit of AF: reading, writing, and REMEMBERING!)

Trucker - a big shout out to you on day 10!!! Great work. Glad you're posting here, I have been thinking about you.

Hi Mica. I use the CDs as well and really love them. Glad they are working for you this time around.

Hello to everyone. See you later in the day - hope it is a good one for you.

[Pamina]

Operation October - week three

Evening all,

Dill, Lil, Lav, Finding, you're all sounding good and settled.

Cyn, how's your weekend coming along? Are the plans in place?

Trucker :welcome: Well done on 10 days, you're into double digits woo hooo! Coffee single-handed is just the beginning of the benefits that will keep rolling in...

I've had a really lazy day, now in the process of being finished off with sparkling apple juice. I love apple juice, it's the season for it, I should really learn how to make it myself.

Have a great AF weekend all.

[Lavande]

Operation October - week three

Evening all,

Trucker, a big congrats to you on your 10 AF days - feels great, doesn't it? Just wait, it gets better & better

Finding, you are a regular now - love having you here too

Pam, I hope you are enjoying your 'free' time........glad the pressure is off of you!

Have a wonderful Saturday night everyone!
Lav

[cyntree]

Operation October - week three

Wow- I found the site via the web access on my phone! It works! How wonderful to be able to check in even while on the road....yes, thanks Pam, I'm working my out of town plan. so far so good...even sat w hubby on a rooftop deck last night while he had wine - didn't bother me, just enjoyed the views.

Now on to an evening performance tonight where everyone will be drinking, but feel OK - armed with Kudzu! Tomorrow will be day 14 - I will be thrilled to wake up sober.

Thanks all, and congrats to all on such determination...I'm taking 'the pack' with me wherever I go!

[sooty]

Operation October - week three

morning all, I just posted on newbies nest that I'm away for a few days, back wednesday. will try and check in but if I don't manage I'll see you all mid week - it'll be humpday again!!
Take care one and all
Sooty

[redhibiscus]

Operation October - week three

Good morning and welcome to week three. I am thrilled that I remained AF during my time away and more importantly last night. Great to see everyone checking in and reinforcing this AF team.

I discussed with my daughter during my visit, about not drinking this month. She stated she likes our relationship better as "no one gets upset." I had to think about that one, and realized that I have been a horrible example to her in the past, but know I am now doing the right thing. We had fun, just watched a cheesy movie, talked and laughed. You know, the simple things, the things that make a relationship. Oh, she also talked about her moderating, and stated, "I want to feel my feelings now." We were discussing the time a few years ago when someone important to us was dying, and we both drank more. I agree with her. I want to feel my feelings now. Being AF gives me the strength to feel the whole range of feelings and deal with them because I am not emotionally shakey.

I feel guilty but I am also so proud of my daughter. She has learned so much in the last few years, as have I. I am valuing my AF days more and more as time goes on. I hope everyone in Operation October is having the opportunity to grow in their relationships. I missed everyone and send out positive thoughts.

[dill]

Operation October - week three

Good morning friends,

I am not feeling very "up" this morning as I have to report that I relapsed this weekend. I am ashamed to post it, but if I don't, I'm not being honest, and I think being honest, especially with myself and this group, is important to my progress. I just hate bringing negativity into this thread. I really could have posted this yesterday, but I just couldn't bring myself to start the thread with such a negative post. But, if I had, then perhaps it would've kept me from repeating my behavior as I did last night. (After I took my grandson home.) It was just a relapse. I was doing well, and when I am doing well I feel good and then I get over confident. When the voice in my head suggests 'just one', I fall for it, thinking "Surely I can have just one and stop. I'm so in control of myself." Then the 'one' becomes 'one bottle' and the addiction is awakened and I repeat the process the next night as well. Does this sound like a broken record? SIGH. :upset:

Well, not today! This sad but honest post is going to help me shut this down again and get back on the bus. I just hope it doesn't upset any of you or get in the way of your progress. You all sound so strong! So, Sooty, here's my ticket.

Later.

[redhibiscus]

Operation October - week three

Dill,
I appreciate your honesty, and encourage you to make this a lapse and and not a full blown relapse. I also lapsed in September, so have just drank two times since August. My point being is that I am getting more and more time AF, and it is becoming my habit now. It seems that you are accomplishing the same thing - the drinking days are less and less, you have tools and strategies to help you, you have a support system, and most important, you are honest. With yourself and with us.

On a post by Doggygirl, at one time she relapsed and it took her eight months to get back to an AF life. I keep that in mind. I have done the same thing. Quit for several months and then started back up. I am afraid that one of these times I might not get the chance to be AF.

It is about progress, not perfection. We are all on this journey and everyone who so much as posts on this site is changing their consciousness and altering there awareness, a huge step in making changes. So do what you need to, listen to that inner wisdom, and know that you are cared about greatly on this site and in particular this thread. Take care today.

[lilmea]

Operation October - week three

It is about progress, not perfection. We are all on this journey and everyone who so much as posts on this site is changing their consciousness and altering there awareness, a huge step in making changes

Dill-We are all here for you. Just never give up! So hop back up here on the sober bus with the rest of us.

Trucker-Welcome: :welcome: and congratulations on 10 af days. Hang in there because it only gets better.

Sooty-Have safe trip. We'll all be here waiting for you when you get home.

Red-Welcome back and good job on your trip! You are sounding refreshed and positive. I must tell you that I also have 4 cats. One is sitting in my lap as I'm tying to type this.

Finding-How are you doing this fine Sunday morning? You are sounding so strong in such a short time! Any big plans for the day?

Cyn-So good to hear from you!! Congratulations on 14 days. You rock girl! It sounds like you are enjoying a wonderful, af trip.

Lav-I'm sure your going to beat me to the submit button today. But my typing speed is being hampered by 'furry friends'

I took a long, brisk walk yesterday. I'm hoping to do the same thing today. I'm trying to enjoy this very chilly fall weather as much as possible.

Have a great Sunday everyone.

[Lavande]

Operation October - week three

Good morning October friends,

I'm right behind you today Lil! Fortunately my dogs are way too big to sit on my lap so I can type unencumbered
The rain has stopped for the moment - this is getting boring. And my hair, well let's just forget it!

Sooty, we wait anxiously for your return on Humpday, be safe!

Dill, you were happy, feeling good after your visit with your grandson - so why the relapse? Are you using the wine as a reward? I always did that myself, it's so simple to do. To tell you the truth, if I had a bottle sitting around here I would probably do the same damn thing some days! It is such an ingrained habit......requires no forethought, whatsoever.
I realized I had to break that repetitive cycle if I was goin to make any progress. I promised myself to stay the hell out of the wine store - haven't set foot in there since early March! I decided to use really good coffees & teas in place of the wine. I have submitted myself to the suggestion on the CD of drinking only healthy beverages....it works!
Most of all Dill, I just don't want a repeat of last Christmas. I made a total idiot of myself, got everyone mad at me. I won't humiliate myself like that ever again. One glass of wine is just NOT possible for me. I know this now, I accept it! I am much, much happier without it, I feel in control of myself for the first time in a very long time How could I live with myself if I was denied access to my grandson now?
You are a very smart lady, you will make the right decision for yourself! And, we will be right here for you, as always with love & support!

Well, I'm heading out to pickup something to cook for dinner today. It would be nice to have something prepared when the kids get here later

Have a great Sunday everyone!
Lav

[ladybirdheart]

Operation October - week three

I am right with you Dill and did not post yesterday as I did not want to be a sad voice in an otherwise cheerful strong chorus. I know that is exactly when one needs to post, but I didn?t. I felt my mood going darker and darker last week and then out of nowhere had a dose of anxiety that ended up wearing me out. I started drinking on Friday night at midnight (this is a first and hopefully last) and a couple of hours later poured a large part of a thirty-eight dollar fifth of scotch down the sink. My frugal alcoholic mother would kill me for dumping it but she has been dead for nearly forty years so I am safe at least from her. Yesterday I received the herbal medication that helped release our Lav from symptoms similar to mine and I am really hopeful; actually more than hopeful, I am going to make it work whether it wants to or not (how?s that for Lavanittude!).

Here is a poem I found yesterday when I was looking around some addiction and recovery websites. It is for all of us. Love, Ladybird.

She let go --Ernest Holmes

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the 'right' reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn't ask anyone for advice. She didn't read a book on how to let go... She didn't search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn't promise to let go. She didn't journal about it. She didn't write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn't analyze whether she should let go. She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn't do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn't call the prayer line. She didn't utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn't good and it wasn't bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.