My story is that I have drank to excess for about 25 years. Went into treatment 3 times..maybe even 4, I can't remember and each time I would quit for about a month to 6 months only to relapse again.
The last time I went into treatment was after a binge of drinking myself to sleep for about 3 weeks straight. I woke, drank, slept. Sometimes I ate something in between but not often as it was hard enough to get enough liquor down me to quell the shakes and rapid heartbeat enough to pass out (relief) again. I usually had to throw-up over and over before I managed to keep enough down me for relief. I had to go into an emergency room when I could no longer walk to the bathroom to relieve my bladder. My legs were useless and I had to be carried out by emergency personnel. They sent me to a treatment center. After a few days I began to get back the use of my legs, slowly but surely. I still don't know why I lost use of them and heard not stories of anyone else having gone through such a thing but it was scary.
After being released from the treatment center I began to go to AA. I had been before, quite a few times and figured I was just one of those for whatever reason could not be helped by AA.
I tried hard and did ok for 6 months only to crash after an bad argument with my husband.
I swore though that I would do anything in my power never to have to go to another treatment center. I tried to go back to AA but it was like my relapse was my excuse to drink "a little" again since I knew I could most likely work the program if I really wanted to. I just did not want to think that I could never EVER take another drink in my entire life again. It was just overwhelming to me even to consider it. Even when I was going to AA I was always feeling in the back of my head that I could never really stay off the booze for the rest of my life.
Well, I vowed to never drink booze again. Just beer. It was cool at first, I got a buzz and was happy that I could drink in a more controlled way. And I did for a long time until I began to read about eating natural organic foods which led to making a lot of my own food. I even wanted to make my own vanilla extract from beans and 100 proof vodka. Only problem was that it did not take a lot of the vodka to make the extract and I don't like to be wasteful soooo, the only thing I could do was drink the vodka that was left over, AND when that was gone and I had no way to go for more, I drank the vanilla that I was making! And as soon as I could get more, I did. It was horrible. Only two fifths of vodka made me sick and the tremors, painful heartbeats, all of the misery came right back in no time.
I sweated it out for 3 days drinking some beers to try and keep the tremors down. I know it was stupid to do it on my own but I did it. After that I quit for about a month then decided that it was ok to go back to only beer.
And I drank beer for about 2 years and got sick many times still but nowhere near as badly as with the liquor. Nine to 12 a day (mostly only at night but occasionally I would have some in the morning or afternoon depending on how crappy I felt). They hardly gave me a buzz there at the end because I just could not drink enough to get the buzz I wanted.
About 2 months ago I wanted to try some of the recipes I had been seeing on the food network and they included the use of wine in many of the recipes (how easily I could find a way to get more alcohol into me, what a joke) so I got some wine and long story short had a 2 month wine binge winding up with the sweats, shortness of breath, painful heartbeat etc just as before. During this drying out period when I was finally able to get out of bed and sit at my computer I begain searching for ANYTHING that would help me with my problem. AA was out of the question since I had tried it soo many times before.
I read about Campral and thought wow, that might help me. If I don't crave alcohol maybe I can abstain from it. I had set up an appt to see my doctor and kept reading about it and suddenly the word Naltrexone started coming up, then the Sinclair Method was mentioned with a link that I clicked on and was elated to find.
It sounded too good to be true but I just could not get enough of reading about people who were doing so well on the method and I figured I would ask my doctor about that and try it first.
I was still drinking beer to help me get over the bout of wine so I got my prescription from my doctor and ordered the book that was recommended along with the Naltrexone (which I have not yet received) and began taking it this past Friday.
The first night I drank only 4 beers, next night 2, and last night none. I don't know if having gotten past the sickness from the wine had anything to do with my cutting down (since I was finally feeling better) or not but I either way I am elated to think that I might be able to control my abusive drinking in some way and maybe even eventually quit altogether or at least be happy on much less.
So here I am and I am here with lots of hope for better life. A life with a future other than trying to stay "unsick".
I would love any and all advice as this Naltrexone is very new to me and also to my doctor who was kind enough to let me try it even though she was not too familiar with it.
Sincerely, Brit
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