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Hiya Love.
I remember feeling "boring" and "dull" when I first went AF. These feeling passed and so will yours.
4 days without booze and twaks is a wonderful achievement.
Be kind to yourself today."The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"
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Congrats on day 4! I think what you are feeling is normal. We are creatures of habit.....good and bad. Change is a scary thing in all aspects of life, whether it be a new BF, job, school or whatever. But try to think of it as exciting instead of scary. Keep thinking of all the positive things about the new you.
You will have to endure being uncomfortable for a while but it will pass. Keeping extremely busy helped me alot.
Sending you support
:l
Ak:flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.
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Love, you have lost the love of your life (alcohol) so treat this like any other grieving process and know that in time, it will be OK. I can still remember how lost and confused I was without alcohol too. Keep ya chin up.
Love and Light
Phil
xx"Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
Clean and sober 25th January 2009
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It took me a while to realize I was not only the same, but better without AL. Like reptiles sheddding their skin that no longer serves it's purpose, there is a period of vulnerability. Somody posted a link to an article about the eagle and it was perfect! Oh maybe it was an e-mail. I willl try to find it. Oh. nevermind. Snopes said it isn't true but it was inspiring.sigpic
Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT
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Hazelden -- Dealing with grief is a healthy process--for anyone
If you're wondering how to cope with loss, you might ask someone who's recovering from alcoholism. When people enter recovery, they are giving up something around which their lives have revolved for a long time. Suddenly, they find themselves facing the world without the substance or behavior they've depended upon to numb their pain. They may have also lost their family, friends, job or self-esteem because of their chemical abuse.
With loss comes grief. When people enter recovery, they go through the classic stages of grief. People often approach recovery in a state of denial and anger. They don't want to admit they are powerless over their disease, and they're angry about having to say good-bye to their chemical or behavior.
Then they try bargaining: "I can't smoke marijuana, but I should be able to have a couple of drinks. . . ." Sadness and depression often follow until they accept the reality of their addiction: They can't have just one.
Look further into the grieving process love as I feel this will really help you understand what it is you are going through."Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
Clean and sober 25th January 2009
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Hi & Welcome, Love -
I actually had a twinge of Jealousy reading your post... thinking how my life would have been SO different had I "gotten it" the way you have at such a young age!!
You have the possibility of a Wonderful life ahead of you!! It WILL be worth the initial discomfort (which will soon be history!)...Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin
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Lovemylife, it is scary to give up alcohol and cigarettes. They fill so much of your time, they are your best (worst?) friends. You can reach for them no matter how you are feelings. To start this journey, you have to find out what you like to do, how you feel, think about your relationships. I remember at first I though about how I would fill my time. I made a list of all the things that give me joy and tried to do one or two every night after work. It helped me. Dealing with feelings is a lifelong journey, I think. Relationships are so much better AF. Just watching a movie with a loved one, laughing, and remembering every part of your interaction. It is so simple and basic, and yet such a different experience than drinking and watching a movie. I am amazed at how much happiness I find in the simple stuff. Take care.Redhibiscus
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Lovemylife,
I understand your feelings, I had them too!
Congrats on your success so far - that's great
Try to think of this process as reinventing yourself a bit - a new & better you is emerging! Picture yourself as the person you want to be (as advised in the CDs), it helps. This is a new & exciting time for you, fill yourself with happiness & joy, leave no room for fear & worries.
The best is yet to come
Keep up the great work!
LavAF since 03/26/09
NF since 05/19/09
Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:
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