This Saturday I will attend the funeral of a friend of mine. I just spent a couple minutes trying to write the next sentence and can't figure out how to say what needs to be said. But I think that all of us here, in this particular website need so much to hear about this man that I truly believe that anonymity is less important than getting the message across, and, you know, I think he might agree with me.
My friend was only 41. He was handsome and seemingly successful in a very high-stress profession. Some years ago, all of us couples would meet on a Friday for beers at the local dive, go to parties at each others' houses, watch the game together at tailgates. And some of us noticed that he was drinking a little more than we were, but then again, sometimes we were right there drinking a little more, too. My husband and I kind of dropped out of the party circuit, but kept in touch enough to know that there was an intervention planned, and it failed. Some "tough love" was tried. His marriage failed. I didn't keep in contact. Wish now I had, because it sounds like what he needed most was a friend. A friend that wasn't in a bottle, anyway.
He died alone. It was an accidental death, not suicide. But it was a very messy and a very painful death. And it took a long time to die.
So, Saturday we'll all meet again. And I guess this will be one funeral that there isn't going to be a wake afterwards. Just doesn't seem to be very appropriate, somehow.
Take time, this week-end, to tell your friends that you love them. Give your spouse a hug. Play with your kids. Watch the sun rise. Enjoy this beautiful, blessed earth.
My friend was only 41. He was handsome and seemingly successful in a very high-stress profession. Some years ago, all of us couples would meet on a Friday for beers at the local dive, go to parties at each others' houses, watch the game together at tailgates. And some of us noticed that he was drinking a little more than we were, but then again, sometimes we were right there drinking a little more, too. My husband and I kind of dropped out of the party circuit, but kept in touch enough to know that there was an intervention planned, and it failed. Some "tough love" was tried. His marriage failed. I didn't keep in contact. Wish now I had, because it sounds like what he needed most was a friend. A friend that wasn't in a bottle, anyway.
He died alone. It was an accidental death, not suicide. But it was a very messy and a very painful death. And it took a long time to die.
So, Saturday we'll all meet again. And I guess this will be one funeral that there isn't going to be a wake afterwards. Just doesn't seem to be very appropriate, somehow.
Take time, this week-end, to tell your friends that you love them. Give your spouse a hug. Play with your kids. Watch the sun rise. Enjoy this beautiful, blessed earth.
ray:
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