Hi all. I'm back to try again. I think the mod thing isn't for me, so today I embark on the AF journey. I went out last night. Made my husband feel like crap when, already waisted, I told him I was going to meet coworkers (at 11pm) and got in my car and drove into town. I didn't care what he said, I was going. First of all, I should have NEVER been behind the wheel. Very stupid. Secondly, I continue to hurt him with my drinking. I dont want to hurt him. I am being a horrible influence on my 18 year old son and if I get this under control now, my 3 year old daughter will not be affected by years of continued abuse and thinking that it's 'normal' to drink in excess and nightly. I'm going to reopen MYO book and start reading again. I did get a rx for the Toprimate, but truely, when I was taking it before, I didn't seem to notice much difference, probably because I never went AF. My patterns just continued and got worse. I got written up at work TWICE for being late (both times a direct result of not being able to stop and then being up far to late!) I'm really messing up. I'm messing up my marriage and my job. You know, I dont wake up and crave alcohol, but when I get home at 3pm, I'm always thinking about when my mother is coming over for 'happy hour'. She does just about every night. She's a lifer, but she handles it and she can stop at 2 and go home. Unfortunately, I keep going. So, while I can't tell her she can't come over for a couple hours at night, I will express to her my goal. I am going to start small. One week AF, then two, then four...etc. I also have another short term goal and that is to get involved in some kind of cardio exercise program. So, AF day by day and small exercise implements... Wish me luck. I will continue reading MWO forums. I hope everyone is well and wishing everyone success.
Thanks all!
Kim:new:
Thanks all!
Kim:new:
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